- Quantum Physics

Quantum Physics




Personal experiences with a Higher Power of your own understanding.

Postby tim-one » Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:34 am

Well said, 99.

P.S. I had an interesting conversation with my wife and another couple outside the program a few weeks back and this older Singaporean guy was relating his morning routine and how it involved his cleaning chores and exercise out of that blah blah. Anyway what caught my attention was my wife says oh can you teach my husband to do that? Now we had just met these guy's and he looks straight into my eyes and says "is he teachable" hmmmm! Pegged again!


:lol: I been pegged a few times latley, too. I get a kick out of it. I'm getting like Robert Deniro and Billy Crystal in "Analyze This". HP will peg me with something and I shake my finger at Him, "You ... YOU ... You're good You!" And we have a good laugh over my dumbosity.

Well, there's hope for your wife afterall. For some insane reason, I've accidentally noticed that I've been doing the dishes every day. Yesterday I just kinda wandered around the house, accidentally did 2 loads of my laundry, emptied the trash, mowed the lawn, went to the grocery store, and never broke a sweat. (Well ... except for mowing ... it's over 100 in Houston.)

All that after my morning HP talk and I still got to my step study in the evening. Holy cow .. I forgot. We even watched a movie and took a nap.

Last night my wife aks'd me, "Why are you being so productive?"

I said, "SSSSHHHHHH ... don't scare it away. I kinda like it, whatever it is." 8)

Point is ... I struggle with laziness, procrastination, lack of energy, and ambition. It freaked me out as much as her. I didn't even notice I was doing so dam much. I was actually just all wrapped up in myself with sober meditation all day. Lots on my mind there.

"Is he teachable?
:lol: I don't know. It can happen if it wants to these days. Must be something I'm paying attention to. :wink:

Love ya, bro.
Tim1
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby Ranman99 » Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:45 pm

Thanks Man just what I needed to read at the moment. Pleased to know all of you here at the site.

I also accidently got my daughter showered dressed, fed and off to school all without loosing my temper, at least not over the top. The wife has a tummy ache.

I sometimes have to watch running off to the morning meeting to avoid things if you know what I mean. What me noooo :oops: :oops:

Tonight I'm trying to get into to a brand new hospital meeting just starting here in Singapore. I'm hoping to get very familiar with the hospital's. I've done two hospital visits in the last few months and man I need that. They are sacred places to me now. There but for the grace go I .... You know the drill ;-)

Going to try and do so work today actually so ciao for now. First things first coffee and my 6th to last cig. I swear.

Good old HP has been good to me so far this year I don't want to take advantage :twisted:
Ranman99
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am
Location: Singapore

Postby tim-one » Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:30 am

Aw, DUDE ! It get worse!

Monday I was in some kind of funk. Woke up totally unmotivated. Had lots to do, but no energy or "want to". The funny thing is that I kept trying to pray my way out of it, talk my way into getting off my fanny, "just do it". As hard as I tried to convince myself I should feel guilty for not doing anything, I just couldn't. I kinda enjoyed the break from worry, stress, being busy.

Yesterday, I woke up in very much the same mood. I thought, "Well, shoot ... I'll just do some mindless endeavor until I'm up to getting busy. So I folded a tub of laundry. Matching socks was the hardeset part of THAT.

"Hell, why don't I start another load while I'm doing this. No biggy. it does itself and I just need to remember to put them in the dryer before they start stinking ... maybe tomorrow. Bout out of socks and undies anyway."

While walking away from the washer I thought, "Hmph. Wouldn't take me a minute to just take the dishes out of the washer while I'm standing here doing nuthin."

Just mosying around the house I accidentally did ALL the frign laundry - 8 loads folded, hung, and put away, changed a light bulb, scrubbed some stains off the stove, took out the trash, put more dishes in the machine and put them away, too, put the groceries away off the counter, and EVEN TOOK A NAP!

I hadn't even noticed I was doing all that. I was actually walking around wondering how guilty I should feel for not doing anything I was SUPPOSED to be doing ... like WORK.

I have a joke with my wife when I finally do something she's been wanting me to do that came to mind once I noticed what I had done. "I have my moments. Don't get used to it." :P

That evening, I went to my Relapse Prevention group at my rehab center. I needed this meeting to discuss my lack of motivation. There's an intensity there that isn't at my other meetings I thought I might need to get out of my sloth.

On the way I got a call for a job Wednesday. COOL! Money IN the bank! WORK !

As I sat waiting for the meeting, a couple of old-timers asked me if I would facilitate a Relapse Prevention group. :roll: Uh ... me? (gulp) "Well, if you and HP think I'm ready for that, then ... sure, I'll do it." (reluctantly obeying my sponsor to never say no.)

Being grateful for the oportunity and a good group, I stayed for the meeting after the RP group. Great meeting! Acceptance was the topic.

After the meeting a newbie walked up and asked me to be his sponsor. My first sponsee.

By the time I got home and had considered the day, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humility.

1 - How little effort it took to "accidentally" get so much done without intending to.
2 - As I did something else and intended to do something sobriety related, I got work.
3 - Going to get helped, I was used to benefit other. That helped me better than I expected.
4 - Staying (when I usually leave) to express my gratitude to HP and the group, I again was used to benefit another alcoholic as well as myself - sponsoring.

Returning home, I found my wife sitting on the sofa staring at me with her jaw dropped. "What the hell happened here???"

"SSshhhh ... don't scare it away." "I don't know, honey ... it just kinda happened."

(here it comes) "Wow! I could get used to this!" :shock:

DAMMIT! "That which I greatly feared has come upon me." :lol:

Sorry that was so long. It was an extremely unexpected ultravictorious and non-stop blessing day that happened without ME, but TO me ! :wink:

I see a Tim-the-alcoholic danger here. Now I'm going to LOOK for more mindless endeavor. Kinda takes the accidental wonder out of it, ya think? If I INTEND to accidentally do it, then ......... Ya see? :roll:

I think I'll just chalk this one up to a "Guess who done it." experience. (no guessing in MY mind.) :wink:

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

"Grace happens when you least expect it."

Love y'all,
Tim1
Thank God I'm an alcoholic!
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby Ranman99 » Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:57 pm

Good stuff bro. I ended up loading some Joe and Charlie on my mobile phone and re-listening to some stuff that really helped me a few months back. I just celebrated 8 months and have been doing a lot of step work so now I have the opportunity to :evil: do some more 6 and 7.

If you get any good docs for relapse prevention that can be emailed send me a note on PM. This is about (give or take) my eighth crack at this program in 18 years but it has been much much different and not a single craving for the booze since I came in which I credit to getting deeply into the step work immediatly and being gracefully unemployed with time to do the next right thing to the best of my ability on a daily bases.

I went to the hospital meeting Tuesday night here and it was a good speaker meeting and I guess had some impact on me this week to move on a little.

Been thinking/praying for a fellow I spoke to Sunday that was almost 10 years sober when I came in in 2004 in Singapore. If he does not get back on the train soon he is going to die in the ditch in short order. There but for the grace of HP go I!!!

May the force be with you!
Ranman99
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am
Location: Singapore

Postby tim-one » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:08 am

Sounds like you're serious this time, brother. Good for you. It's never too late until it's over. "He who dies sober wins."

The only documentation of relapse prevention is the Big Book. That's the "Manufacturer's Operation and Maintenance Manual" ... specifically practical application of steps 10, 11, and 12 - the daily, minute-to-minute continuing steps. We say we've done them, but, really, those 3 are the only thing that prevent relapse. We're never finished doing them. EVER!

Our relapse prevention group is for discussion of our daily living problems related to alcoholism and the AA solution to them.

This is how we do it:

A person volunteers or is picked (on) to share a problem and what he/she did at the time. The rest are asked to share "feedback" related to that problem offering Big Book solutions to the situation. The first person is, after sharing the problem, is not allowed to respond to the feedback, "crosstalk", but is required to just listen and absorb. No "Yeah, but ...".

We found that, even keeping up with the daily routines - the 5 things - and staying spiritually fit, that we are subject to mood-hits at a moment's notice and sometimes are kicked off-track - SURPRISE! Hey - we ain't saints. Just making progress on the way to being one.

We help each other get back on track. Most often, half the group says, "Yeah! Me, too! What about THAT?". Common problems with a common solution.

Knowing it doesn't necessarily mean we GOT IT. These small group discussions have been very helpful to us. Small is the key. Too many people, not enough time for personal, intimate attention.

THESE ARE NOT BITCH OR PO' ME SESSIONS! No self-pity allowed. No whining, griping, blaming. We stay in the solution, not the problem. We also share our victories - it's encouraging to see how this stuff works if you work it IN PRACTICAL APPLICATION. Also an opportunity to brag on our HPs. "God shots", if you will. Makes us realize that our HPs are actually doing what they say they will do and it happens to ALL of us as we pay attention.

I remember what was said because I have to LISTEN. I pay more attention to my daily circumstances knowing that everything I do might be helpful to the others later this week - accountability - we account for our actions and our progress or degress. What did I do to claim a victory? What should I have done to claim victory?

I highly recommend this kind of group attack on living problems, not instead of regular meetings, but in addition to them. Greatly helpful to first realize how common problems are and second how common and simple the solutions are. We are not alone.

We get to practice being the one to share experience strength and hope. We also get to realize that not one of us is ever as cool as we think we are. "I got this. Everything's under control. I'm cool and never have problems."

"DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!" ("Lost in Space")

"I GOT ONE!" "Great, kid. Don't get cocky!" ("Star Wars")

Tell ya how I might help - As you suggested, I'll try to make a point of sharing some of the circumstances and solutions that come out of our group. Might give you a better idea of how it works. Uh ... you might have to nag me to remember. :roll: I promise not to resent it. :wink:

I hope your brother-in-sobriety pays attention to you, man. Thanks for trying for him. Please be careful for yourself. He's not your responsibility and his possible failure has nothing to do with your sobriety. Care for him - it's your AA job. But, until you're secure in your own sobriety, don't get too involved, bro. Do what you can and remove yourself.

Just a concerned word for you from me. His deal is up to him. AAfetr 10 years, he knows that. Influence as you can and put him in Other hands. Then stand back. "Hide and watch" as we say in Texas.

Use it to bolster your own program knowing WHY it's so important to get this in you and practice it deftly for the rest of your life. 10 years is obviously not long enough. Today is.

"Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs." Good AA advice from the airlines. If you're passed out, you're no help to anyone else and you all die.

Exactly the right attitude for that. "There but for the grace of God go I." Excellent awareness.

Love ya,
Tim1
tim-one
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:54 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby angel143 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:03 pm

I got this from the Akron AA. It is titled "15 points for an alcoholic to consider when confronted with the urge to take a drink."

I do not have the ability to scan it into an email. But if you would like a copy, just PM me and I can copy and mail it to you.

Here it is:

The unhappiest person in the world is the chronic alcoholic who has an insistent yearning to enjoy life as he once knew it, but cannot pictue life without the alcohol. He has a heart breaking obsession that wby some miracle of control he will be able to do so.

Sobriety, the magnificent obsession, is the most important thing in yhour life without exception. You may believe your job, or your home life, or one of many other things come first. But consider, if you do not get sober and stay sober, chances are you wont have a job, a family, sanity, or even life. If you are convinced that everything in life depends on your sobriety, you have just so much more chance of getting sover and staying sober. If you put other things first you are only hurting your chances.

1-Cultivate continues acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and doing without just one small drink.

2-Cultivate enthusiatic gratitude you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with you before it was too late.

3-Expect as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time, (and it may be a long one) you will recurringly experience:
A-The conscious, nagging craving for a drink
B-The sudden, all but compelling impulse just to take a drink. C-The craving, not for a drink as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.

4-Remember that the times whey you don’t want a drink are the times in which to build up the strengthnot to take one when you do want it.

5-Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6-Don’t for a split second allow yourself to think: “Isnt it a pity or a mean injustice that I cant take a drink like socalled normal people.â€
angel143
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:46 pm
Location: Mesa, AZ

Postby Ranman99 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:07 pm

OK great this is good info. thinking about having some similar thing in town here and we are doing a big book workshop on Sept. 19th and that evening actually a special meeting and sober dance to celebrate 52 years of AA in Singapore.

I must say different priorities this time around finally and sobriety is first and all other falls in place after that. Still have work to do of course one day at a time and will never deny the self destruct button is available but have the tools to keep the cover locked on the little sucker ;-)

Ciao,
Ranman99
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am
Location: Singapore

Postby garden variety » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:55 am

Hi Angel and all,

There is a fellow who has many years that I always felt safe and comfortbable around when I was newly sober. He didn't have to speak or anything, it was just his presence that brought about a certain type of peace and security at those times early in sobriety when I hated being an alcoholic.

He taught me one of the most lasting and important lessons in sobriety. I heard him speak one night, and when he said "I have a price tag on my sobriety today. How much am I willing to throw away if I pick up one drink?"

Boy did the light ever go on :idea: :idea: :idea:

PUT A PRICE TAG ON MY SOBRIETY!!!

Today the price is far too high to pay for a single drink. The cost of one drink is far too expensive to consider anymore. I believe this is a major point being made by those "15 points" above.

-The price of freedom is priceless. It's worth any amount of diligence to always stand watch over.
-The cost of relationships is also priceless...especially the cost of a daily working relationship with a God of my understanding. I'm the child of a King. Who could ever provide more to me than my "Heavenly Father" (as Dr. Bob would call Him).
-The cost of today can never be replaced, ever again.

There are many more things that make up the "price tag" on my sobriety, but these are some intangibles that nourish my soul. The problem has always been in my soul. I was a treating spiritual illness with a "chemical solution".

The door to my past is never shut, and I remember what I used to think was "fun" while drinking. Yes there were moments of "pleasure" when I drank, and there were "feelings" that I thought could never be had again. But over time, my drinking always led to the "bad buzz". When I drank, I became angry, bitter, and mean. If you were near me, I was going to be sure to share my bad buzz with you.

It took me about 3 years to stop whining about the lifetime "sentence of alcoholism". I laugh about it today. Three years to "say goodbye" to misery - that's absurd...incredible...tragic. But how many other folks go through the same thing, even for years? In the beginning, I sold myself way too short.

It took a "thourough following" of the path outlined in the book. I discovered that sobriety came to life through the work and action of taking the 12-steps of Alcoholic's Anonymous. Today there are a many more things that make up the "price tag" of my sobriety.

-The cost of joy - something I never knew while drinking.
-The experience of happiness, which is the byproduct of joy and a life well-lived. Without joy, there was no happiness - ever.
-FUN. I can't count how many times in a day that I laugh, sometimes to tears. I never knew how to laugh with another person, or how to laugh at myself.

It was well worth the time it took me to put a price tag on my sobriety. I hope you'll ive it a try.

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"

God bless,
Paul
garden variety
 
Posts: 750
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:39 pm
Location: Ohio

Postby angel143 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:53 am

garden variety wrote:Hi Angel and all,

There is a fellow who has many years that I always felt safe and comfortbable around when I was newly sober. He didn't have to speak or anything, it was just his presence that brought about a certain type of peace and security at those times early in sobriety when I hated being an alcoholic.

He taught me one of the most lasting and important lessons in sobriety. I heard him speak one night, and when he said "I have a price tag on my sobriety today. How much am I willing to throw away if I pick up one drink?"

Paul


This I understand whole heartedly!!!

There is someone I feel this way about too.

He has taught me so much, and continues to do so, and I am so grateful for that. He showed me that the price tag says "priceless"! Sobriety is priceless for me.
angel143
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:46 pm
Location: Mesa, AZ

Postby Ranman99 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:41 pm

Thanks everyone for these special messages. Truly a gift to have this site because I am more and more stunned each day. I have been spending a bit of time trying to identify why it took me so long and many attempts at AA to finally break on through to the other side. I do this so that when I do share my experience hopefully It will stike a chord with someone suffering in a similar way that I was and the strange part is I was kinda blind sided that the spiritual part of the program was what I could not accept all those years. All about surrender for me anyway.

I was given a gift last night. I went to a hospital speaker meeting last night and after the meeting I was asked if I would speak in two weeks. It is a gift for several reason's. Unbeknownst to the woman who asked she has asked me to speak (and this is the first time I have ever spoken) on the evening of my belly button birthday. Absolutley the best brithday gift I could receive in this point of time.

I have thought over the years about how I would share when given the chance and bottom line was I was usually still so full of lies and misgivings that there would never have been a time that I would have been able to honestly share or speak. Oh I can talk that's part of my problem 8) But I now can start to see the responsibility that I have as part of receiving this gift. Who me? :oops: I can not give away what I do not have. Today one day at a time I want to get more that I can give away :D
Ranman99
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am
Location: Singapore

Previous

Return to Higher Power

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 1 guest









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Quantum Physics