Yes. Who knows?
For me, uncertainty is part of human. Perfectly imperfect.
I was once told that the word human, had it's roots as:
the ancient "hu" (for God) and "man" (not God). Or, as God, something that is perfect, living inside man, something that is not perfect.
On my first quest to discover for myself "who or what is God as I understand Him
" -- it was suggested to me that it was important that my understanding of God, had to be genuine, in the since of "no, this is not something I believe and understand because someone else told me so, it is because of what I have discovered myself."
I was at a total loss. Didn't know where to start. And, my first sponsor suggested to me, "why don't you take a pad of paper, and start by writing down what you think God is, or is like, if you could make God like you thought God ought to be. And, just see what comes up for you."
My sponsor was a very religious person. He had never had problems with God like I had. He was rock solid in his beliefs about God, before and after sobriety. And, he was very happy with that and it worked well for him.
I, on the other hand, had been a very religious person once, and had a very strong religious upbringing as a child. It was later on in life when I developed my major problems with God.
The only thing I could write at the time on my pad of paper, in trying to discover "God, as I understood God"... was: God is: Good.
God is: Love. God is Life. And, God is Light, and in God, there is no darkness."
My sponsor looked at my list and replied "Sounds like the same thing that I believe".
And, that's about all I know about God!
With me, sometimes I think I'm good. And, other times, I think I'm bad. Sometimes I love and sometimes I don't. Sometimes, I think I'm in the Light and other times, I'm convinced that I've been in darkness. The only constant for me, up to now, is: For the most part I've experienced, or had Life... (there was a couple of times that I was told... that I wasn't alive, but, I don't know... I don't remember it).
I appreciate your sharing MichalF. You help me to think about things and to feel things that are probably good for me to feel and to think!