GEEEEEEEEEZ, y'all ... How did I miss all this discussion in MY OWN THREAD!?!?!?! Where the hell have I been !!?!?
"Am I my brother's keeper?
Yes, sir, I surely am.
If I'm my brother's keeper,
Then tell me who's brother I am."
I been tough-loved by my Loving One. Go figure. He abandoned me when I needed Him most. But then, I TOLD HIM to leave me the hell alone.
Come to find out, He never "left me". He just backed off until I hit bottom after bottom and was eventually convinced that I was of no value to myself. He just stepped back into the shadows watching, crying, until I was willing to reach my own hand out and accept His help.
It's so sad that some never get it before their bottomest bottom breaks through. Oh, you oughta see the heartbreak of my Loving One then.
It's a hard thing for us human-type-people to watch. You, know ... like watching your favorite football team losing, sitting on the edge of the sofa with your feet running, your arms reaching out to catch the ball, your head lowers, teeth, clinch, face scrunches to empower the tackle ... you're worn smooth out and all your muscles ache later as if you were in the game.
I was thinkin' about the difference between mothering and fathering. Caught a psyche study one time of the different parenting techniques we appear to be born with.
Mothers tend to help their children do a thing, solve a problem, with their own hands, giving them the answers.
Fathers tend to make them figure it out themselves.
Mother - "DON'T DO THAT! YOU'LL BREAK YOUR NECK!" Broken arm. Thank God she was wrong about the neck.
Next time I want to try ... "Nope. You're NOT doing that again."
Father - "Knock yourself out. See what happens." Knot on head.
Next time I want to try it again. ... "Knock yourself out. Try it this way and see what happens."
I remember a time when a previous wife and I were watching our 8 yo son play baseball. He got his clock cleaned by a bouncer. My wife immediately jumped up and started running out to the field. But I grabbed her belt in time and sat her fanny down.
She was beating me trying to get away to save our son. Mothers are like that. Yeah, they are.
It's their JOB!
Believe me, I was just as concerned. But I knew that it would be more damaging to his ego to be babied by his mother in PUBLIC, fer cryin' out loud, than to be carried off the field with dignity.
Besides, she probly woulda wailed the tar outa the kid who hit the dam ball and got ME beat up saving her from the other kid's dad.
Mom's and dad's have different jobs. So do we in AA as near as I can figure. Sometimes we have to know when to be mom and when to be dad. We each have to take on either role from time to time.
It's also why we are a body. Each of us is blessed with an abundance of one or the other attitude. Together we are both parents, both necessary to the parenting of HP's kids ... which are US.
Well, that's my idear.
Love ya, my bros & sisses.
PS: I dunno. For some reason, like PROJECTING AND ANTICIPATING, I'm inclined to remind y'all that the foregoing was from a clinical analysis and there were, of course, exceptions to the final generalization. GENERALLY SPEAKING. NOT ALL OR EVERY. K?