- How do I know if I have a problem with alcohol?

How do I know if I have a problem with alcohol?




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby tim-one » Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:44 am

Alicia,

That's a VERY good question. One most of us had to come to terms with SEVERAL times of doubt.

As Ms. Pickle said, the AA book chapter 3, "More about alcoholism" talks all about that question. I'll add chapter 2, "There is a solution". VERY helpful distinctions made there.

(pssst ... sshhhh ... don't tell anybody ... if you go to a meeting and raise your hand when they ask, "Is anyone visiting their very first AA meeting anywhere?", just say your name and that you're just wondering. You're likely to get a free AA book.) 8)

I found it helpful to read it replacing the words we, he/her with I and see if it sounds familiar to YOU.

The AA book is so comprehensive and simple that I thought it was written about ME. Really. It's all about ME. :wink:

I had to do what is nearly impossible for an alcoholic to do while drinking - I had to be brutally honest with myself. Not to talk myself into it blindly, but also not to rationalize my way out of it. If I caught myself explaining to myself why I don't fit that statement, I was lying. I went with my initial gut feeling instead. You, know, the hair on the back of my neck, face-flush, tummy flutters .. the things that happened when mom caught me with a magazine. :P

Young people have a wonderful opportunity to avoid the pitfalls at an early age that we disdain in old folks. (At 56, I say "we" because I never grew up. And now I blame alcoholism for stunting my maturity.) I said, "I'm not going to be like that, so I'm going to do things different, disregarding experienced advice. Woops. Turns out those old folks said the same thing young and got the same results anyway. DOH!!!!! :shock:

Please pay attention to yourself young. You have a chance to avoid all the crap you see around you, to nip it in the bud. Difficult young. Not impossible!

When I came in, I was in a desperate state. IT was OBVIOUS that booze was the problem. So, knowing what I know now from reading the AA book, I went back all the way through my drinkng career to see how it started and progressed. I'll share what I found out about myself. Pretty much just what you will read in the book:

1. My dad was a flamin' alkie. A warning sign I ignored deciding not to "be like him".

2. As a teen, I did the teen thing, get drunk and do outrageous things. Warning: Drinking to get drunk on purpose.

3. Happy hour also called "Attitude Adjustment Hour". Warning: Drinking to change moods. Feel bad - drown my sorrows. Feel good - celebrate.

4. Drinking socially, but more than most others - Warning: abnormal normal drinking.

5. When my drinkin' buddies said I drink too much or get stoopid (usually laughing over last night's foibles) - Warning: Huh? :idea: My drunk buddies think I'm a drunk????

6. Drinking alone - Warning: Drinking for NO reason, just to drink.

7. Drinking to "tie one on" - Warning: Reverting to teenage. Akin to bingeing.

8. Drinking before and during work - Warning: Incorporating drinking into functional life.

9. Drinking all day, every day - DOH!

Once one has the knowledge that alcoholism, like most diseases is progressive, he can start watching for what stage of the disease he might be in. NOBODY knew they were alcoholic at their first drink in life. I was quite happy and actually excelled in some areas for a couple of decades of drinking alcoholically. But things progressively, under my nose onmy back, were gradually unravelling unnoticed.

Alcoholics are alcoholic at their first drink. The symptoms just aren't recognizeable ... YET.

Frankly, if you are wondering ... normal drinkers usually have no reason to wonder. (If you just put yourself in the "usual" category, keep wondering. That's another subtle alcoholic lie, "I'm the exception to the rule". It's a good idea to fully research it and recognize where you are on the line of progression, if you are on the line.

Aw, geez, I went off again. Sorry to say too much. You're probly like Charlie Brown when the growed-ups talk now ... "Waah wawah waah wah wah ..." :lol:

It was a good exercize for me to remember so I never forget and start wondering again. :roll:

Good luck, girl. I hope you're not an alcoholic. But, then again, I've found it to be a wonderful oportunity to finally become the man I was always intendd to be at this late age. Never too late. Never too early. It's always the right time to live a better life!

Love,
Tim1
tim-one
 
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Postby tim-one » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:33 am

Wow, what timing! One of those little HP things I'm getting used to.

A brother sends me am email evry day with "today's readings". This just hit my inbox and is eerily appropriate timing. (You're spooky sometimes, Lord. :wink: )

A.A. Thought For The Day

We had become hopelessly sick people; spiritually, emotionally,
and physically. The power that controlled us was greater than
ourselves--it was John Barleycorn. Many drinkers have said: "I
hadn't gone that far; I hadn't lost my job on account of drink; I
still had my family; I managed to keep out of jail. True, I took too
much sometimes and I guess I managed to make quite an a$$ of
myself when I did, but I still thought I could control my drinking. I
didn't really believe that I was an alcoholic." If I was one of these,
have I fully changed my mind?

Meditation For The Day

Painful as the present time may be; you will one day see the reason
for it. You will see that it was not only testing, but also a
preparation for the life-work which you are to do. Have faith that
your prayers and aspirations will someday be answered.
Answered in a way that perhaps seems painful to you but is the only
right way. Selfishness and pride often make us want things that
are not good for us. They need to be burned out of our natures.
We must be rid of the blocks which are holding us back, before we
can expect our prayers to be answered.

Love,
Tim1
tim-one
 
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Postby Alicia » Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:56 am

I went to work yesterday and when I got to work I was sent home for 3 days. i Did not drink before work and i got acused of drinking! Said I smelled like alkahol. I got so mad i need this job. I got home and the book that you send Dallas was there. Wow that was fast and I red some parts that you said to read and i read the questions and I passed the test. Teh test said I was alcolaholic.

I was mostly convinced that maybe Im alcoholic. I did not drink yesterday but then a freind came late and we went to the lake and I got bombd. I was able to go all day without drinking though. I feel sick today. I looked at the test again and was going to call the number you sent me but I had laundry to do.

I red the things above though and Dallas and Polly now I probably dont think Im that bad. May be i need to take the test again when I feel better. Three days off and rent is past due and they sade I will have to move. More problems now with job. My phone is not working and job sade they tried to call me and told my freind at work. I dont know what to do now. Im all mixed up. Thank you for the book and the test and the numbers and your kind ness.

Why did the guy here say I have a disease? I do not have any diseases. I thought may be I have a problem but not any diseases. That makes me sicker now. May be I have the flew. That is all I need now another problem a disease. I dont know it is so mixed up for me now.
Alicia
 
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Location: Oklahoma

Postby Tina L. » Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:34 pm

Hello Alicia, my name is Tina, and I'm an alcoholic.

We seem to have some things in common and I hope you will consider contacting me through Private Message as a new friend. What you say with me will remain confidential and I will not share it with anyone. I will also send you a Private Message with my telephone number and address. You can call me collect if you need to call collect. No problem with calling me collect because it will be good for me if you do!

I also believe that I can help you because we have so many things in common.

Please do not let some of the things that you read here in the forum disturb you or distract you.

You will read many things here that are simply the personal opinions of the person making the comments and many times the comments are from some place other than Alcoholics Anonymous. They will have nothing to do with A.A. or in finding out about alcoholism.

I understand about being mixed-up! I understand about wondering about how to tell if you have a problem with alcohol. I understand about getting your feelings hurt by friends that suggest that you may have a drinking problem. I understand about needing a job. I understand about losing a job. I lost my job and lost my apartment and ended up living in my car until my car was taken away. I had friends and we would go to the beach at night and get bombed!

I'll bet we have many more things in common too!

Dallas sent you a book? :wink: He sent me a book, too! :wink:

He also helped me find some women in Alcoholics Anonymous and a local Group of A.A. members that were able to help me. I would like to be able to return the favor, if you will allow me to help you! It will help me if I can help you.

Please keep coming back. We care about you.

Tina L.
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Postby tim-one » Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:55 pm

Alicia,

I was mostly convinced that maybe Im alcoholic. I did not drink yesterday but then a freind came late and we went to the lake and I got bombd. I was able to go all day without drinking though. I feel sick today. I looked at the test again and was going to call the number you sent me but I had laundry to do.


GOOD EFFORT ! Great that you tried so hard. Don't stop stopping. :wink:

Don't stop trying. It'll come if you don't give up and get some sober people around you. Fear not, for they are with you. They were right where you are and understand with all their hearts what you're going through.

I'm proud of you for wondering and actively gathering information about it. Right now you need personal care. Please get it for yourself. There's really nothing scary about it. It's only good.

It's just that first hurdle we can't see over ... that there really is solid ground on the other side.

You've got people you don't even know caring enough to help if you want it. Don't let laundry stop you from calling. It sounds from your story like it's that important to you.

Dallas and Tina,

Now THERE are SPONSOR HEARTS! Thank you so much for your care. You're my heros ! :!:

Love,
Tim1

PS: Six months today. WOOHOO !!!! Gimme a CHIP, DAMMIT! HP's gonna let me hold it for Him. It's His, ya know. I'm an undeniable miracle today! And I feel GREAT !
tim-one
 
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Postby Danni » Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:18 pm

Hi Alicia,

My name is Danni. It wasn’t too long ago that I found out that I had a drinking problem. I went to A.A. and got the help that I needed. At this point in time I would suggest that you not try to figure out if you are alcoholic or not. Right now you just want to hook up with someone like Tina, that understands you and that can help you.

Hey, I have a few things in common with you as well! For a short time I lived near Oklahoma and my job had me traveling all over Oklahoma. It is so pretty there and the people are wonderful. I wonder where you live in Oklahoma? I may have been there. I also have friends in Oklahoma that are in A.A. They are great people and I’m sure they would love to help you also if you desire their help.

I recently moved back to the beach here in Southern California, and that’s where I met the lady Tina, that wrote to you above! See, we have things in common! I met Tina at an A.A. meeting and she is a wonderful young woman that is helping many other young women with the problems that they shared with drinking. I’m sure you will love Tina just like I do!

I will also send you a message with my email address and telephone number. On one of the telephone numbers you can call me toll-free and the other number you can call me collect, unless you call my cell phone. You can reach me anytime day or night on my cell phone number or by email. You can also send me Private Messages here on the forum because I check and reply to those. I have many friends here that we communicate with each other through the Private Messages on the web site. If you send me an email or private message here it will go to my cell phone and I can reply to you quick.

I would also like to remind you and caution you of something that Tina mentioned above,

Tina L. wrote:“Please do not let some of the things that you read here in the forum disturb you or distract you.

You will read many things here that are simply the personal opinions of the person making the comments and many times the comments are from some place other than Alcoholics Anonymous. They will have nothing to do with A.A. or in finding out about alcoholism.“


This is unfortunate, but it is so true! I used to read the forum here often and participated in the forum when it was mostly about A.A. There were not so many “outside ideasâ€
Danni
 
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Postby angel143 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:40 pm

Alicia...I hope you are able to just take a day at a time and accept the help that is being offered to you. You have to accept that you are worth it. And know that people are not offering to help because they want anything from you, they want to help because they have been where you are...and sometimes worse...and they dont want you to get there. Trust in the ones who have experience.

I have 34 days today....and I can tell you...it isnt all nice smelling roses. It can be hard...but, the hard gets easier...and as you can accept things...and find a HP and work the steps...I can say from experience, even the little that I have....you will only get happier...and from what I have been told...it only gets better.

Please keep coming back. You can contact anyone on here, and they will happily reply and try to help.


I love everyone here....and I am thankful for everyone here.
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:11 pm

[b]The Topic is: “How do I know if I have a problem with Alcohol?â€
Last edited by Dallas on Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dallas
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Postby Alicia » Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:14 am

I sade I could follow instructions last nite so here Im doing it. To ladys came to see me and we went and get food and coffee and they had books like the 1 dallas sent me. Wr red books together and found Im alcoholic. I have not had a drink since last nite they taking me to a meeting in a coupla hours. Got to go get reddy. I feel sick but not going to drink I hope. I try. They sade to say hi Dallas thank you they know you.
Alicia
 
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Location: Oklahoma

Postby tim-one » Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:06 am

Way to go, Alicia!!

Courageous desire!

Got flesh & blood sober women around you telling you what you need to do with hands-on loving care.

If you keep doing that and what they tell you, I have no doubt you'll be ok. That's how it works.

You go, girl! You don't have to drink any more.

Love,
Tim1
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