When a sponsee disappears...

Discussions related to 12 Step Sponsors, 12 Step Sponsoring, Working with others using the 12 Steps, for AA's, NA's, Al-Anons, Nar-Anons, OA, and others using the 12 Steps.
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:48 pm

Susan, I understand. Me and my thoughts with you -- in the Fellowship of the Spirit, as you try to help the family find their own peace in such a sad and painful time for them. God speed. We discover the miracle of our own peace as we try to help others to find their own.

Dallas B.

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Postby Dallas » Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:03 pm

Hi Susan,

Still thinking about you.... and I'm sure that I'm probably not alone.

Please keep checking in to let us know how you are doing.


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Postby debvan » Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:24 pm


I have been praying for you and thinking of you lots!

I try to through my meditation and prayer to put things in perspective. To hand things over to God, my higher power. There are times I cannot get it done. That's where I am today but there is a light shining! There alway is if I open my eyes! God has given me many signs, signals, and directions to follow, I need to realize them for what they are and follow them. And Praise HIM everynight that I have survived the day sober!

So be it for me to give any advise, so I won't.

Please just find comfort that HE is always with you. Praying for the alcoholics who do not survive today may He bless them and their loved ones in a special way.

Bless you,

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Postby Susan » Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:45 pm

Hi Everyone, Thanks for your prayers it has helped and I am will be going on a retreat until next Monday. There But For The Grace of God Go I!

garden variety
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Postby garden variety » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:36 pm

Take care Susan.

God bless you - peace too.


daily reprieve
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When a sponsee disappears...

Postby daily reprieve » Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:10 am

One thing that helps me accept when a sponsee disappears is the thought that we all have the right to not recover. I have been given the gift of sobriety by a sober member of the fellowship. When working with a newcomer, I don't spend a lot of time in a "lets get to know each other" phase. From day one, we sit down and read "The Doctor's Opinion" together. We get to know each others story through that chapter, what led us into the rooms of A.A. How we drank. How we thought. Allergy. Obsession. When we are done, I tell them that if a meteor should fall from the sky and crush my car on the way home and I never see them again, they have just been given the most important information necessary to commence their recovery from drugs or alcohol. We have hopefully smashed the delusion that we are like other people. If the lights have gone on and if they decide to go out and drink and use again, they will have a head full of "The Doctor's Opinion" as they put the bottle or pipe to their lips. The seed has been planted and all I can do is pray that WE continue along this path. That's all I can do. Carry this message to alcoholics.

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Postby Ranman99 » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:15 pm

Hey Susan, peace and love. I'm sponsoring my first bloke about three weeks now. It has been good for me and a little freaky but I'm starting to get my stride and I have my sponsor to talk to so freely giving.

This fellow reminds me a bit of what I was like when I still had to do more research so I pray that he doesn't have to learn more the hard way but I can also almost sense his inner self giving him a shot we will see.

My previous sponsor to the one I have now told me if we ever go to certain cities he will take me on a tour of the ones he also has had that didn't make it. I thank my HP for the shot I have had becuase I know that fear of death was not going to stop me from drinking only working the steps and then having the change begin to grow and manifest in my life.

I have set aside one of my suits from the days when I was a big shot that I have reserved for my first AA funeral. Now when I get dressed in the morning it is just one more thing that keeps this top of mind for me. I'm a surrender several times a day type Alkie. I'm grateful for AA, grateful for my morning meeting and grateful to have a sponsee that will help me keep sober for today. I'm forever reminded that I can not stay sober on yesterday's sobriety.

I told him I will visit him in prison or go with him to his divorce hearing or accompany his wife to his funeral whatever he needs if he decides he doesn't want what we have. My sponser says it great -- AA is a great program if you don't want it comes with a misery back guarantee :roll:

Thanks for all these messages guys. Glad I stopped by today :D

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