How do I know if I have a problem with alcohol?

[Jools]

Hi Alicia, pleasure to meet you.

I'm Julie and I'm an alcoholic. I've been in and out of AA since I was 24, but only have been sober 8 months now. It's been a long life hard life for me and I wish I'd have stuck to it from the beginning instead of taking, what I thought, was the easier, softer way.

I know that when I first came around I truly couldn't identify with people who had to drink in the morning, had DUI's, lost their homes, family, jobs, etc. Things weren't THAT bad for me.

I wish, instead of comparing how bad their drinking was compared to mine, that I would have tried to identify with their feelings. You see, when someone shares how thet felt throughout their life I can most certainly identify.

I never remember a time in my life when I felt comfortable in my own skin. I ALWAYS felt like the "outsider" in my family and within the circle of my friends. I never felt "good enough" or that I fit in anywhere. I lived with these feelings by drinking them away because it didn't hurt as much when I drank.

I am a very angry person and I can hold a grudge like no other. I finally got tired of feeling like I felt and drinking just wasn't working for me anymore.

No one could figure out for me whether or not I was an alcoholic. In fact, folks were telling me I was before I decided I was and that just made me mad.

Slowly but surely I'm learning to live comfortably in my own skin without drinking.

Keep coming back,
Julie

[GeoffS]

To find if people be alcoholic of the type it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I suggest they try this: I got it from AA too.

try and stop.

Can you? Is it fun?

[Alicia]

Hi my name Alicia and Im alcoholic.

Busy day. AA ladys pick me up. Went to meeting. Ladys say now we all go to my job and talk to my boss. Explain to him my problem and that I now in AA. I was afraid he will fire me. Ladys say no to worry. If I do not stay sober I have no job no place to live just jail or death so no problem.

He gave me week off and going to pay me while Im off for this week if I keep go to AA and not drink. Whew!

Then we red book Alcoholics Anonymous all day and into nite. I one day sober now and have took step 1. 2. 3. Tomorow ladys will come and we will do more work on stesp.

I must go now and follow instructions. My name is Alicia. Im alcoholic.

Oh no more flew. I feel good not this good in every I remember it. I do not even want a drink. Weird. I always want a drink but no more today for today. I Wonder what happened to me. I feel happy but very tired.

[tim-one]

Hi my name Alicia and Im alcoholic.

Wow! Listen to the new Alicia!

I don't know about anyone else, but that statement sounds so cliche after a hearing everyone reiterate it hundreds of times each day.

What you just went through is a great reminder to me that the first time I said that, it was gut-wrenching resolve, total surrender.

Alicia, I'm so proud of you. Courage!

Busy day. AA ladys pick me up. Went to meeting. Ladys say now we all go to my job and talk to my boss. Explain to him my problem and that I now in AA. I was afraid he will fire me. Ladys say no to worry. If I do not stay sober I have no job no place to live just jail or death so no problem.

Somebody told me when I picked up my desire chip to get a little notebook and start writing things like that down every day. Told me the farther I get from D-Day and the better I feel, I will forget how bad-off I was and that things started getting better immediately.

"That which I greatly feared has NOT come upon me"! F.E.A.R - False Expectations Appearing Real.

Geez, girl, thanks for sharing your progress with us. Thanks for helping keep me sober today.

Love,
Tim1

PS:

Having a hobby of looking for subliminal messages in advertising, I can't help noticing stuff like this:

I Wonder what happened to me.

I thought it was cool that you accidentally capitalized "Wonder".

[Alicia]

good morning. Alicia, alcoholic. funny my initials ar aa. Mayb I was born for aa.
Im following instruction so here am I but for only to tell my small story of 24 hours only for one minute here. crazy crazy crazy nite. I prayed and metitaded like ladys show me then go to sleep. 3 clock freinds come bannging at my door Alicia lets go to lake and drink and smoke pot. I told them no Im Alicia Alcoholic i can not drink or smoke the pot. They tell me Im crazy. I only drink to much a few times. I tell them they not understand. Alcohol poison for me pot poison for me. Alergic to it and it will kill me. Plus I do not want drink. May be they like me and need aa to. I make them leave say never come back with drinks pot or anything like that if they my freinds. I go back to sleep. Have crazy crazy crazy dreams. Man in purpol shows up with alcoholics book in hand. He say something like I guy or hi guy or I guide something I did not understand. He is regular guy and not say god. May be say from God. I do not know. He says he here to help me and god here to help me to. I never have to worry God always be with me forever. He say god will guide me to right people and help for me. Then man disapers in purpol light. just gone like purpol dust in light. Then big white light come and shine over me and I not sure what I heard something like you my child i love you and take care of you no need to be afraid then light go away. I sleep like baby wake up and feel good. I look in mirror and see me like 10 years ago like getting younger or something. Ladys say to look for change I may not see it before they do. I saw it today. I never believed god was real til yesterday when ladys show me god is real and loves me and showed me god is in alcoholics book thats where I found him and know about him now. I give myself to God and I feel him in me. crazy crazy crazy. I dont want to drink. No desire to drink I just want sober for ever and ever and 2 know god so I will do the work. I must go. One minut over. Ladys come soon and we do the work today. I can not read here yet sorry Ladys say not yet someday after I finish reeding book and doing work. Bye. Alicia Alcoholic, AA.

[tim-one]

Wow, Alicia. Ain't that somethin?

SOMEBODY wants you sober!

Like I said, God's gotcha! Go ahead and jump. (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually speaking, of course )

Love,
Tim1

[Jools]

Wow, Alicia, thank you for sharing all of this with us. You've helped me a lot today, just helping me to know God is there for us.

Sounds like you have some great AA ladies working with you, that's totally awesome!

Keep up the good work!!

Hugs,
Julie

[Alicia]

Hi. My name is Alicia, sober alcoholic.

bad bad night. Had bad dream I drink again and lost sobriety. Got so bad. Started as little mistake. Freind gave drink and put alcohol in it. Wake up 3 in morning crying thought I was drunk and drinking. Called sponsor Ladys. One come to see me. was just a dream. We inventory. I did not pray before going to sleep. She said must pray day nite and before sleep and when wake up and during day. Be sure pray before going 2 sleep. She said Gods way letting me know its the little things i do that keep me sober do not forget little things they turn to big things and then we drink again. Said watch out for friends. Dreams can be warning signs. Dreams Gods way to get my attention 2 keep me on right path and get rid of garbage can not get rid of while awake. She also said check spelling. Tried to explain try to write fast because only 60 seconds to write have to move fast. time up. got to go. Still can not read here yet. Soon. Worked the work much yesterday. More work today. One sponsor lady read here and check on me to. Said spelling sucks no good. Get better. I will. I follow instructions. bye. Thank you. Alcia by Gods grace and Gods help through Alcoholics Anonymous Sober Alcoholic Today.

[DiggerinVA]

Alicia keep it up.
My spelling sucks so I use spell check. PM me I may be able to help you there. But yours is not bad enough for me to not be able to read through it. I get your message loud and clear. Yes remember the little things.

It all takes time.

Stan

[ccs]

Wow !!! Alicia you are A Beautiful Soul thank you so much for sharing your story and your Heart with us
reading what you write is so beautiful to me ,
like Stan said your spelling aint that bad cause I got your message of Love and Hope and Faith as clear as can be you keep working hard with the Ladys I cant wait to here from you again

GOD BLESS YOU

Your Sister in Sobriety Cessie