me- 1 1/2 yrs sobriety, working through 4th step; almost done
i'm recently separated from my wife of 10 years. she is not sober. we are fairly amicalbe but divorce is a certainty.
throughout my sobriety i have met many wonderful people. i'm a bit of a flirt but pretty harmless overall. i realize that i'm both way to green in sobriety and my separation to even think about relationships. i know this.
and then i met her. we met in AA (of course) and a group of us would all go have fellowship after a meeting. we talked and laughed a lot. she was one of many pretty girls that i talk and flirt w/ on a regular basis. again, i neither want or need a relationship w/ anyone but myself and god right now.
about 3 weeks ago she and i were talking after a meeting and i swear to god something happend. it felt like i was hit by a lightning bolt. i'm sure she could see these heart shaped mushroom clouds in my eyes. i totally fell for her. head over heels. rediculous. i was/am swimming in crush. a crush like i havent had since gradeschool. its totally irrational but soooo real. i asked her out. she very kindly declined, and then we talked and laughed into the night. i guess one thing that makes me feel better about all of this is that she is a very kind and cool person. she was very kind and compassionate to her new puppy love struck friend.
my feelings are starting to mellow. thank god.
i sure wasnt expecting anything like this to happen. dang.
i'm sure it's testament to my recovery that i havent completely gone off the deep end over this. i can sit with my feelings and be o.k with it.