Relationships are about giving.
And, I know that I can't give what I haven't got.
So, the quality of my relationships with others... is a direct reflection of my relationship with myself.
If I don't have a good relationship with myself -- how can I possibly offer to give to someone else -- what I haven't got, to give them?
Perhaps giving is not the word I should be using here. I can't actually "give" a relationship to someone else. All I can do is to be around them... and they will automatically experience the effects of me.
If my cup is over-flowing... whatever is in my cup is going to spill out and on to them. And... by the same token... if my cup is empty with nothing to give... I'll be like a siphon... draining out of them what they have.... because I have nothing of my own. In other words... I'll be a taker... instead of a giver.
So, what's in my cup? What's in my cup is dependant upon what's in myself. And, all the good that's in myself -- is a manifestation of, and a result of, my relationship with my own recovery.
For me, my recovery represents living "my design for living." And, for me, my design for living... is our design for living... that I've learned and discovered and applied in and through A.A.
So, the quality of my relationship with my recovery... is a result of my application of our tools and our way of life.... And, if I'm applying it... and living it... I'll end up having a good relationship with myself.
There was once a time in my life... that I just couldn't stand myself! There was good reason for that... I needed to make some major changes. Once I made the changes... I eventually began to like myself.
Have you ever been with... or been in a relationship with... someone who didn't like their self?
So, if I don't like myself... what good do I have to share with someone else?
When my relationship with my recovery is right... it gets me right on the inside and on the outside... and I'll end up liking myself... and enjoying being the me that I am. And, with that... I'll feel happy to be me. And, if I'm happy to be me... I'm happy. I can't make someone else happy. I can't give enough of anything to make them happy. But, I can give happiness to myself by using our tools and way of life. And, if they are happy to be around me... they are experiencing the happiness that's inside me... that is a direct relationship to my relationship with my recovery.