Step12.com

[Dallas]

The 4th Step Worksheets


I’ve been getting a lot of email from people who have lost the link to the Step 4, Work sheets that was posted in our old forum. So, I’ll post it here for those of you looking for it.

These are the same worksheets that I use for the 4th Step Workshops that I conduct.

While my intentions were to provide the work sheets to help alcoholics, I have been told by both, alcoholics and non-alcoholics that the worksheets have helped them.

You will need Acrobat Reader to read and print the worksheets.

Be sure to download all FIVE files if you download or print out the work sheets.

There are FOUR worksheets. Resentments, Fears, Sex Conduct, Harms to others
AND THE INSTRUCTIONS. (five separate files) Be sure to get them all or they may not make sense to you.

Read the instructions page first. If you have questions, contact me either with the contact form on the Step 12 website, or you can contact me directly in the 12 Step Forums.

Also, be sure to read the text on the page before proceeding with the forms.

Here’s the link: www.step12.com/step-4.html

If you have questions, comments or need help with the forms, let me know!

Dallas


Note # 1

Recently, I received an email from someone who downloaded the 4th Step forms, and evidently, the person and their sponsor became very confused. The persons sponsor told the sponsee... that the 4th Step did not include a list of "Harms Done to Others." The email informed me, that they had spent several hours looking in the Big Book and 12 & 12 and just couldn't find any reference to this list.

If you or your sponsor encounter the same problem, please follow these suggestions:

First, Go to page 59 of the Big Book and read Step 8: “ Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Second, please turn to page 76, of the Big Book, and read: "We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it .... when we took inventory."


Obviously, this would conclude that it is an error to think that we wait until Step 8, to make this list. And, up until Step 8, the only lists or inventory that the Big Book has been referring to, are the lists that are completed in the Step 4, Inventory.

There is a detailed instruction sheet that goes with the Step 4 forms, from the workshop. Please read that instruction sheet, follow the instructions, and also read all the references in the Big Book mentioned in the instructions, and read the Big Book references on each one of the individual forms.


Note #2

I have received a few emails from AA members, that were told to burn their 4th Step Inventory, during their 5th Step. I'm not sure where this ceremonial ritual got started... but, it isn't just in the Big Book. "IF" your sponsor had you burn your 4th Step Inventory, please read Note #1, above. How are you going to go back into the ashes and get your list that is needed for Step Eight and Step Nine?

PLEASE read the instructions in the Big Book, when taking the 12 Steps!!! As an alcoholic in recovery, your very life and your sobriety depends upon it. And, if you are an AA Sponsor, and you did not follow the instructions in the Big Book to take your 12 Steps... PLEASE put your sponsoring on hold, and go back to the Big Book and take the 12 Steps again, using those instructions.

When you get to Step 12, which is practicing the 12 Steps in all your affairs... and you are instructed to "Carry this message"... "this message" is the message of Alcoholics Anonymous' 12 Steps! If you are not using the book, you may be carrying your own message... and having people work "your program" rather than the "Alcoholics Anonymous program of recovery" as described in the Big Book. If you'll also read the Forward to the Big Book, it explains that the purpose of the Big Book is to provide "precise instructions". That's why it is referred to as our "text book"! (Yes... A few sponsors get ticked off at me for saying this... and, if you are one... we have a Step for it! It's Step 4, and the list is "Resentments" )

This "could" be one of the reasons that so many alcoholics are turning to dangerous medications and multiple 12 Step programs... because they aren't getting it right from the start. Therefore, they think that the AA program is not working for them... but in reality, they are not working the AA program. It does work... IF you work it!

[Spiritman]

Good morning,

Buring Step four in AA is not appropriate, I agree with you 100%!
Buring your inventory is totally unacceptable for me. I refer to my old Step four inventories every time I process Step 4 in my recovery. I compare and contrast my records of self. I look for patterns of succes and lack thereof.

As a counselor, a non AA position, I do ask clients to bury or burn things.
What do I mean as things?
I had a client who lost her daughter in a car accident. She was unable to deal with the situation, and never had a personal funeral for her daughter, just a social one. I asked her to brings some things that were her daughters and a picture. I brought a shovel, she buried the things in a grave she dug and covered, she prayed, and forgived herself and lived a much happier life (yes I cut the story short).
I have also asked people addicted to drugs and alcohol to bury a bottle, can, or drug in a grave too. This is a method that does work for many, yet not everyone, and it is only a small portion of the recovery process.
Recovery here is ot AA style, simply counseling style.
So, why have I even bothered to mention this?
Simple, in my opinion it pays to read the Big Book, especially Chapter 5!
"We turned back to the list..."
"Referring to our list again..."
"...personal inventory..."
Inventory means absolutly nothing unless you compare it to the next inventory, then and only then may you honselty measure the process of restoration-recovery!
Just a few off the cuff tought about this... pay attention to the Big Book.


Peace, Enlighten, Accept, Concentrate, Empower!

Serenity,
The Spiritman

[Spiritman]

Buring in my previous post is suppose to be Burning

Typing Relpase,
Self inventory of past expereience and behavior has resulted in a correction in behavior since I had something to compare it to. Mmmm, if I had burned it, I would not be able to ASSESS it for correction.

The Spelling Relapse was corrected by inventory which I could not have done if I had burned the previous list (behavior).

Mmmmmm,
The Spiritman

[Dallas]

Hey Spiritman!

Thanks for sharing your insight on this. I always appreciate learning of the many power tools out there in the Universe that end up in my own little tool kit! For me, it makes getting the job done more efficiently, more thoroughly and much faster.

Keep em' coming!

Dallas

[Rusty Zipper]

thanks you two... i remember agonizing over my written fourth... you know the perfect fourth step! lol... but i aint kid'n... how do i do it... BB way, hazelton way, my sponsers way, a friends way... any fk'n way... after a compleat brain fart.... i ran into Mr Wisdom... ha say Patrick, theres realy only one way to do it... " Your Way, its your confessions, no one elses... so as i layed low for a week end... no phones, no tv, no nut'n... cept for some nice L'a Music'a... i grabed a pen and some paper, sat on my bed, in my room in CT. and started writ'n... resentments, then harms done.... when the dust setteled, i went back to see the behaviors asssc. with each thin i put down... Big Book Yikes, was this kid a mess... i stil have those sheets of paper. when i a feel'n a little down, or mabe a bit cock'y. i can go back and look, look at where i was, and where i'm at now... another Mirical... one day att'a... hast'a y'all... xo The Zip

[mendomann]

I got sober in 1979 and at that time I was unaware of 4th step worksheets. How long have these worksheets been around

[Dallas]

The basic format of these worksheets have been around, at least since 1985/1986.

[GeoffS]

One thing that I feel is often not emphasised around the 4th step is that it does not have to be perfect. Neither do you have to get it all in ONE HIT. Of course try to be as thorough as possible when you write it then discuss it with your sponsor or spiritual advisor.

However if new things come to mind later, go through it with your sponsor then. Add the amends to the list, or do them when appropriate.

Thorough means thorough as in trying to be complete, not as in one shot and you're done. As long as you address everything some gaps in time are ok. As long as you genuinely don't remember and don't try to cover up something you think of.

And if in doubt as to whether it should be on the list. Get it written down and discuss it with your sponsor anyway.

[Susan]

Hi Everybody, it is good to be back from retreat and up and running. I had an older sponsor and I did burn my fourth step when I did step five. Here is how it went. My Sponsor wrote my amends list, she wrote my list of character defects, she also wrote down my gifts . The sponsor is suppose to do something too. I did not go to treatment, my insurance did not cover it. She had a list of my stuff and I did. Then I did six and seven and then she told me what TYPE of amends I would be making to the people places and things on my list. There was no donation to some charity, BS! She was tough as nails and I have been sober since. It works for many but the sponsor has a part in it.

[robbiechaos]

Thanks Dallas Your 4th Step Inventory sheets really helped me and my sponsor. They helped me to focus on the work rather than how I was formatting it. We printed up extra copies so others in our group could benefit from your work. I feel like such a burden has been lifted off me after this 4th and 5th step. And you really helped me JUST DO IT. Thank YOU Dallas

[Dallas]

Thank you robbiechaos! I just read your post in the other topic of your experience with Steps 4,5,6,7! That's wonderful news and I do understand what you feel and experienced! Words can't describe it, and the after-feeling is "Gee! This was so incredible! Why did I wait so long!!!"

I'm really happy, too, that you had a sponsor, that would sit down with you and participate with you taking those steps -- and, that you did them all together at one time, like the BB, suggests. It must feel as good as jumping out one of those planes -- with the confidence that your chute is on and will open when you pull the cord!

Thanks for sharing "what it was like for you." That, my friend, will be what will help so many!!! People want to hear back from the Explorers and the Scouts... that have been out in new territory and they are reporting back to the troops as to "what it was like up ahead!"

Best regards,

Dallas

[robbiechaos]

It is true Dallas that words cannot describe my experience. I am so fortunate to have found a sponsor to guide me through this the way the big book and the first 100 laid it out. I am also fortunate to have the internet and people like you Dallas. The night before last I went to a big book meeting, my regular bb meeting was canceled and I was dropping off my kids at my exs and there was a meeting right around the corner from her house. It was a bb meeting so I was happy I wasnt going to miss out, big book meetings are my favorite. The man who greeted me at the door was named Dennis, we had met before. Dennis is an old salt, navy man, with much sobriety and when you talk to him you can feel the power of God in his life. Its hard to explain. Anyway I go in and sit down next to nice guy introduce myself. He asks me what group Im from I say Primary purpose Deer Park and he asks if Im the speaker tonite. I laugh and tell him Im not, that I only have 57 days in the fellowship. And hes laughs and tells me he bets me Im the speaker. Dennis walks in and announces Our Speaker Tonite is Robbie from Primary Purpose, Deer Park. We will be reading how it works and then Robbie will share his experience, strength and hope with STEP 4. How did he know I just finished step 4? I walked up and for someone with nothing to say, I suprised myself at what expert I was. After the meeting Every person in the room congratulated me for my "OPENNESS AND HONESTY", hOW GREAT IT WAS TO HAVE SOMEONE FRESH, "HOW i BROUGHT BACK THE MEMORIES OF HOW THEY FELT WHEN THEY HAD GONE THROUGH IT YEARS AGO". And several who had not gone through it, one guy was in the fellowship over a year, said that my experience, strength and hope had shown them they NEEDED to experience this. THEY WANTED WHAT I HAD. It was only 60 Days ago I was forced to my knees begging God to kill me, Do anything just take this pain away from me. And In Two Months I am Transformed. Into what, I dont know. What does tommorrow have in store for me. I dont know. But I know today I asked God to Restore My Sanity and He Has. Now I know I have to do my part for him. Its Just incredible when I was up there I felt like God spoke through me and it felt pretty damn good. As I was leavin Dennis asked me if I would take the hotline for 12 hours on saturday and of course I agreed. 60 Days ago the hotline saved my life.

[Dallas]

Thanks for sharing your experience robbiechaos! It's very refreshing to read what's going on for you! It's amazing what the Old-Fashioned original AA will do for a guy like us! Works way better than that new and improved stuff!

[robbiechaos]

Wisdom is timeless. In combat the words of a general who lived 2000years ago saved my life. I made the mistake of thinking that wisdom could show me how to live my life. It could not, it took the wisdom of a group of deppression era drunks to show me how to live. Thank God

[ROBERT]

I followed the instructions, to the letter, out of the book, exactly as it was written-no confusion, no guessing-so, it does say on, and only on, the 8th step-MADE a list of people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all- not refer back to a list,or inventory the list, just make a list- and I did, I was able to USE the previous work(resentments, fears, sex) to get the names (-we made it when we took inventory-) that went on THE LIST......the one the 8th step refers to. Nothing complicated about that- no inventory asked to do on THE LIST -but if it works using other methods and a psychic change takes place...HALLELUJAH