Hello Kristie, and welcome to the forums! You are more likely than not -- in the right place!!!
It may come as a shock to you, as it does to many members of AA, that have been members for a while -- as strange as this may seem, A.A. does not have "An Official Definition of an alcoholic"!
There are a few places in the blue book Alcoholics Anonymous (I assume that's the one you mentioned you are reading, please check and be sure that it is, because there are a few other A.A. books, that are blue), that give a general description of "what an alcoholic MAY be like", but it also lists several types of alcoholics, and even mentions, that there has been no attempt to identify all the different types.
In the Doctor's Opinion, in the front section of the book, you'll find some of these types mentioned.
There is one type that is specifically mentioned, that the alcoholic appears normal in every aspect of their life (meaning, normal, as in non-alcoholic), except in regards to their drinking alcohol.
I wont tell you that you are alcoholic, because we go to great effort not to judge anyone else, other than ourselves, as alcoholic. You will have to decide this for yourself. And, I'll be happy to assist you by helping you discover relevant information that you can use to make your decision.
However, I will say, that from what you have written about your experience -- it sounds to me, like you are probably alcoholic.
The reason that I say this is: If you'll turn to page 30, of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the first page in the Chapter "More About Alcoholism", there are some simple test questions that you can ask yourself, to help you decide. (And, not one of those questions ask, if your life is unmanageable).
You are not alone in getting confused!
All of us were confused when we were first exposed to A.A.! (And, some are still confused, even though they've been around for a while)!
The First Step -- in recovery, IS NOT the definition or description of an alcoholic.
The First Step -- simply "names the problem". It allows you to identify the problem and give it a name, but it does not describe or define what an alcoholic is.
Please read the Doctor's Opinion, in the front of the book, and then read, Chapter Three, more about alcoholism. By reading these two parts of the book, you will be able to decide for yourself, if you are alcoholic.
I suggest taking a pen and paper, and writing down any questions that you have and then, if you do not discover the answer to your questions, please ask them here in the forum. Also, if you'd like to contact me by Private Message, just click on the little icon for sending a Private Message, and I'll be more than happy to help you with finding your answers.
You do NOT have to wait -- for your life to become unmanageable! Many of us have come to believe that we were alcoholic many years before we got to A.A., and many years before we created the major problems in our lives. Many were, like you, "normal in every respect" except for their reaction to alcohol. You do not have to wait and experience the low bottoms of life -- that other alcoholics experienced. Our job, is to "help you raise your bottom!"
I wish you the best! And, PLEASE keep coming back!!! I believe, that you have found the right place!