- Alone No More

Alone No More




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Alone No More

Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:22 pm

Alone No More
As Bill Sees It

Alone No More, p.252

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded
by people who loved us. But when our self-will had driven
everybody away and our isolation became complete, we commenced
to play the big shot in cheap barrooms. Failing even in this, we
had to fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity of
passers-by.

We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by
being dependent upon others. Even when our fortunes had not totally
ebbed, we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world. We still
vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or
dependence.

For those of us who were like that, A.A. has a very special meaning. In
this Fellowship we begin to learn right relations with people who
understand us; we don't have to be alone any more.

12 & 12, pp. 116-117
Dallas
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Postby ccs » Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:54 am

thank you Dallas

I am slowly coming out of an isolation mode right now and that was good for me to be reminded of ( have a thick scull :lol: ) I need to be reminded of things sometimes quite often thats why I have to keep coming back so you all can remind of the things that get stuck on the way to my brain :D its great not to be alone !!!

LUV YA Cess
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Postby DiggerinVA » Sat Sep 12, 2009 10:24 am

Isolation mode.

Well it is interesting that this comes up. I suffer from Isolation from 3 different reasons. They were progressive too. The 1st was a poor selection in a spouse, yes she is sic and I knew it, totally my fault and choice. Within 3 years of the marriage all but 2 my local friends were gone(50 signed sympathy cards). Then 5 years after the marriage our son was born with CP. I took a 3rd shift job. Then the craving set in. You know I was drinking to live. We separated. I began the path I am on now. Today I still work the 3rd shift job and I have my son on weekends (flip that sleep). So I miss a lot of the fellowship.

Now this has taught me something. The separation of the program from the fellowship. They both have their place. But the information in the book is paramount in importance.

My isolation will continue for a while. Until God sees fit to guide me through to the next phase of my life.

Just as a note I do get a few weekends. On the last one I went to a Saturday meeting that was celebrating I think 7 years. And most of the people don't know me. I was interesting watching my sponsor explain to someone who I was and where and when to find me. This is a small city too.
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Postby Ranman99 » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:36 am

Yup yup yup. From 1997 to 2007 I did 95% of my drinking in hotel rooms while on business travel. A few fellow business travelers and close friends knew I was drinking but it would be different people at different times and over the years noone but me knew how bad it was. I would come back from these trips a zombie full of fear(about what had happened or didn't happen) guilt, remorese and the self imposed depression from the chemical itself. My family and friends of the family thought I was sober and didn't drink.

That was hell on earth. In late 2007 I took off again after doing 10 weeks of step work with a sponsor and ran for another 16 months like that.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. I have not travelled anywhere for the last 9 months and will not do that again until HP says it's time. Then I will travel the AA way :P
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Postby Ranman99 » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:38 am

Sorry it was 1996 they just thought I stopped in 1997. And Prior to that it was 1981 to 1996 all out in the open and sloppy like!
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Postby DebbieV » Tue Sep 15, 2009 5:59 pm

Man I love to isolate. It is so funny that I read this today..Thank you Dallas.

I have been going around bitching because I don't have any "alone time". Now reading this thread I know that is code for I want everyone to go away and let me feel like crap all by myself. I have to be aware of when I start isolating, I know for me that when I start spending too much time with just me and the crazy woman in my head I get sideways real fast.

I have to remember that I haven't ran off everyone in my life that cares about me today because of my drinking, like I did so often in the past. I still have to practice letting people get close and share my life with those who love me, it doesn't come natural to me, I have to live it.

Debbie
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Postby Dallas » Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:42 pm

Debbie wrote:it doesn't come natural to me, I have to live it.


Damn. When I read stuff that Debbie writes -- it makes me think I'm reading something I wrote! :lol: :lol: I wonder, why is that? :wink:

That's the reason that we try to help others. They're the ones that will be saving our butts in the future -- telling us what we need to remember, lest we forget! :wink:

Dallas
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Postby DebbieV » Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:25 am

And here I am 8 months after I wrote that a prim example of what happens if I don't live it.



A few words a popping in my head this morning.



1. Honesty

2. Open-mindedness

3. Willingness

4. Action

5. Dumb-A**



On page 79 of my Big Book I have written "To Any Lengths" on the top of the page. Now, I wrote that when I was first getting sober and my sponsor told me I had to go to any lengths to get sober. What I see today is that I also have to be willing to go to any lengths to STAY sober. ( I'm sure he told me that also, but I have selective hearing at times)



I have been to 3 meetings in 4 months, I haven't done any step work in 8 months, I haven't tried to help another alcoholic in 10 months. and I haven't talked to my sponsor in 7 months... and if you ask me I can have a legitimate excuse for everyone of them...

Honesty



I stopped believing that I needed meetings, God, Big Book, sponsor or AA as a whole. I shut it all out of my life.

Open-mindedness



I didn't want to do anything that had to do with staying sober, I stop trying.

Willingness



I stopped doing what got me sober in the first place.

Action



I sit here today wondering why I am not happy and why there are so many things going wrong in my life. Why do I have at least one thought a day about drinking?

Dumb--A**



A few days ago I had my 22 months anniversary and I didn't even know it, I forgot about my 18 month one also. I don't celebrate being sober, I don't work for it, I don't care about it and I know if I don't get into some action I will get drunk.

So, here I am writing this post trying to be honest, open-minded, willing, not a dumb-a** and trying to take action.



I need to find my way back.
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Postby sunlight » Tue Apr 27, 2010 6:52 pm

Oh Debbie! I am so happy to see you here on the forum that I could just dance for joy! Even tho I can only be on the computer for a short time, I just had to say how much your post touched me and helped me today.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your beauty. Thank you for letting us know how and where you are.

DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED!!!!!!

It's never too late. Take the actions you need to. And thank you for kicking my posterior and reminding me to do the same. :oops:

I love you and still want to come to Silverthorn to meet you!

sunlight
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Postby DebbieV » Wed Apr 28, 2010 9:18 am

Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words Sunlight, I was so nervous about getting on and posting and reading what you wrote gave me a lot of gratitude.

I feel a little excitement today about working the program again. That is the first time in a very long time I have felt it.

Thanks again

Debbie
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