- Define "getting rid of resentments"

Define "getting rid of resentments"




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Postby tim-one » Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:34 am

Geez, guys ... you're makin' me consider myself already this HOT HUMID Houston morning with no AC! I AIN'T in a swell mood. Thank God I know that a drink would make it hotter ... in more ways than I can imagine. :roll:

Here's MY take on forgiveness. A lot of it is probly reiteration of what I said before. Trying to be consolodate it. (Good luck, Tim1, the way-verbose-alcoholic. :oops:

Forgiveness is SO important to humility, understanding, tolerance, and spiritual fitness.

True forgiveness is understanding that "they may be sick people" like us. Understanding that, if I don't have control of my "sins", neither do they.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If I can't forgive them, how can I expect forgiveness?

Holding onto grudges, resentments had become a (in)security blanket for me. They DESERVE the misery it gives me. I ain't letting go of it. It's MINE, dammit!

On some, I had to keep forgiving until it was my heart. I'd forgive and then find myself boiling up in the car over it. UNFORGIVEN. Do it again. And again trying to step 4 my fanny each time REALizng that my selfish expectations were too high ... child or not.

(so much for brevity, huh ?) :P

Turned out that, even though I may have prevented myself from acting like them, it was in me ... just stiffled.

By working this program diligently and staying in constant, deep contact with HP, I practiced forgiveness until it got real in me. Just had to keep an open mind and heart having looser grip on my security blanket each time.

Keep pounding it out with serenity for you and grace for others. Thank HP it's working.

Shut up and listen. Absolutely ... most of the time. AA meetings are to "discuss our problems related to alcoholism." Not to shut up if you have a problem. Not to chastize each other for having a problem or for not doing the program "right", but to share AA solutions.

Who knows what someone needs to hear until that someone blurts it out?

I have yet to be in a meeting where someone crying was told to shut up. I've seen people pay more attention and share ES&H properly. I HAVE seen a chair or leader suggest that the person come forward after the meeting for more personal, specified help.

Solution: If you're crying over a specific problem, a meeting isn't going to help you. It's obviously deeper and more important than 60 minutes in a crowd can deal with. Take it upon yourself to seek personalized help. Someone like your sponsor. That's what they're for.

Sponsor? DO NOT do self-surgery alone if you have such deep-seated problems. You need a steady hand and experienced advice to work your program. And DO NOT suffer longer than you need to. Get'er done!

Sorry ... that was rhetorical "you" which includes ME. Generic. I just realized I wasn't first-personing it and I'm too lazy to retype it. :wink:

Sponsors are important to help boil all of my "reasoning" back down to the simplicity of the program. It's up to me to personalize, internalize the results.

Looking forward to more of this topic. I'm lovin' the diversity. It's good for me to consider it all and let HP sort it out. And I do consider everything y'all say. Nothing is taken lightly in THIS alcoholic's head.

Thanks, y'all for helping me stay sober today.

Love y'all,
Tim1

PS: I'M HOT!!!! SO hot my wife won't kiss me. "DON'T TOUCH ME, you sticky ......" We can't even pet the stinkin' dog! :cry:
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Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:10 am

Dallas wrote:
Susan68 wrote:Oh, and I read your other post where you suggest that anyone with less than a year sobriety should shut up.


Hi Susan! You need to send me a link to that post... if I wrote that as my suggestion... I need to correct it! That isn't my idea or suggestion.

Also, I never tell anyone to shut up... unless I'm mad and ready to fight! :lol: :lol:

I can't afford to get mad... I didn't say... "I don't get mad"... just, I can't afford to get mad! :wink:

Can you imagine what would have happened if Bill W. waited for a year of sobriety to talk to Dr. Bob? None of us would be here! Bill knew he was going to drink as he stood in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel, in Akron... and he knew that the only way he would have a defense against that next first drink... was to find another alcoholic to talk to and try to help them! :wink:

Perhaps, you got me mixed up with someone else??? Or... maybe I wasn't clear in what I wrote and I need to correct it.

Dallas


I probably read it the wrong way. Or maybe it was someone else's post.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:26 am

Well... thanks for giving me credit for it! :lol:

Maybe... someone will give me credit for a best-seller some day... that I didn't write... but I can get paid for it! :lol:

And, if you discover that I did write it... PLEASE let me know where it is so I can fix it! I have already used up all my allowable mistakes in this life... and I'm really walking on some thin ice! :wink:

I'm hoping and praying that God is busy helping someone else -- so that He'll kind of forget about me for a little while! :lol:
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Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:42 am

Dallas wrote:Well... thanks for giving me credit for it! :lol:

Maybe... someone will give me credit for a best-seller some day... that I didn't write... but I can get paid for it! :lol:

And, if you discover that I did write it... PLEASE let me know where it is so I can fix it! I have already used up all my allowable mistakes in this life... and I'm really walking on some thin ice! :wink:

I'm hoping and praying that God is busy helping someone else -- so that He'll kind of forget about me for a little while! :lol:


Hmm, I apologize, I think I may be having a "senior" moment. . . Maybe a "live" AA person said it and I ascribed it to you for some reason. :oops:
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Postby tim-one » Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:45 am

HAHAHahahahahaha ... As others have pointed out, several of our topics, especially resentments and forgiveness, seem to be "hot topics around here". :lol: DUH ! :lol:

They are hot topics everywhere I go. Ya know, it's almost impossible for me to hear everything said in a meeting. Before I can stop it, one sentence sends my mind off on it's own blithering tyrades. That's why I like discussing stuff here.

Not only gives me an oportunity to consider what I say before I blurt. It also gives me an oportunity to redirect my brain from whatever trip its on to finish reading the whole thing in context .... TIM. :roll: Practice, practice, practice ... I'll get it one o'these days.


BUT, the main thing I try to keep in mind is that I KNOW from experience here that WHATEVER you say is said in love meaning me well. Right? :shock: (That's ok. I forgive you.) :wink:

I have to remember that whatever I say, you can't see my leprechaun grin and elven twinkle in my eye. And I can't hug ya when I'm done.

I really mean it when I say:

Love,
Tim1

PS: And don't look at me in THAT tone of voice! :? :lol:
There just ain't enough emoticons for mood-swing-guy here. :P
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Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:21 am

Dallas, I am laughing heartily at your response. :lol: :lol: :lol:

When I said "live" person I meant a person in one of my meetings, as opposed to a cyberfriend, whose words I do not hear "live" but rather read off the screen on a delay.

I'm glad to see you are able to quote me so readily from posts previous. And I detect just a teensy hint o' sarcasm in there, but that's perfect. :wink: :wink: :wink:
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Postby JayWalker » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:27 am

Don't let it go to your head Dallas.

We know the truth. It's your dog that's Carrying the Message. You've been dead for a long time now. He's just trying to make us believe that stuff on page 164! None of us are ever going to meet you again.

I had to stop in to a Discussion Meeting and pick up a newcomer to take him for a talk.

There was another newcomer at the podium. Maybe 20 days sober, in his mid twenties. He was telling about how great sober is. He already got his life, wife, girlfriend, car, boat, and business back. He said he grew up next door to Bill Wilson in New York and Bill was the one that told him how it works.

I told my newcomer that yeah, you are in the right place listening to guys like that!

JayWalker
Chapter 3, More about alcoholism.
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Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:52 am

See, when I first surfed in here, Dallas was really nice to me. That seems to be ovah'.

:(
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Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:53 am

I should leave and come back in with a different screen name; then he'll go back to being nice to me. :)
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:36 pm

Just as long as you don't leave and come back with a new story! That can get expensive! I know. I did that one and nearly died my ninth death. And, I'm not worth enough for anyone to leave and come back with a new story just for me.


Besides, I'm sure that God still loves you!

God loves all those that are willing to cause me pain.

Just keep Him busy so He'll not start looking for me... and I'll do anything for you! That might even convince me to pretend that I like you again! :wink:

Dallas
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Define "getting rid of resentments"