Sponsoring someone with lots of time?

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Sponsoring someone with lots of time?

Postby diggityDawg » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:35 pm

I've been sober over 26 years (6/29/83) and have sponsored lots of guys over the years. But everyone I've ever sponsored was a newcomer. Last weekend someone I know from local meetings asked me to take him through the steps. He just celebrated 10 years, and is actually about 10 years older than me. I'm not quite sure how to approach going through the steps with someone who has a good amount of time and has gone through them several times before. We're meeting tomorrow night to get the ball rolling, and he wants me to lay out how I want him to go through the steps.

Any advice you can provide is appreciated!



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Postby GeoffS » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:40 pm

How about sharing your experience strength and hope with him, then going through the 12 steps as it says in the big book?

He may not be a newcomer to working the steps, but he's a newcomer to working the steps with you.

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Postby diggityDawg » Wed Feb 24, 2010 5:06 pm

Ok, there's definitely a good case for keeping it simple, and I do have a tendancy to complicate things beyond all necessity...

I guess what I was looking for is some advice for how I might approach working the steps differently with an "old-timer" than I would with a newcomer? For example, with newcomers there's a lot of emphasis placed on the first step and getting them to a place of acceptance regarding their disease. That probably isn't the case with someone who's been sober for over 10 years... Does that make sense?

Thanks again for your help!


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Postby Dallas » Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:44 pm

The book only describes one way of "taking the Steps"... regardless of how long someone has been sober.

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Postby gunner48 » Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:37 pm

I have had the pleasure of working with a man of 30 years sober. He admitted he had done so by not drinking and working with others. One of the best people I know of with working with new comers. He couldn't understand why after 3-4 months they would get someone else to work with. The reason was although sober for many years he didn't have the necessary foundation to help beyound that. He asked me if I would sponsor him and I agreed if he was willing to do what I had done. We started at the beginning of the big book. Forward to the first edition. We read 2 pages a day trying to understand what was being talked about and taking the action required to recover. This man had read the big book lots of times but again admitted he never could remember what chapter 2 said when he was reading chapter 6. He was a speed reader ( read it fast so he could say he had read it.) WE simply read, understood and took action. In just 3 months he had worked the steps and had the foundation he needed. Today he sponsors several people with lots of years and has grown in every aspect of his life. I grew by offering what I had.

Start at the beginning, carefully guiding him thru the steps, take time to pray with him and offer your friendship. I think sometimes we think that just because someone has been in the program for awhile that they know what to do. Not always true. When I lost my father 11 years ago I had almost 10 years of soberity, If a man not not approached me and offered to help I am not sure what I would have done. I was lost and upset and didn't know how to deal with what was going on. That man took me back thru the steps so I could rediscover my path.

From what you have said it sound like this person needs you in their life. We offer what we have. Just be a spirital guide.

Peace and Love Gunner

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Postby diggityDawg » Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:31 pm

Thank you Gunner, that's EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Very inspirational.

We met tonight to start the process and it went very well. I'm excited to work with this man, and I'm sure the experience will change us both.

Thanks again for your encouraging words.


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