Hello there, 14 years sober, 10 years in a wonderful relationship, 5 years married. Why do we have a great relationship? Because the book tells me to practice these principals in all my affairs. It's that simple.
I was busy taking a good solid look at myself and learning how to put the steps into my life, attending a lot of meetings, constantly spending time with my sponsor, attending step meetings, involved in service work, living within a AA bubble and loving every minute of it. Never missed or even considered getting serious about a relationship.
Then along came Kim. We met by chance while enjoying a coffee in a park one afternoon. We became friends, we talked for hours, as if we had known each other for years. By the way, Kim is not in the program. She is one of those people that has wonderful qualities without the program, a normie ... lol
We started dating, I explained that I was in AA , she started meeting my AA friends and loved them from the start, we moved in together, out of curiosity she attends some open meetings with me, we eventually got married, we have never had an argument, not saying we have never been frustrated or angry with each other we just don't argue about things, we talk, we compromise, we care for each others feelings. All things learned from practicing the 12 steps in all my affairs.
The most important thing that makes our relationship work. We don't sit around discussing our relationship or analyzing every little thing. We live it, we enjoy it, we work on it by working on ourselves and not trying to change the other. What a concept ... lol
This is a program of action, we can sit around discussing it all we want but the truth is we have to do it, work it, walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Discussing the 12 steps gives us an opportunity to learn how to use them but knowledge is not enough. It's all about action and bringing AA into our home is the answer to our relationship.
Love every moment of sobriety and it is all because of the people in AA teaching me how to work the steps in all my affairs which puts my dependence on my higher power. Without God in my life I am nothing and there would be no wonderful relationship.
Anyway, that's how it works for us.