Step12.com

[sunlight]

Chuck C. also had an irritation with his son, Richard, because he did not understand his lifestyle. Then, with his new pair of glasses, Chuck saw that his son was not unlike himself.

Just got done reading an awesome, if somewhat technical, book called Field Notes on the Compassionate Life. It's not AA, but a fascinating read nonetheless. The basic premise of it is that all of life is connected, from the lowest form to the highest.
One part that really blew me out of the water was an experiment that was done by putting electrodes into a bowl of yogurt (which contains live bacteria) and then bringing someone into the room & having that person cut his finger and yelp in pain. The monitors on the yogurt actually registered a high reaction to the person's pain!

Now, if yogurt can feel empathy to another's pain, what the heck is wrong with me when I see someone suffering and do nothing? Better polish up that action.

Also, the good I do for one, I do for all! Ain't it grand?

[Ranman99]

Ya those are some good ideas. Like I've said before I appreciate this site a lot! Good place to bounce ideas and keep it top of mind. The TV idea would be cool. Especially with folks scattered all over the globe that can have a virtual home group!!! I think it would be good to eventually have video conference meetings as well I suppose when the time is right!!

Have a good day.

[Dallas]

I'm working on it. Want to help? I can use all the help I can get.

Sunlight, that sounds like a really good book. How about send me a PM with the authors name, etc. I'd like to read it.

When I first got sober, I watched a documentary on PBS, that Stevie Wonder was in, (mostly for his music part)... but the film was on the connections that plants have with other plants and with people. Wish I could remember the name of it. I'd like to get a copy.

BTW: "Now, if yogurt can feel empathy to another's pain, what the heck is wrong with me when I see someone suffering and do nothing?"

Nothings wrong with you. You got more brain cells than the bacteria! There are times -- when to do something for them -- can be the wrong thing to do. I know that it was with me. I needed to have my finger cut, my shins and chin bruised, and get into a ton of pain... so that I'd take action. If someone came along with some Bactine... well, I'd have probably cut my leg, then.

For me, the real question has always been, "when I see my self suffering and do nothing -- what the hecks wrong with me?"

Dallas

[Ranman99]

Count me in on anything I can do from here Dallas.

I liked the Sandy Beach I heard a while back where he is talking about watching the guy who goes to court for something that he did while drinking and the judge doesn't punish him but lets him off easy. He says all the AA's that are working the program look at that and go darn a missed opportunity for the poor bloke to get a good trashing that might make him do the right thing and open up to getting on with it in the program.

In my experience I never gained too much from all the times I got away with it

[Dallas]

I understand. But, deep inside... I wish I could still get away with it!

That's the only bummer that I can think of -- about staying sober for a long time. The longer we're sober, the more responsible and mature we have to act. (Act as if I was responsible and mature! ) And, we watch the new guys and girls... getting away with what would kill us if we tried it!

Dallas

[sunlight]

Sure do understand the "do nothing"! I have to do that with my son constantly. He still hasn't conceded to his innermost self.

But as far as the doing nothing when I see another alcoholic suffering:

SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW THAT WE ARE SUFFERING!

It was that way for me. Sure, I knew I drank too much and was full of anger, resentments and self-pity, but my alcoholic life seemed the only normal one.

It wasn't till my first meeting that the illusion was smashed.

I listened (wasn't able to put too many words together then) and related , but it was all just so much babble that I couldn't really take it in on a deep level that would make any difference in my life. I was ready to dismiss AA as not for me.

Then, as I put my coffee cup on the counter, a man came up to me and said, "You're hurting. I know".

I broke down and sobbed and felt exposed. But, the great thing was, I was able to see that I WAS SUFFERING! I didn't know it. But he did, and he was like a mirror being held up to my face to show me my pain.

So, sometimes the best thing I can do for another alcoholic is to be the mirror and let them know I see and understand their suffering.

And, of course, bring the good news that there is a way out if they want it.

Thanks for being here!

[Ranman99]

My trip for many years was the I knew or felt AA would be the answer but I just did not want to stop. I had this irrational belief that when I was ready I would go back and I mean years went by. I would set up these artificial milestones such as when I hit 40 I'll give up smoking drinking etc. etc.

Well in the end it was a hek of a battle. Epic by proportions and I finally got in and started doing the work years after that milestone. In the end of course I couldn't stop and this is about my 8th shot at the program but glad things happened the way they did this year. I will be one year on Dec. 20th. HP willing.

I have this funny sense and this is part of my relationship with my HP that the further down the right path (or as close to the beam I can be on most days) I go the more I have to work it. It's not just my concience or the understanding of what is best and what is not. It's almost mystical. The more I open myself to guidance of my HP it's like the more responsibilty I take on to work it. Feels strange and it has been my nature to see the light but to just keep saying ya that looks good but I'll dabble with the dark side for a while more. I'm trying to get a handle on it but it all relates to just being I guess. Anyway the more patience I have the further I go. I have started to try to have the attitude of "I don't agree with this YET" when I am in disagreement with others just like our tag of that hasn't happened to me yet and then I get the clarity I need.

I now understand what Dallas meant when I read a few weeks ago "if I could drink an still have my sobriety" all would be jiggy . I can identify with that now. I guess it's all part of the paradox. Oh to be an Angel and a Devil too I suppose. But hey maybe that's what we are.

I heard my first fourth and fifth from a sponsee yesterday. I would never of guessed the profound impact that has seemed to have on me and I know I need to make a lot of meetings in the next few days. That experience has struck me deep in all those places. The good and the bad!!! This is South East Asia. There is a bit of a reputation out here!

I must acknowledge that for both me and my new sponsee our stories resound with the theme "No one here gets out alive!"

[Dallas]

I understand. Thanks to both of you for speaking the language of the heart. It's a relief -- to read someone -- that's telling my story -- when they're actually sharing their story and their own adventures! What a blessing it is to be able to experience this.