Need a sponsor....too picky

[lotusinbloom]

I've been out of detox and rehab for 8 days now. I have attended several meetings and have been given numbers. I need a sponsor but I feel like I am being too choosy. I want someone with lots of sobriety....someone who is going to be tough on me and not sugar-coated anything. Suggestions?

[Toddy]

26 days here. My sponsor kinda picked me. Started taking me around to meetings etc. We get along great. he is much older than i am, 24 years sober. Good match for me. I got lucky.

Toddy

[Dallas]

If I was in the water -- deep water like staying sober -- I'd look for something to hang on to in case I needed it -- If I was drowning -- it would be too late to think about what I could have grabbed on to... to help save me from drowning.

Some things I've done before was:

1. I'd get the list of sponsor numbers -- so I could give them out to other people that might need them. Like "Hey! If you get in trouble, call this guy!" ... Naturally, I would have never called the guy whose number I had just given away!

2. Get the list of potential sponsors -- and see if you can keep them sober, give them a purpose in living, etc. Give them a call, check on them, ask them if they're still sober and doing alright! In other words -- sponsor the oldtimer and not let them know your sponsoring them -- let them think they are sponsoring you!

Maybe you can come up with your own version of 1 or 2 above, and then, you'll have 3 or 4, solutions!

IT'S NOT EASY to find a good sponsor! It used to be a lot easier -- but, it keeps getting harder and harder to find a good one. So, my suggestion is: grab on to anyone and "use your friends wisely!" You can always replace them down the road if it doesn't work out between the two of you.

Keep in mind, it wasn't always the smartest, brightest and best looking guy/girl in the class that succeeded!

Dallas

[lotusinbloom]

i prayed last night really hard for a sponsor....i walked into a meeting at noon today and who was there but an old neighbor who lived in my neighborhood as long as me...16 years. she was the speaker. she is slightly younger than i but has 21 years sobriety...she is going to be my sponsor ...i am overjoyed!!!!

[Larry H.]

i prayed last night really hard for a sponsor....i walked into a meeting at noon today and who was there but an old neighbor who lived in my neighborhood as long as me...16 years. she was the speaker. she is slightly younger than i but has 21 years sobriety...she is going to be my sponsor ...i am overjoyed!!!!

Great News!! Now comes the hard part. Following your sponsor's suggestions when you do not want to.

Larry,
-----------------------
"If you don't get a sponsor, you'll be listening to the same dummy who got you into these rooms."

[Dallas]

Lotus! You sure are a welcome inspiration to me!!! Watching how your grabbing hold of this deal -- praying for guidance -- and "low and behold!" the prayer gets answered! When I watch you "working it" it shows me, that "Yes!!! This deal really does still work and it works great for those that work it!"

Unfortunately, too often, I get to see and hear from those that didn't work it. And, their stories NEVER get better -- always worse!

So, watching you in action is, for me, like watching the Sunrise of The Spirit! Thank you for sharing your life and your recovery! You're being a big help to us all!!!

Dallas

[lenny]

good job on finding your sponsor.I know from experience,that finding the right person to guide you through early sobriety is very important.It took me about 3mo's to find my sponsor,and we are a perfect match.He is 6 years younger than me,but knows how to make himself come across with the right suggestion at almost the right times.For me it is not a question of the length of sobriety but the quality of his or her sobriety.

[GeoffS]

My experience of finding a sponsor, and what I pass on to newcomers is simply 'look for someone who has what they want, and wants what they have'