Dallas wrote:I know a lot of alkies that tell me that God keeps them sober. And, I have no reason to not believe them.
I got really ticked off at God -- because He wouldn't keep me sober!
I tried and tried to get Him to do it for me... and, I then had resentments towards God... for making me work so hard to make progress and to keep my sobriety... when, for other people, He just gave it to them and keeps them sober, and all they had to do was say some prayers!
One day, I was at the jumping off place -- really tight -- couldn't make it any further -- I got on my knees begging God!
Now, I can't swear it was God, telling me this, or if it was my head saying it, and making me think it was God... but what I heard was:
"Get your ass up off the floor and go stick your fingers in the dirt and work for what you pray for! I gave you dirt. I gave you fingers. I gave you the ability to work. And, now... you want Me to do your job for you? Screw you! Get your ass out there and get to work if you want something! Don't be begging me for it!"
Ever since then -- it changed my attitude about God, and about praying for things, and about hoping that God is going to do something for me.
My job is to work for what I pray for. God's job is to be God.
Staying sober, for me -- is my job. Not God's job. I don't know what God is supposed to do. That would be like me -- thinking about what my sponsor does. I'm not God and I'm not my sponsor. So, I need to focus on what I'm to do and learn my job and do my job. God will take care of Himself regardless of what I think about God, or what I think God's job is.
It's First Things First, for me. I look for the next right action, hope I'm taking the next right action, and end up where I end up. If it doesn't work -- then, I pick myself up off the floor or off the curb -- and try something different. But, there is no need for me to keep trying to do something that doesn't work for me. So, I keep busy as I can!
Now, that may not apply to anyone else, I'm just reporting on "what it's like for me."
Dallas wrote:I got really ticked off at God -- because He wouldn't keep me sober!
Dallas wrote:Staying sober, for me -- is my job. Not God's job. I don't know what God is supposed to do ...
I know myself. Im happy my higher power is turning out to be all the things I aspire to be. And I never thought in my life I would be so happy to be wrong or corrected by others. Thank you all for helping me to growThere is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in Everlasting Ignorance-that principle contempt before investigation. pg568
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