Missing life

Alcoholics and Addicts sharing their personal recovery story with us to help others who want to recover.
angel143
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:46 pm
Location: Mesa, AZ

Missing life

Postby angel143 » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:19 am

Well...its day 157...and its taken me 157 days to finally see whats really important.

I know that sobriety is!!! Thats my number one priority. But I mean the rest of life.

I found out that my divorce wasnt really a divorce...so im going through that again. I was told I have MS. Moved. Im struggling everyday with so many things. But I can handle all of that. Thats just a part of life. You have deal with the bad stuff to get to the good stuff...and the good stuff is SO worth it.

But what I realized is that I have been surviving. Not living. My brain has been so foggy for the last 5 months. I messed up a lot of things, and I finally see that.

I met someone early in my sobriety. I hadnt felt that way about someone in a long time. He was a true gift in my life and he helped keep me sober. He taught me so much. Just the sound of his voice would be so calming. Then...I scared myself. I started back with same self destructive thoughts...and figured if I did things to push him away...then it would be better for him. Thats not a way to live. And I regret it, more than anyone could know...I regret it.

I havent had a drink...but for the last couple months...I realized that I wasnt sober...I was just simply not drinking.

I am trying to work on my self destructive thoughts... look at the other side of things... or as someone once told me... just dont do it!

I miss this site and everyone here I miss me...and I miss him. At least for now...I can have this site, and work on me.

Thank you for letting me ramble. I just needed to do that.

I love you all...
Heather




Dallas
Site Admin
Posts: 4786
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Dallas » Sat Nov 14, 2009 6:46 am

Congrats on your continued sobriety Heather! Nice to see you on the site again. One thing about problems I've discovered... they're always changing! :lol: We're never stuck with all the old problems and we can always look forward to being refreshed with some new ones! :wink: And, in between the problems, we always get a few great experiences.

Dallas

angel143
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:46 pm
Location: Mesa, AZ

Postby angel143 » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:58 pm

Hi Dallas

Missed you.

Its the in between great experiences that I messed up... but... I can only keep moving forward and hope for more great new experiences.

H

Rebos
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:38 pm
Location: Houma, La.
Contact:

Hang in there Heather

Postby Rebos » Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:02 pm

Heather,
When I first talked to you, I was at a beginning point of my sobriety. I was fresh out of rehab, and needing a friend to talk to. Not knowing me, did not matter to you. You still took the time, out of your busy schedule to talk to me. I truly think that you were the angel put in my path at that time. I am truly happy to know that you have continued your sobriety. I know from talking to you, that you are a strong and wise person. I just want you to know that if you ever need a friend to talk to, I am here. I have 43 days sober today, and it seems to get easier with each day.
Thanks for being that Angel,
Rebos





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