Needing Or Wanting

[Rebos]

To whoever cares,
Hey everybody, today I have 43 days sober. I know that don't seem like alot, but to me it is a great number. I am having a little problem though. I fill the need for some female company in my life. Not to sound like a dog, or in anyway offend anyone. But I truly feel that sex is great for stress relief. And I know that I am in no shape for a healthy relationship anyway. I know that I could solve this little problem by going to the local tavern. However I also know that that would create even worse problems. Spending some private time alone, is not the answer for me either. So to any of you old timers, what should I do.

[DiggerinVA]

What I'm going to say is probably something you don't want to hear. Lay off the relationship idea until you work the Steps of the program. Treatment Centers will tell people stuff like no new relationships in the 1st year.

Switching of addictions is something that easily happens once one substance is removed.

So get a sponsor who has worked the steps and since you have time on your hands get the work done. When you are ready the ladies will follow.

[Dallas]

But I truly feel that sex is great for stress relief. And I know that I am in no shape for a healthy relationship anyway.

Step 13: "We admitted that our lives was a wreck -- and encouraged anyone and everyone to share in it with us"


I understand... been there and done that, too.

For me... I keep my sex activity out of my recovery environment. Or else, sex is not great for stress relief -- it just makes great stress.

My first sponsor explained it like this:

"When you go to the produce market... do you always look for the bruised and damaged fruit?"

I must say... He had a great point.

[MichalF]

Step 13: "We admitted that our lives was a wreck -- and encouraged anyone and everyone to share in it with us"

WOW! excellent! I must sell that in my company Thank You

[ccs]

Hi Rebos I usually post theese in the quotes forum but this seems to belong here I pray you are still around to read it it comes from a guy named Michael Z he speaks my mind and heart a lot !!!

Oh Dallas that step 13 is a good one
LUV-2-ALL Cessie Happy happy DEC 1st !!!!!

"Relationship: Real Exciting Love Affair Turns Insanely Obsessive, Now Sobriety Hangs In Peril."

Someone once said that getting into a relationship in early recovery is like throwing miracle grow on your character defects. The danger comes from not having developed a relationship and reliance on a Higher Power, so the other person quickly becomes one. Because people aren't perfect, this total reliance almost always ends in frustration and hurt feelings.

The other problem comes from our self-obsessive natures. Self-centered in the extreme and new to recovery, we obsessively use the other person to fill the tremendous void we still feel. We soon find, however, that our self-seeking continues to get us nowhere, and before long we stand at the precipice and our nascent sobriety is in danger.

Over time we come to understand the importance of developing and relying on a proper relationship with God. We learn to turn our character defects over to Him, and to give of ourselves unselfishly knowing that our true purpose is to be of service. Once we are on this right footing all our relationships flow smoothly, and we finally experience the peace and serenity we had always sought.

[Dallas]

Very good Cessie! Thank you!