Hmmmm! living amends?

[sunlight]

Sure do understand the "do nothing"! I have to do that with my son constantly. He still hasn't conceded to his innermost self.

But as far as the doing nothing when I see another alcoholic suffering:

SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW THAT WE ARE SUFFERING!

It was that way for me. Sure, I knew I drank too much and was full of anger, resentments and self-pity, but my alcoholic life seemed the only normal one.

It wasn't till my first meeting that the illusion was smashed.

I listened (wasn't able to put too many words together then) and related , but it was all just so much babble that I couldn't really take it in on a deep level that would make any difference in my life. I was ready to dismiss AA as not for me.

Then, as I put my coffee cup on the counter, a man came up to me and said, "You're hurting. I know".

I broke down and sobbed and felt exposed. But, the great thing was, I was able to see that I WAS SUFFERING! I didn't know it. But he did, and he was like a mirror being held up to my face to show me my pain.

So, sometimes the best thing I can do for another alcoholic is to be the mirror and let them know I see and understand their suffering.

And, of course, bring the good news that there is a way out if they want it.

Thanks for being here!

[Ranman99]

My trip for many years was the I knew or felt AA would be the answer but I just did not want to stop. I had this irrational belief that when I was ready I would go back and I mean years went by. I would set up these artificial milestones such as when I hit 40 I'll give up smoking drinking etc. etc.

Well in the end it was a hek of a battle. Epic by proportions and I finally got in and started doing the work years after that milestone. In the end of course I couldn't stop and this is about my 8th shot at the program but glad things happened the way they did this year. I will be one year on Dec. 20th. HP willing.

I have this funny sense and this is part of my relationship with my HP that the further down the right path (or as close to the beam I can be on most days) I go the more I have to work it. It's not just my concience or the understanding of what is best and what is not. It's almost mystical. The more I open myself to guidance of my HP it's like the more responsibilty I take on to work it. Feels strange and it has been my nature to see the light but to just keep saying ya that looks good but I'll dabble with the dark side for a while more. I'm trying to get a handle on it but it all relates to just being I guess. Anyway the more patience I have the further I go. I have started to try to have the attitude of "I don't agree with this YET" when I am in disagreement with others just like our tag of that hasn't happened to me yet and then I get the clarity I need.

I now understand what Dallas meant when I read a few weeks ago "if I could drink an still have my sobriety" all would be jiggy . I can identify with that now. I guess it's all part of the paradox. Oh to be an Angel and a Devil too I suppose. But hey maybe that's what we are.

I heard my first fourth and fifth from a sponsee yesterday. I would never of guessed the profound impact that has seemed to have on me and I know I need to make a lot of meetings in the next few days. That experience has struck me deep in all those places. The good and the bad!!! This is South East Asia. There is a bit of a reputation out here!

I must acknowledge that for both me and my new sponsee our stories resound with the theme "No one here gets out alive!"

[Dallas]

I understand. Thanks to both of you for speaking the language of the heart. It's a relief -- to read someone -- that's telling my story -- when they're actually sharing their story and their own adventures! What a blessing it is to be able to experience this.