Questions and Answers about A.A.'s 12 Steps

[Dallas]

Having problems with starting to write for 4th Step -- do you have a suggestion that might help me?

Or...

I'm about to explode!

I can't handle it!

Can you help me?




Questions that may help to relieve pressure....
And, also help someone start writing in preparation for the 4th Step

Seven of the questions below, were given to me by Clancy I., a few years ago, and the idea with his Seven Questions... are to help someone to get into writing in preparation for their 4th Step. They are NOT intended to replace the 4th Step. (There is a post here in this forum, with Clancy's original Seven Questions, if you'd like to check out the originals).

I’ve used the questions with numerous newcomers to help relieve some of the emotional pressures that some of us arrive with, that can often lead us back to a drink before we get through the 4th Step.... if we don’t vent some of the stuff that’s really got us down.

The results were positive. [u]I’ve also used the Seven Questions with some Old-timers, who had strayed over to the “jumping off placeâ€

[Dallas]

I'm having trouble with my Fourth Step.
Can you help me?

Yes!


I believe that most people have trouble with the Fourth Step, because they've never taken one before! It's like learning to ride a bicycle. If you see someone else ride a bike -- it will help you learn to ride a bike!

Another reason that I believe many people have trouble with the 4th Step -- is because, when you're trying to follow the example in the Big Book, you must read a few different pages and jump around in your Inventory to complete it.

Also, there is so much information floating around from people that come up with their own unique ideas on the 4th Step, that it can be really confusing if you've already read a bunch of literature on it!

For me, my life depended upon my sobriety -- and my sobriety depended on whether or not the AA Plan of Recovery could help me (the 12 Steps). So, when I took my12 Steps -- I knew that my life was on the line. I had to find relief and find a solution -- or I would drink again. And, for me -- to drink would be to die.

I couldn't afford to spend time listening to a bunch of ideas and suggestions from people -- that may have never even taken the 12 Steps as they are prescribed in the Big Book.

So, I turned to the book, Alcoholics Anonymous... the same book that had helped millions of alcoholics to recovery... and I tried to follow the instructions in that book, as precisely as I could follow them.

I've written and posted what I did and what I do, and if it will help you, I encourage you to check them out and/or use them. You can get the info here:
www.step12.com/step-4.html

If you download the information, be sure that you get all five downloads!

Best regards,

Dallas B.

Note: The downloads and information at: www.step12.com/step-4.html is the same information that I use when helping others take their 4th Step. It also includes the information that I've used to conduct 4th Step workshops... so, if you can use it... and help others ... pass it on!

If you're going to hold a 4th Step workshop in your area and you have questions... Contact me and I'll be happy to help you as much as I can.

[Dallas]

Why is it – that ALL -- A.A.’s
don’t agree on the 12 Steps


And why don't they all agree on how the 12 Steps
are to be taken?



The short answer is: I don’t know the specific reasons that ALL people do not agree on anything – even A.A.’s.

A summary answer: I know many A.A.’s that are in precise agreement on how the 12 Steps are to be taken – and I know many A.A.’s that disagree with those A.A.’s that agree with each other on how the 12 Steps are to be taken.

The really long answer:

Often, one of the comments that I’ll here is: “A.A. and the 12 Steps is not a one-size that fits all.â€

[Danni]

These are great Dallas. I'll print them and keep them.
Keep them coming!

Danni

[robbiechaos]

I used the these questions to prep for my forth step and they helped me tremendously.

Thanks

[rkdian34]

What does Powerless over alcohol mean?

Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

If today I have a choice I am no longer powerless; today I have a choice because I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless disease

[Dallas]

If you're no longer powerless over alcohol, and you have a choice, (of course, you didn't mention "choice over what other choices?")... perhaps you're no longer alcoholic. And, if you're no longer alcoholic -- are you enjoying a nice drinkie poo right now?

If I was no longer alcoholic -- I'd enjoy pouring myself another drink!

For me, yes, I'll always have a choice. That's part of what makes me human and alcoholic. God isn't going to keep my arm from bending if I decide to have a drink.

Today, even with God's help... I'm still as powerless over alcohol... as I was when I had my last drink on Nov. 14th 1986.

Naturally, I'm not recommending that you drink... anymore than I recommend me, or any other alcoholic to have a drink.

God gave me the 12 Step Power-Tools... so that, if I continue to use them... I can "choose" to do the work necessary so that I don't have to take a drink.

If I unplug myself from the Tools... I'm screwed. No doubt about it.

I used to think that I was given life "One Day At A time"... until I discovered by observing others die around me... that Life isn't given one day at a time. Life is One Moment At A Time... One Heart Beat At A Time... and One Breath At A Time.

Recovered, for me... means that I am sober Right Now.... and doesn't mean that I'm sober tomorrow... because the rest of today is a mystery and all that I have is Right Now.

I don't live in fear of drinking this evening and I'm not afraid that I'll drink right now. But, I've known other alcoholics that were sober longer than I've been sober... and probably had a greater quality of sobriety than I have... that went back to drinking before their "Day At A Time" was over... and they died drinking. So, is it possible that I could be drinking later today??? You betcha! I'm no better at being an alcoholic than the new guy or girl that hasn't sobered up yet.

For me, "Powerless over alcohol" means that "I'm powerless over staying sober".

It doesn't mean that I'm "Powerless over taking the actions" that will keep me sober. And, "I have a choice"... to "continue taking the actions that keep me sober"... or, I'll automatically be drinking.... because I'm Powerless over staying sober... That, is what makes me alcoholic.

Dallas

[gunner48]

To me powerless means that if I decide to drink I can not tell you what I will do next. How many times did I say I will just have one and hours or days later I was wondering what the hay happened. Once I have one, life becomes a confused mess.
I am recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. Alcohol still will take me to places unknown.
My book said LACK OF POWER WAS our DILEMMA. PAGE 45 not lack of choice

In the prep for step 3 page 63 As we felt New Power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of his presence, we began to lose the fear of today, tomorrow and the hereafter. We were reborn.
Our liquor was but a SYMPTOM. So we had to get down to the causes and conditions. page 64
So if New Power has flown in I no longer suffer from a Lack Of Power, Liquor is no longer a factor for now I DO HAVE A CHOICE IF I DRINK or NOT. Today because of AA and my new found power I do not fear alcohol. I choose not to drink.
Peace and Love
Gunner

[rkdian34]

"Today, even with God's help... I'm still as powerless over alcohol... as I was when I had my last drink on Nov. 14th 1986."

I strongly suggest that you start from the forward of the basic text, and this time, follow the instructions. You should also fire your God and get one that is loving and all powerful.

I could care less when your dry date is. You are a newcomer to Alcoholics Anonymous and only spreading the disease. I completed my third step in 1971. I worked steps 4 through 11. Today I only practice 12.

Hopefully, you now have a new tool to help you in your search for sobriety.
It's called a resentment..LOL God Bless.

[rkdian34]

"My book said LACK OF POWER WAS our DILEMMA. PAGE 45 not lack of choice."

I have a choice because I have found a power source. "Apples and oranges"