Hello Witchita! I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your experience! I understand!!!
I always say: If you really want to understand and be able to help an alcoholic -- (or, yourself, if you are one) -- take some courses in Child Psychology. You'll learn all you need to know!
Us Alkies are real child-like in our emotions and how we respond to outside stimulus. We feel more than the average or normal bird out there. I think part of it has to do w/ our hyper-sensitvity.
If you ask me -- what you're experiencing is normal for a 1 1/2 year old. And, I'd tell you that it's also normal for a 23 1/2 year old Alkie, too. However, it wouldn't be normal for matured grown up non-alcoholic.
I enjoy the fun and the feelings of being a child -- but, life says to me, that if I want to become more effective in my living and communicating with the outside world -- and stay sober -- I've got to find a way to at least "act as if" I were a mature, normal, non-alcoholic adult. And, trust me... THAT AIN'T EASY!!!
I have to constantly remind myself of Rule #62: Don't take myself too seriously! Relax and take it easy.
If I don't do that -- I'll end up clobbering the heck out of myself and beating myself up over things that I do... that may not be so good for me to be doing!
You're in the right place... Why? It may not do so much for you, but you sure help me -- to feel so "not alone and not unique".
Keep coming back! I appreciate you.