Thanks for this 918 - always good to reminded of the HALTs... I have always found Anger the most difficult to avoid, recover from etc etc.
In early days particularly I found H, L and T easy to address - simplistically that is
- Hungry = Eat
- Lonely = Go to meetings (easy in the city in which I live as there are hundreds per week) or pick up the phone
- Tired = no real solution but certainly be consoled that "No one ever died from lack of sleep" (may not be true but was helpful)
As far as Angry - when I feel angry I am powerless over stopping it (pretty much) but I was taught ways to not react to it. The most obvious being the Serenity Prayer (and for the non-believers just think of it as counting from 1 to 10 and do it anyway!), Third step prayer, walk (or run) away - not avoid completely - just put it on hold.
Of course, as you say, with time and days these all take on new meanings.
918gma wrote:Where does my anger come from. What triggers it. why, when.
I was told, and I have discussed this with people inside and outside the fellowship, that anger is the manisfestation of FEAR. I still find this the most simple and, for me, the most applicable explanation for my Anger. I think I first heard this doing my fourth and fifth steps.
And I guess it's by no coincidence that there is some emphasis placed on the word fear in the fourth step guide in the big book
Notice that the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve.
Easily said - so what do I do about it.... formal or informal, short or quick fourth steps....
Every time I'm angry I can usually find a "I am resentful at ..." somewhere in there.
So in theory, I should do a mini 4th step whenever I feel angry.
That's the theory - but try telling me that when I'm right in there enjoying every moment of my righteous indignation (a dubious luxury I still cannot afford but constanly flirt with)!!!