- Warning some of this pretty harsh but true

Warning some of this pretty harsh but true




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby tim-one » Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:25 am

Oh, man ... I been gone too long. I just read the first post in this thread and I'm bawlin' with gratitude.

Hopelessness, helplessness, futility, and despair. I was fixin' to kill it all and me with it.

THANK YOU GOD for the gift of desperation.

Despair - all hope abandoned.

Desperation - a gut-wrenching panicked desire to live when it seems impossible.

Near the end, I laid awake all night alone in the dark in my own darker head planning my death. I'd lived the only future I could imagine. Didn't want to see it.

A moment of clarity, the corona around the moon, gave me some dim enough glow of desperation to beg for life.

Thank you, Chaos, for your post just above. So like me.

I tried hard to find another HP who didn't know me. But I got a glimpse of step 9 and I knew that my biggest, most important, and hardest amend would be to the God I'd pissed off, whose heart I broke so brutally.
I was PO'd at Him because I KNEW HE COULD and He just wouldn't. (says I)

It would have been much easier to introduce myself to another one. But, if I was going to do this deal for real, I had to crawl back to the one I know and beg His forgiveness. All I needed was a corner in His barn to sleep in. Just to be near Him again was enough and much more than I deserved.

Mercy is not getting what I deserve. Grace is getting what I don't deserve.

I have both. Unbelievable. But I believe ... NOW.

And ya know what? I DON'T DRINK. How cool is THAT?!!

Gratitude. It's a wonderous thing.

Can't help it now. Re-post of life after death:


It’s all good

The sun is glowing
Birds are tweeping
Grass is growing
The devil’s sleeping
Traffic’s flowing
Time is creeping
A smile is showing
No children weeping
A cool breeze blowing
Trouble’s keeping
Age is slowing
No pager beeping
Good will sowing
No evil reaping
Joy is crowing
A giggle peeping

God remade the whole sad world
When my new life He willed unfurled
Or is it that it’s always been
My eyes were blind by self and sin
I don’t much care which way it is
So it won’t stop, I will what’s His

TimS
5/09

Love y'all,
Tim1
the happy alcoholic
tim-one
 
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Postby Dallas » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:14 pm

Tim-One wrote:It would have been much easier to introduce myself to another one. But, if I was going to do this deal for real, I had to crawl back to the one I know and beg His forgiveness. All I needed was a corner in His barn to sleep in. Just to be near Him again was enough and much more than I deserved.


I understand and I relate! :wink:

Nice to see you Tim! You've been missed.

Dallas
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Postby john boy » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:18 pm

"And you know what the worst thing was? The worst thing was that nobody ever believed how hard we tried."

This statement has such a profound effect on me...I break down every time I read it....it seems to touch my soul, reminding me of the unending hopelessness and despair. I thank God and Alcoholics Anonymous for my recovery.
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Postby tim-one » Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:17 pm

No kid'n, John Boy.

Nobody knows futility like a drunk. Nobody understands grace and gratitude like a sober drunk. They just don't get it.

Love,
Tim1

PS: Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don't deserve.
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Postby Mitchell25418 » Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:03 pm

Hey, my name is John & I'm an alcoholic. Happy to be here & practicing the principals of AA. Funny, for years I was so afraid I'd wind up in AA & now this program is helping me build a new life. Only 4 months in, so I try to stay grounded. I know my disease is preparing a counter strike.

Not sure why I needed to write that - anyway - thanks for listening - Have a great weekend!
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Re: Warning some of this pretty harsh but true

Postby MichalF » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:34 pm

ccs wrote:We died in shame.

We died in convulsions, or of "insult to the brain".

We died incontinent, and in disgrace, abandoned.
page 164 in the book


One night in park, in city X I woke up lying down on the lawn. I had broken ribs and nose, My body weight was less a several kilograms than use to be.
really exhausted, without job, money and friends many kilometers far from home. I hadnt even power to rise my body or cry for help. I was looking at clear dark sky, at shining stars. I felt I gonna died.
I said -if you exist, what the trouble for you lift me?
of course remembering hopelessness and helplessness doesnt keep me sober but I come back to this moment to remind me that how matter is serious I need it especially then I dont want to work on and practice program.
Its amazing that depending on where people live They see other sky, other stars. I have never seen Crux Constellation and so many people never seen North Star. Fortunately the Moon and the Sun We can watch the same :D It connectes us...not only that... :D
Last edited by MichalF on Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sad but true...

Postby rochelle » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:24 pm

I can't see why anyone would disagree with you. The fact is that this disease is not discriminatory. It can strike anyone at anytime. I am a single mother of an incredible 5 year old. Yet when I wanted just one more, she wasn't enough to keep me sober. I had to do what the book suggested. Let go and let God. Simple words. Simple steps. My life has never been so good.
Thanks for the honesty.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:07 pm

Welcome to the site, Rochelle. I appreciate your sharing and participation. I look forward to reading more from you!

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Postby Silverbullet » Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:34 pm

I stepped over to the nearest bar and tried some controlled drinking...it didn't work :cry: I'm an alcoholic and can no longer drink safely again..ever.
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Postby Rain » Sat Aug 28, 2010 5:25 pm

This is good, and needs to be saved. Does anybody know who wrote it and when?
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