dating the first year

Topics and discussions related to being single and or dating while in recovery
Dallas
Site Admin
Posts: 4782
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:55 pm

Exactly!!! Thanks for pointing it out!

Dallas




Tim
Posts: 310
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:34 am

Postby Tim » Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:03 pm

If we are honest about it, we have to admit that our relationships at the time we begin sobriety have gone to hell in a handbasket (Tim immediately raises his hand in the air and waves it around).

Early sobriety is difficult (I've done it many times). We need to do what needs to be done to achieve and maintain sobriety. In AA , that means working the 12 Steps. No relationship is going to work, including the ones that are hanging by a thread (I was married when I got sober), if we don't recover from alcoholism.

Once we have worked the 12 Steps, our relationships tend to improve dramatically, and our ability to engage in meaningful relationships with others, ourselves and our Higher Power, progresses by leaps and bounds.

"First Things First" p. 135 Alcoholics Anonymous

ap
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:44 am

First things first...yes

Postby ap » Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:09 pm

Tim wrote:If we are honest about it, we have to admit that our relationships at the time we begin sobriety have gone to hell in a handbasket (Tim immediately raises his hand in the air and waves it around).

Early sobriety is difficult (I've done it many times). We need to do what needs to be done to achieve and maintain sobriety. In AA , that means working the 12 Steps. No relationship is going to work, including the ones that are hanging by a thread (I was married when I got sober), if we don't recover from alcoholism.

Once we have worked the 12 Steps, our relationships tend to improve dramatically, and our ability to engage in meaningful relationships with others, ourselves and our Higher Power, progresses by leaps and bounds.

"First Things First" p. 135 Alcoholics Anonymous



I agree 100%, however i am not to sure there is a "time frame" on what people refer to as " early sobriety" and how long it take to go through the steps to a point where sanity has been returned. It states in the book, right around the 9th step, but it doesnt say how long that takes. This is a program of action, not time. Early sobriety didn't start when I walked into the rooms or even everytime I started over. Early sobriety started when I surrendured and turned my will and life over to the care of a God I understand. My experience, is to never share about time. God will set the table in his time, my job is to do the work.

Adam D.
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 10:44 pm
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby Adam D. » Tue May 25, 2010 4:39 pm

In my experience I've found the reason most people in early recovery can't handle dating is because relationships are resentment minefields. I think that as long as the person is making sure to take care of these resentments as the book suggests, there shouldn't be a problem.




DiggerinVA
Posts: 152
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:04 pm
Location: Williamsburg, VA
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Postby DiggerinVA » Fri May 28, 2010 11:54 pm

I wish the people sponsoring around here would remember. That if you tell an alcoholic they can not do something, they are dern sure to do it. Besides sex is a basic instinct. It is going to happen. I believe a power greater than me created it and should be the guide. Oh working the steps gives access to that will.



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