How to stay sober

Share your sobriety jokes and humor here
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Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:34 am

How to stay sober

Postby Tim » Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:08 pm

One of my favorite pieces of humor is about the AA old-timer and the newcomer:

A long-timer in sobriety is approached after an AA meeting by a guy fresh from the ravages of alcoholism, who asks him, 'How did you manage to stay sober for so many years?' The man ponders the question, then his face brightens as he replies, "I never drink and I never argue with anyone."

"That's impossible,' barked the newcomer. 'Why that is the stupidest, most simplistic, nonsensical thing I've heard!"

After a long silence, the man smiled gently at the newcomer and said in a calm, even voice: "You may be right."

Rusty Zipper
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm


Postby Rusty Zipper » Wed Aug 10, 2005 1:25 am

hey Tim, been kinda busy. was just parooooooooooooooooooooooooooz'n the site. saw you had recently joined Step12. just wanted to say Hoooooooooooooooowdy . hey Tim. i'm a big fan of not being "Glum" liked your joke. Tim check this one out. a little step 4 humor. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves... and when we cant do that... go take someone else's... Tim welcome, and keep comming back "KCB" good wishes Tim... Rusty :lol:

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Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:50 pm

Postby Woodstock » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:32 am

Picked this up along the way:

A lady had been in treatment several times and had attended A.A. meetings, but couldn't manage to stay sober. One day, her sponsor phoned her and asked how she was doing. Hesitantly, she replied, "Well, I'm drinking, but I'm only doing it one day at a time!"


Site Admin
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Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:37 pm

That's kind of like the newcomer,
when asked "Hey! How you doing?
How long you been sober now?"

He replied, "Well, today I would have had 90 days...
but I drank yesterday,
so I guess I've only got 89!"


Just don't leave!


Posts: 178
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:11 am

new to the site

Postby musicmode » Mon Nov 21, 2005 8:34 am

Hi-dee ho all. My name is Anne and I am an alcoholic...tried, tested and true. I just discovered the site, and the humor~~laughter...the best medicine, and I have been lacking in the humor department lately. If there is one thing I can say that is postive about myself, and--I'm grateful for it, and that is my sense of's kind-a dry, and there are those who aren't toooo sure how to take me sometimes (and yes...I realize--I painted myself into a corner with those words :oops: ), but there was a time when not a whole lot was funny. I'm grateful that life doesn't have to be like that today. Thanks for the fun stuff gang.

Rusty Zipper
Posts: 371
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm

Postby Rusty Zipper » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:06 am

morn Anne, glad you found your way here. and yep, yuk it up funny lady! ### of course not at the expence of others. watch da Sarcasim. my prob. #### Anne, go check out Tradition 4 in da 12 & 12, 2nd ta last para. it my theme song :lol: herd this one the other day, not shure of the spelling,or if it realy means what he say. " Illigitimous, Nontatium, Carborundhum " = " Dont Let The Bastard's Where You Down " remember the perscription for Selfisitius? kcb, and good wishes, xo PC :wink:

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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am

Postby tim-one » Fri May 08, 2009 10:52 am

Hey, Anne! It's good you're here. I'm new to this thing, too, and I really appreciate this forum.

If the dictionary is right, "sober" means grave, serious, not given to frivolity, stolid ... Shoot, I was pretty darn sober when I was drinkin'.

I'm enjoying life for the first time in 20 years. And laughter IS the best medicine! And my Higher Power laughs a lot. I can tell. I'm made in His image. We belly roll together every day. I'm the comedy of errors.

"Don't take yourself so dam serial." (or somethin' like that) I was serious, but now I'm a riot! :-)

Bring on that dry humor !

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