Well How-do!
Congratulations fluffy angel little cream-filled star twinkie that goes to meetings. I'm glad you got here to 60 days.
Let me tell you what about today. Well it was actually about yesterday now, but I'll still tell you what!
My son gets to buggin' me about having me use the pickup to haul some furniture for him on Friday after a meeting. Now I only have so many hours left in a day after work, and you know Friday night I will always spend some time with the girl. We already went to a meeting that night and it was getting late. So I let the boy use the truck, and told him good luck with it and don't call me anymore tonight. If you break it - you bought it. So he drops me off at the girl's place.
Then he starts calling back giving me a play-by-play, and he's afraid of my truck, and his boss is helping him with his truck, and his boss will drive my truck back to me, then his boss has an emergency, and can I come and get the truck, and he'll pay for a cab. Wow! This ain't so simple anymore and I get a bit upset because I didn't want what was left of my Friday all hosed up, so I told the son to chill out and I'll get the truck whenever - I was pretty abrupt and ended the call quick. Like I really need to think about which one is more important, the girl or my truck?
Well the girl get's to calculating and talking to me while I'm on the phone, and she says "We have tomorrow." And she's saying go on and help my son out tonight. My eyes get all bugged and I almost shout "I might be dead tomorrow! We don't have tomorrow, we only have what's left of tonight!"
There are so many times when I talk with her, and her fears of committments and the future together get her mind grinding on way ahead - then she gets scared of the future. So many times I say Whoa! I can only love you, or be in love with you today. You can think ahead this or that, but the only thing I have with you is today. I love you today, and I'm in love with you today. Anytime other than today belongs to hope. I do hope for things in the future, but I can't plan on them happening because there are too many "todays" in between where things can change. This usually calms her down and stops her worrying. I always try to keep things in the moment.
But on Friday, she seemed surprised. See we weren't talking about "the future" and "us" or "committments". I'm going back and forth with my son on the phone, and I'm in a dog-fight over today, and by God, today was all I had and that boy was not gonna squeeze another minute from me. She looked at me in surprise and realized that I was serious and upset that my son was trying to "steal" my living moments - the time I was spending with her. She got that look like "he's REALLY SERIOUS about this one-day-at-a-time stuff". And buddy let me tell you what - I AM!
After I get off the phone, I say "OK sweetie. I didn't mean to cut you off about tomorrow, tell me what you were hoping for tomorrow?"
Then she goes on and says we can get together early tomorrow and make a day and night of it, and essentially have a fine romantic time together over the weekend, and that she was tired tonight anyhow. I smiled and told her that I love her ideas about tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to being with her tomorrow. Then these words come rolling off my tongue.
"It's more important for me to share every minute with you tonight even if we don't [share romance]. My time with you today is more important than tomorrow."
I meant those words. I never want to trade today for tomorrow, and I'm willing to step up to the plate to defend today.
I asked the lady-friend what would she do if tomorrow never came. She said a few things, like helping out others. I said then lets do it. But I knew she was too tired and not feeling well to do anything else. So we talked a little bit longer until she couldn't hold her eyes open, and I went on home. No candlelight - no romance. But I went to bed thanking God for today, and I knew I made the best of it even though it didn't turn out the way I would have wanted it. That is until abot 4 AM...
My back door slams and wakes me up, and I hear those dogs pitter-patter, pitter-patter but no barking. I know who's there (she has the key to my house).
She walks into my room and plops her night sack on my dresser and says "Hey you?"
Dang if TODAY wasn't over yet!
So Angel, now you got another lil' story from this ol' story-telling rambler - a slice of time that happened to me over the weekend.
From the bottom of my heart Angel, today is my biggest treasure. It's the only way life works for me. Tomorrow is never certain, but what I've learned is that if I live today like it's my last day, then if tomorrow comes or never comes, I'm at peace with whatever lies ahead.
Most of the time, like this weekend, tomorrow wakes me up with a very pleasant surprise. Sure enough, it was much better than what either of us hoped for.
Congratulations on your 60 days. Quite an accomplishment, and I'm proud of you, too.
I also hope your tomorrow's turn out better than you hope for.
God bless,
Paul
