- I'm not sure if this was a God-thing or what...

I'm not sure if this was a God-thing or what...




Experiences along the way that bring us closer to our Higher Power

I'm not sure if this was a God-thing or what...

Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:25 pm

I'm not sure if this was a God-thing or what...

When I was about 4 months sober I had to drive across the USA, from California to Arkansas. I had already been to A.A. once and failed after 5 1/2 months sobriety and I was really afraid to get away from my A.A. Home Group and my sponsor... because I was afraid that I would drink.

I was honestly and sincerely trying to keep a firm decision in Step 3, daily, and I still wasn't sure what a Higher Power was really like. I did hope that if there was one, that it cared about me and was going to help me.

I had received information that my mother was in bad health and I had a fear that if I didn't make amends to her then, I might never get to make amends to her while she was alive. My father had already died before I got sober.

I had been going to Chinatown and visiting New Age book stores and Psychic Shops trying to find a magic bullet of information that would help me find out about God and I bought a bunch of books on Prayer and Meditation, hoping that it would help. I had already tried church and the Bible years before, but I just couldn’t seem to get and stay with that program. I once got real religious a long time ago, and it was for real, but I ended up back on drugs and alcohol. Plus, at that time, I had some real mental attitude hang-ups about God and that particular design for living!

My sponsor told me to go ahead and make the trip. He said, "You must find a Higher Power that can keep you sober, and I'm not that Higher Power." He said "There is no doubt that you are an alcoholic like I am (yes, he could tell), and I believe you have a sincere desire. I don't believe you'll drink. Go ahead and go see your mother. Take a directory of A.A. meetings with you. (There is a big directory of meetings all over the country). Phone numbers. Keep in touch with the Fellowship while you are travelling. And, call me before you drink!"

I was totally scared! Everyday, several times a day, I kept praying "God, if you're there... please, please help me not to drink today. I’ll do anything you want me to do. Please help me. Because without your help, I’ll be drunk before the day is over!"

The trip lasted about 3 months. I didn't drink. I made my amends to my mother. And, I had numerous situations that were really not-so-normal.

My car kept breaking down on the road and wouldn't start. I would pull into a rest area, stop the car and it wouldn't start. I would get my Big Book out and read it, and pray, and do what I thought then was meditation. After a while, the car would start again with no problems.

I had a CB radio with me and would turn it on when I was driving. After I would leave the rest area, I would hear about an accident with an over-turned truck, that hit cars, and on one occasion exploded on the highway. I had goose bumps when I realized that if my car had not stopped working, I would have been in the middle of the accident when it happened. I was experiencing a lot of those strange sort of things happening, and it made me wonder, "Is there really a God, or Angels or something that's looking out for me and trying to help me?"

I didn't drink!!! And, I was able to continue through with taking the 12 Steps. I had started keeping a journal of those God-type things, and by the end of a year sober, I had enough experiences that could have made a book! Those experiences remind me, when I have doubts, that there really is a Higher Power that cares about me. I now have enough on my own experiences that proves it to me. It might not mean much to you, but it sure means a lot to me!

My mother is still living. And, it has been over 18 years now, that I haven't had a drink.

I continue to do daily what I did on that trip. I seek to improve my conscious contact with God, as I understand God, and pray for the knowledge God's will, and for God to give me the courage and power, to do what's revealed to me, help others, especially alcoholics, keep active in my participation in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I continue to use the 12 Steps to remove anything that comes up that blocks me from this Higher Power.

Life is incredibly wonderful today... even during the hard and difficult times. Yes. I still have difficult times. But they are not about drinking. It's about normal problems that normal people go through every day. The difference is, I have a faith that is based upon my experiences that helps keep me on course, and I have the program and fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have sobriety. And, for this, I will be eternally grateful!

Thank you to all the AA members out there who have helped me and continue to help me! My life would not even be a life without you!!!

There are some of you who I know, that helped me, and there are many thousands of you, that I don't know, that also help me! Every time I go to a meeting, at home, or far away, or to an A.A. convention, or round-up, I meet some of you. It's those of you who keep coming back, who keep the doors of A.A. open, and keep the coffee brewing, that the message of A.A. gets carried to me and countless others every day in every way.

The Internet A.A. meetings are wonderful. But I don't want to ever get so carried away on the web that I get away from physically seeing the faces and being with the sober members in A.A. in the meetings and in the Fellowship activities. When there is a call from an alcoholic who wants to get sober, I want to be sure that physically, and not just through email, that my hand will be there to reach out to them, just as your hands have reached out to me!

Thanks for letting me share!

Dallas
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Yep that's a God thing alright

Postby 918gma » Sun Jul 31, 2005 11:30 am

Yep that's a God thing alright. Thanks for sharing. I was glad to hear some of your story. I too have had so many unexplainable miricles in the year that I have been sober that it would be impossible to deny that I have a higher power and that he is doing for me what I could not do for myself.

I hear so many times in meeting s that people are always looking for a burning bush of some kind. Some all proving sign to show them that there is something some where that they could put thier trust into.

They waist so much time looking for the big sign that they miss all the little ones. The simple fact that they woke up sober. They remember the night before. They don't have to worry about wheither they offended any one or need to make amands for some thing they don't remeber. That they have clothes to wear. A roof over their head. A program to attend, and all the miracles that come with it.
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Postby crickit » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:05 pm

All those meaningful coincidences. I come from a very long line of alcoholics. I had estranged myself from my brothers and sisters thinking to hide my drinking habits because I knew they were alcoholics but not me. There are 7 of us kids in total, 5 girls, 2 boys. A few years back two of my sisters had a falling out and didn't speak. Then last year those same two sisters got cancer. My one sister died last month never making amends to the other. She refused any visitors because she felt no one cared anyway. Her husband had a private service. The rest of us gathered for a wake in her honour even though we couldn't be there for the service. I was so nervous. I was 3 months sober and very very upset. I thought it would be impossible not to drink under those conditions. I almost decided not to go but instead asked for the gods guidance and asked for the strenght to get through just this one day without drinking. I got to my sisters and guess what. She had decided to break tradition (Irish wake, you get the picture LOL) and told everyone that she did not want any alcohol in the house that day. She had no idea that I was an admitted alcoholic but she said later that she just knew that it wasn't a day for drinking. I got through the day, mended some fences with my other siblings and have since told them all about my struggles with alcohol. They are all very proud of me and we have all become closer since.

There have been many other coincidences since and I know now the gods will always see me through as long as I keep asking. I have no question anymore that the gods are with me everyday even though sometimes it's like getting hit in the head when I'm not paying attention LOL.

Bright Blessings
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Thank you

Postby Dallas » Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:05 am

Crickit, thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I learned that by watching others in AA, how they dealt with things, it taught me how to deal with similar circumstances when they would arise for me. And, it gave me reference points, so that I could be grateful that the things other's were facing, I wasn't facing it. Also, it showed me how other sober AA's dealt with the problems that they had. And, if they could get through their problems, it gave me hope that I could get through mine.

I don't remember ever going to a funeral, a wedding, or to visit someone in a hospital sober... until after I came to AA. Then, I went to lots of funerals, weddings and hospital visits with other AA members. When someone had something come up in their life, especially if it was difficult, or they might be in a slippery place, we would kind of band together and go with each other to offer each other support.

That's one of the reasons I keep my physical roots in real live AA meetings at the same time as being online with the Fellowship, because nothing takes the place of trudging the road of happy destiny together, hand in hand, helping each other face to face.

KCB!

Dallas
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Baby's first Step's

Postby Rusty Zipper » Sun Aug 07, 2005 1:07 am

thank you all for shareing. a lot O' time's i am blown away from the word's i here from people in recovery. Burning Bush's, Coming to Believe, HigherPower, Spiritual Awakening, The Power Greater Than ### my persional #### God, and on. ...... bring's to mind one day before recovery, at my bottom. i was down at the beach. feeling dispare, miserable, thought's of suicide. i saw a young couple and a little child. the child was just starting to learn how to walk. the couple was so proud of their little baby. i was facinatted with the look of determiation on that little child. then a feeling of the most sadness i had ever experianced took hold of me. i started crying like a baby. i was thinking i could have been that father, looking at his child. but instead i was at the final stages of my addiction, my alcoholism... i left, and couldn't honesty couldn't tell you where i went. prob. in a blackout by then. time passed..... i am now going to get my 90 day coin. on the way driving up to my group. i remember listening to some music, feeling like a million buck's, happy, joyous, and free. the compulsion to drink was lifted by this time. the "Pink Cloud" hum! i started to remember that little child at the beach trying to learn how to walk. i started to cry, just like that day at the beach. the only difference was these tear's were not tear's of dispare. they were tear's of gratitude.... i was standing up, and saying a few syllable's, all of a sudden, my great,great grand sponser walked in. walked in with his little child. he had put the child on the ground. the child was crawling around. i was more facinatted with the child than recieving my coin. my sponser singled me to pay attention. all of a sudden that child started to try to get up. he crawled over to his daddy. grabed a hold of his leg, and proceeded to get up. that f#$%#@g kid was starting to walk. the goose bumps were crawling all over me. a feeling of something like i had never felt. a burning bush one might say?....... nah! .....it was just a realization that i was just like that little baby. i was taking "My" first baby step's to my road to Happy Destiny! ..... a happy, joyous, and free one to all xoxo Rusty :wink:
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Thank you

Postby 918gma » Sun Aug 07, 2005 8:20 am

What a moment that must have been for you. Isn't it funny how our sponsors touch our lives. For me my sponsor line were the first women I ever had as real friends. My grand sponsor, is just as crazzy as they come. So down to earth and practical. I think it was her that made me laugh for the very first time. They are an amazing addition to the program. They seem to know just what we need before we do.
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Postby crickit » Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:48 am

What an amazing moment Rusty and what an excellant way to describe our recover. One step at a time, literally.

Crickit
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Postby JR » Tue Dec 20, 2005 12:08 pm

I really enjoyed these posts. Thank you all for sharing these moments and stories.

Love you guys,

Jr
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