- Hi there. I am new

Hi there. I am new




Alcoholics and Addicts sharing their personal recovery story with us to help others who want to recover.

Hi there. I am new

Postby Memgal306 » Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:40 am

Hi there. I am Kim & I am an alcoholic. Laughing. Ok - here it goes...I was born in Wichita, Kansas. No toto jokes please. Moved to the Mphs area when I was 12. Grad. Collierville. Went to University of Tennessee in the 4 yr program. Grad w/ A BS in Social Work. Had several jobs. O yea BTW I have Cerebral Palsy...Bet/ 1988 - 1992 I would bar hop & come home to my parent's house drunk. Parents never knew. Hard to tell if I was slurrung my speech because of the CP or if I was drunk. Moved out on my own to East Mphs. Dated a few men. Moved downtown Mphs & got an awesome job w/ the city of Mphs as a Special Needs Hsg Coordinator. Got a scooter aka my car. This enabled me to the liquor store & get my own alcohol - look out world - here comes Kim! BRB - (I am cooking sausage for my omelet). ok - Back then it was light - Dirty Mother's & Screwdrivers - vodka & OJ & I would only drink at night after work. Well I moved to a nicer apt. Started dating a guy who turned out to be wanted for child spam. The drinking increased to all days on the weekends or the days I was off. BTW I walk w/ a walker in my apt. I was loving my apt. & my career...Well a man came into my life - Ben. Now I am or was the total.........independent caeer oriented woman. Well Ben literally swept me off my feet. Asked me to marry him. After several debates about his lousy financial situation and his ex wife, I said yes. Needless to say, my parents/friends were not too happy. We got married Feb 23, 2007 & moved to a 2 brm apt in the same bldg. It had a beautiful of the river & dt Memphis. We settled in. We did have the normal rollercoaster & of course my drinking did not help. By this time I was to the point of drinking a 1/2 gal vodka in 4 days. Ben was 54 & had serious health problems. I knew this before we married. Well on April 11, 2008 he went in the hospital for a liver transplant. I remember right before we left the apt I had to have 2 drinks to calm my nerves. Something did not feel right. 3 days later he was dead. I went DOWNHILL without a sled or skis, just my walker. LOL I took time off from work & got into this rut of drinking & sleeping. I would just miss work, esp on Mondays (as my freaking boss would love to point out!) I was drinking before work. I would come home at noon & drink. I had to move from my 2 bdrm apt to a 1 brm apt. I would drink myself to sleep so many times. In the next year I was in & out of rehab 4 times. I finally said ### it & quit my well paying job with a pension. I would fall down & not be able to get up so I would call 911. THe last time I called 911 they took me to Methodist Hospital. My dad came & took my ass to Collierville. It was hell. I did attend AA meetings that I actually liked. I came home & drank for 1 week. Part of my trouble is rebellion against my parents. About 4 weeks ago (I hate counting the days, I just try to make the days count) I went to my counselor who I have been going to for the past 5 years & he kicked my ass & I have been sober since. More later..........
Memgal306
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:57 pm
Location: Memphis, TN

Postby Dallas » Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:20 pm

Thank you Kim!!! Welcome to the forum and I love your story!!!

Your story... is like the stories I hear from an AA podium, where they fly in special A.A. speakers to speak at a convention of a few thousand A.A.'s!

I have a real boring story... so, I'd never make it as a big speaker! But, your's... keeps me laughing as I sadly and unfortunately identify with you! I can just see you now in that little scooter heading to and from the liquor store! Or... heading back to the office! :lol:

You know, come to think of it... if I had a scooter... they might never have arrested me for walking while drunk! :lol:

(I guess... that wouldn't be as bad as getting arrested for walking while sober, though! That would be really embarrasing with no excuses! ) :lol:

Hmmm. Juice for thought? :lol:

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Laughing - best medicine

Postby Memgal306 » Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:30 pm

I never did get a DUI on my scooter but I did have my share of wrecks on it due to my funky state at that time. :lol: I never have gone to jail because of it either. Although I have lost a job to it. O what webs we weave...
Memgal306
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:57 pm
Location: Memphis, TN

Postby Dallas » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:25 am

Gees, Kim... I feel kind of embarrased that no one else has welcomed you to the site! Hmmm... makes me wonder... what happened to them over the weekend?
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby angel143 » Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:20 am

Welcome Kim...and I apologize for not welcoming you sooner....I have no excuse.

Im glad you are here. And im glad that you still have your sense of humor. Im usually only funny inside my head. :wink:

Keep writing, I like hearing from you.

We are all here for you, if you need to ever just vent or wanna chat...just PM me!

Love ya
Heather
angel143
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:46 pm
Location: Mesa, AZ

Venting

Postby Memgal306 » Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:57 pm

Thanks Heather. :D

I am still pondering step 4. Why in the hell would I want to explore my f@#$%* up past and write about it? I read what Dallas wrote about it.

8)

Also I am sick of hearing about HUMILITY. URGH! :x

Below are questions my sponsor gave me to answer - as you can read - the first one is from STEP 7??? I just wanted to share the craziest.

1. What is the difference between being humble and humiliated?To be humble is to be not proud and to express in a spirit of submission or deference; not arrogant or assertive. Humiliation is to be reduced to a lower position in one’s eyes or others eyes. It is the quality or state of being humble, extremely destructive to one’s self-respect or dignity. Humiliation is embarrassment. I am very humble now. To me, I am humble because I have hit rock bottom (being kidnap to Collierville). Humble is to know I have done wrong & I do not want to go back there again. Humiliation is having my ass dragged out of here on a stretcher more times than I can count. Humiliation is to go to rehab 4 times and to know it did not work. Humiliation is having my parents catch me drinking for the fiftieth time or so. Humiliation is me going to work tipsy & having a confrontation about it with my boss. I am really tired of the humiliation. Now I accept to be humble. I accept I have a disease of alcoholism.

2. Have you decided what it will look like to turn your will and your lives over to the care of God as you understand Him?
Awesome & wonderful. I have a willingness not to drink.
I have a better belief in God and have a sense of duty with prayer. I want to pray and I need to talk to God. Sometimes my husband puts in his two cents. I am & can do more stuff that is worthwhile like reading, cooking & chores. I am not afraid of falling & not being able to get up. I am not afraid of people esp my parents finding my sash of alcohol. I am saving money without buying vodka. I am able to relax more. I am able to read & to watch tv until 2 am w/o falling asleep…..I do feel much better. I am not afraid to take a shower because I know the chances of me falling are 0%. Not drinking is liberating…..it is freedom.

3. What was you troubles that disturbed you to the point you just said" ### it" and got drunk?I really did not need an excuse. I just drank. The main triggers were the frustration w/ my job and my parents. On the weekends, I drank to sleep. It was a habit. I drank it like I am drinking mountain dew now – all the time regardless. My rarents treat me like I am 12 yrs old. Now with my job….it was so overwhelming because my workload was piling up. There was a woman right outside my office door that did nothing except talk on the phone. I just got tired of it all. I do not know if I would’ve quit if I was drinking or not otherwise.

4. The details of what you did are not important rather what was the thought process. Were you sad , happy , lonely etc. It was a habit. The thought process was “I have it so I will drink.â€
Memgal306
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:57 pm
Location: Memphis, TN

Postby Jools » Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:25 pm

Hiya Kim and a big warm welcome to ya!!!

I've been busy this weekend helping my son get moved into a place of his own. (thank GOD) :wink: .

Anyway, glad you're here with us and I'm looking forward to hearing more about your sobriety.

KCB,
Julie
Jools
 
Posts: 267
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:50 am
Location: Wilmington NC

Postby GeoffS » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:56 am

Hi kim,

good to hear from you.

hope you enjoy being here.

Geoff
GeoffS
 
Posts: 365
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Location: Australia

Postby Danni » Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:05 pm

Hello Kim and another welcome to you!

KCB and I hope you are doing well.

Danni
Danni
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:35 am
Location: Santa Monica

Postby ccs » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:48 am

Hello again KIM :D
its nice to see that you decided to start posting instead of just reading
I hope you will continue to do both

Thank you for sharing your story with us :wink:

LUV from your S.I.S.
ccs
 
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:44 am
Location: Tampa Bay Area Fla.


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