Kathy, Mr BB, Jr, my on line family. good evening to you, and to anyone looking in. Dallas, you said you put your nickels worth in. Dallas, your nickel to me is worth a million bucks. Granny9! ... Hell, yep, been there and back more than a few. all my life i faught! i faught religion, others, myself. ect. when i was about 16, i wanted to seek the answers to my exsitance. i did really look, peacefull nights looking at the stars. the ripples of the ocean, and the crashing of them against the rocks, the beauty of the trees, the moon, ... the smileing faces. the rinkles on the old wise ones, and even the frowns... i also saw all the injustice, people killing, dying, the natural disaster, and the man made one i looked. read some great books. was head'n on the road to Happy Destiny. the problem me!!! i was very fearfull, fearfull to take a look harder. fear of the unknown, maybe, alcoholic in thinking? prob. afraid of growing up? yep. lack of maturity. i wanted to escape, to run. i took the easy way. booze, drugs, pleasure, thrills, and some spills. lol
sorry, i'm realy trying to be serious.... it took 48 years of my life to crawl back from my hell. religion, or not.... i wouldn't have it anyother way. mater of fact, i cant. my past is mine, no one elses. after reaching so far in my soul, and yes, i have a soul. never knew it. what else could have brought me from near death? to a life beyond my wildest dreams. acceptance that i'm a alk'y, addmitting it. taking responsibilities. being available, to others, and myself ### too recv. bud
#### when i screw up, can handle it, when people, places, things get me nerved up. can handle it. deaths, just had three more today. grand total 24 in recovery. ... i'm not looking for sympathy, just showing that because of The Power That Be! and my faith, befief, and trust! ... my spirit. be it in me, or wherever. i dont have to use over "Anything" illness, be it another, or myself. i learned how to pray rightly. i can ask for wellness, if it be thy will. the Spirit is my inner piece, the tranquility, that i looked for, and thought i found thru drugs, and booze... maturity, that whats a big part of my new life. enjoying all the happiness, dealing thru rough ones " Pain is the Touchstone to Spiritual Growth. yes it can be!... one more thing, the Spitual axiom. sometime people, and my self are just plain ass's. whats wrong with me???... as my good buddy, Wayne C say's, " More will be Revealed" if you seek it.! ... thanks for letting me share. all my love, and good wishes to all. xxxooo Patrick... ps JR i almost forgot what, and how much you bring into my life. a special thak you too you.