Here's MY take on forgiveness. A lot of it is probly reiteration of what I said before. Trying to be consolodate it. (Good luck, Tim1, the way-verbose-alcoholic.
Forgiveness is SO important to humility, understanding, tolerance, and spiritual fitness.
True forgiveness is understanding that "they may be sick people" like us. Understanding that, if I don't have control of my "sins", neither do they.
"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If I can't forgive them, how can I expect forgiveness?
Holding onto grudges, resentments had become a (in)security blanket for me. They DESERVE the misery it gives me. I ain't letting go of it. It's MINE, dammit!
On some, I had to keep forgiving until it was my heart. I'd forgive and then find myself boiling up in the car over it. UNFORGIVEN. Do it again. And again trying to step 4 my fanny each time REALizng that my selfish expectations were too high ... child or not.
(so much for brevity, huh ?)
Turned out that, even though I may have prevented myself from acting like them, it was in me ... just stiffled.
By working this program diligently and staying in constant, deep contact with HP, I practiced forgiveness until it got real in me. Just had to keep an open mind and heart having looser grip on my security blanket each time.
Keep pounding it out with serenity for you and grace for others. Thank HP it's working.
Shut up and listen. Absolutely ... most of the time. AA meetings are to "discuss our problems related to alcoholism." Not to shut up if you have a problem. Not to chastize each other for having a problem or for not doing the program "right", but to share AA solutions.
Who knows what someone needs to hear until that someone blurts it out?
I have yet to be in a meeting where someone crying was told to shut up. I've seen people pay more attention and share ES&H properly. I HAVE seen a chair or leader suggest that the person come forward after the meeting for more personal, specified help.
Solution: If you're crying over a specific problem, a meeting isn't going to help you. It's obviously deeper and more important than 60 minutes in a crowd can deal with. Take it upon yourself to seek personalized help. Someone like your sponsor. That's what they're for.
Sponsor? DO NOT do self-surgery alone if you have such deep-seated problems. You need a steady hand and experienced advice to work your program. And DO NOT suffer longer than you need to. Get'er done!
Sorry ... that was rhetorical "you" which includes ME. Generic. I just realized I wasn't first-personing it and I'm too lazy to retype it.
Sponsors are important to help boil all of my "reasoning" back down to the simplicity of the program. It's up to me to personalize, internalize the results.
Looking forward to more of this topic. I'm lovin' the diversity. It's good for me to consider it all and let HP sort it out. And I do consider everything y'all say. Nothing is taken lightly in THIS alcoholic's head.
Thanks, y'all for helping me stay sober today.
Love y'all,
Tim1
PS: I'M HOT!!!! SO hot my wife won't kiss me. "DON'T TOUCH ME, you sticky ......" We can't even pet the stinkin' dog!
(That's ok. I forgive you.) 
