Hi Alicia, pleasure to meet you.
I'm Julie and I'm an alcoholic. I've been in and out of AA since I was 24, but only have been sober 8 months now. It's been a long life hard life for me and I wish I'd have stuck to it from the beginning instead of taking, what I thought, was the easier, softer way.
I know that when I first came around I truly couldn't identify with people who had to drink in the morning, had DUI's, lost their homes, family, jobs, etc. Things weren't THAT bad for me.
I wish, instead of comparing how bad their drinking was compared to mine, that I would have tried to identify with their feelings. You see, when someone shares how thet felt throughout their life I can most certainly identify.
I never remember a time in my life when I felt comfortable in my own skin. I ALWAYS felt like the "outsider" in my family and within the circle of my friends. I never felt "good enough" or that I fit in anywhere. I lived with these feelings by drinking them away because it didn't hurt as much when I drank.
I am a very angry person and I can hold a grudge like no other.
I finally got tired of feeling like I felt and drinking just wasn't working for me anymore.
No one could figure out for me whether or not I was an alcoholic. In fact, folks were telling me I was before I decided I was and that just made me mad.
Slowly but surely I'm learning to live comfortably in my own skin without drinking.
Keep coming back,