- ........JUDGEMENTAL......LETTING GO......

........JUDGEMENTAL......LETTING GO......




Experiences along the way that bring us closer to our Higher Power

........JUDGEMENTAL......LETTING GO......

Postby ROBERT » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:26 am

Tonight I was at a meeting I rarley go to...the people."uggh"...as I left and was enjoying my moment of superiority!, it hit me like the paverbial ton of bricks,the thought was loud and clear- just who am I to stand in judgement of these folks-hell I won't take the time to get to know them!!!--- thats messed up--the hindsight thoughts, of my judgeing them, makes me feel uncomfortable,--what a waste of energy, spiritual energy--wow- I am a judgementalist, I don;t like it --"We will intuitivley know how to handle situations that used to baffle us"-I got some work to do :!: --ANY E/S/H--anyone?
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby ccs » Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:23 am

wow Robert you too I totally understand I too have this :oops: :(
come on you guys give us some E S & H
ccs
 
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:44 am
Location: Tampa Bay Area Fla.

Postby ROBERT » Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:59 am

OK.. the literature says---no one likes the leveling of our pride-searching out our true motivations--this I was unwilling to do or was unable to do until the steps and the principles to live by became "internalized"-on closer scrunity w/ the 10th step process-my desire to feel superior, wanting to control,and residue from my past (programing growing up)-are in play. At the time, and times I have chose to engage in this sort of thinking,I was not aware of the baggage, but boy is it there! Action, to get honest w/ myself, is so empowering- thanks to the discipline from the steps.As I work on this defect it will be vital that I treat these folks with respect, act into right thinking, be a part of , although their behavoir is not what I would choose, they certainly have the right to! This is a growing experience that I feel excited about, another freedom will emerge, and as I make effort to get to know these folks, I may just find some really neat people, with knowedge I currently don't possess. I may never agree with the behavoir, but to let go of the chains that bind me, to be of maximum service, to experience true freedom is as the book calls-- True Ambition-I simply Love this program. :D
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby tim-one » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:15 am

"You can't save your face and your ass at the same time."

"Humility prevents humiliation."

I don't know which you're talking about. I have trouble with two groups.

One group I think is below my arrogant dignity. The other I think is too far above the humility I'm so proud of.

I reckon what I need to get ahold of is: What good am I to them? If humility is not thinking more highly of myself than I ought to think, it's also not thinking lower of anyone else cuz I don't know wher HP puts me on the scale. I assume by now that I'm likely the lowest one anywhere I go. And that's fine with me as long as I'm not dead or drunk.

If I wasn't here, I'd just be somewhere else. Wherever I go, there I am. And that's always zakly where HP put me. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Do good the good work there. Be HP's hand.

That's pretty much my step 12. Not good at it all the time if ever. That's HP's job to make good of it.

Just be there. Relax. Enjoy. And be amazed.

Well, that's just me. I don't want to miss out on any bit of life any more.

Love y'all,
Tim1

And I mean that. Not just cuz I'm better than you. :P
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby tim-one » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:27 am

PS:

Oh, yeah ... a lot of times it's just onaccounta I'm in an annoyable mood.

Why the mood? I turned my eyes and ears away from HP.

What am I annoyed at? I'd rather be somewhere else doing something else with people who like me. Selfish. Self-centered. Self-seeking.

"Resentment occurs when someone impedes my God-given right to be selfish." :oops:

BB pg 62 - "Selfishness - self-centeredness. That, we think, is the root of our troubles."

HP constantly reminds me that, when I judge ANYONE I see in AA context that, no matter if they are street-people or big-business executives, I'm no better or worse than any of them.

We're all there because we were powerless over alcohol - our lives had become unmanageable. And we have found a common solution.

Kinda levels the field, don't it?

I repent .... again. :cry:

:wink:

Love,
Tim1
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby ROBERT » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:08 pm

Right on tim-one, ya know I here what your writing :lol: the awarness I had of the issue is the real blessing, I won.t have to work so hard at trying to change anything--"trust the process"- still applies, thanks for your input-it is helpfull...adios 8)
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby Dallas » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:30 pm

There you go again, Robert! Writing things about me!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I appreciate you. And, I appreciate you, too, Cessie & Tim-One!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Tim » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:32 pm

There is a story about two long-timers in AA who regularly attended the same Saturday night meeting. Before each meeting one of the men would walk up to the other man and bad-mouth him. The other calmly listened, then took his seat for the start of the meeting.

The man's sponsee, new to AA and seeing this happen, asked why the other man verbally attacked him before every meeting. "I have no idea," replied his sponsor, "that's his problem."

AA's 12-step program helps me to focus on what's wrong with me and cleaning up my side of the street. This puts the damper on judgmentalism. It doesn't eliminate it, but keeps it under better control.

Judgmentalism is a human character flaw and is one of the main issues in the religion to which I belong as a card-carrying member. It's not the fault of the religious principles, but the people who distort them. AA has helped me with this in ways that church has not. God works in mysterious ways and is full of surprises.
Tim
 
Posts: 310
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:34 am

Postby ROBERT » Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:49 pm

Right-on, I feel pleased with my position on this one-and believe that as a culture this is common as we grow up seeing-hearing this attitude, today as I mature in my recovery from alcoholism,so much more, than I ever imagined, has happened, way beyond just putting down the booze--so many awakenings, as to the limitations that are in ME, that have kept me captive from freedom, happiness, joy--so I totally understand Tim, that is a great attitude/story, as I do move in that direction, slowly at times, but when my H.P. knows I'm ready to understand some more truth-BAM, there it is, then, as I am feeling now, I intuitivley know.......as if some one changed a chip in my brain---or some thing did,- oh hell my H.P.did alright.:lol:---luv this way of life :D
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby Dallas » Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:48 am

"Tonight I was at a meeting I rarley go to...the people."uggh"..."


I understand.

I was talking to my sponsor last week about similar topic. And, he said to me "AA is no different anywhere it's all the same." It caused me to think:

a. Perhaps he didn't understand what I said.
b. It's been so long since he's been to some undisciplined and unstructured meetings -- that he's just not aware what's happening. Or,
c. Maybe, I'm all wrong about it. Or,
d. Maybe... it's all of the above.

I wish I new the truth about it so I would know if my experiences are being guided by my perception -- of, if there is a Higher part of me that says "You don't need to be around this crap."

Since, I'll probably never know the real truth about it... I've got to come up with some sort of a solution that works for me, so that I can approach it with a healthy attitude, healthy behavior, try to be non-judgemental, to show love & tolerance & kindness... and a demeanor that is conducive to my sobriety.

I can't fix the worlds problems. I can't fix some of AA problems in different meetings and groups. I have a hard enough time trying to fix me! :lol: So... I surrender... on trying to fix anyone elses problems. It may sound like a cop out -- maybe it is -- or, maybe it's just an opt out!

There are some meetings and groups and AA's... that I've gone to or been around... and after just moments of being with them, after coming in very peaceful and serene... I feel like I'm thirsty, I want to fight or I want to run.

There are other times -- when my experience is just the opposite -- but, never the opposite, with those particular groups or meetings.

Our BB mentions about going to places where liquor is served... to ask ourselves if we have a legitimate reason for being there.

Sometimes, I have to use that same principle in regards to certain AA settings.

I admit -- I may be totally wrong on this -- and, very likely I am totally wrong on it. But, I have to take actions on where I'm at -- and not where I should be.

From what I've experienced... going to hundreds of different meetings... (not just the same one's over and over again, different ones)... there are some -- that have no resemblance to AA as I understand it, and as our book describes it. And, I feel like I have no legitimate reason for being there. I know that I'll be judgemental and it will be a difficult task for me to be tolerant and loving. The reason being: "I was looking for AA".

I don't want to bash them. Or try to tear them down, or try to fix them -- I just want out of there.

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Next

Return to Sobriety and Moments of Clarity

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 1 guest









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - ........JUDGEMENTAL......LETTING GO......