- first real test

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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

first real test

Postby Bobby D » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:19 am

Been 30 days . ... seems like much longer .

I haven't gotten a sponsor yet, BUT I have been to meetings regularly the past week and a half...

My home group is pretty cool and there are a few people I identify with fairly well... All in all I've been having a "not so bad" time staying sober... a couple of challenges especially the first week or so...but I made excuses not to be in a real tempting situation.. i was sick.. or my wifes car broke down so I couldn't hit a happy hour.. stuff like that...

Next week is going to be a big challenge for me..I'm travelling on a 5 day business trip..visiting a client the first two then a three day conference.. It's the conference that worries me... In the past I was always the one who got the after party rolling ...life of the party so to speak. .... I am not so confident I'm going to maintain my sobriety this time.. in fact I find myself already planning my excuses... In my mind I've already slipped...

Heading to a meeting this AM and this group has weekend meeting that I'll hit Sat and Sun will bring up this concern there..

I don't want to go back there man, I'm afraid if I do it wont be the normal three day drunk this time...


thnaks...bob
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Postby Dallas » Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:24 am

Good to hear from you Bob! Express your concerns in the meetings. I'm sure you'll hear from some folks who have "been there and done that"... with the same concerns... and made it through sober! They'll have some good tips for you!

Bill W. (our Co-Founder) was sober 5 1/2 months when he went on a business trip to Akron, Ohio. His story is in the Big Book... Chapter 1, Bill's Story. He nearly lost his sobriety on the trip, but he took some actions... that eventually led to the founding of A.A. You might want to read and see what he did.

Also, Dr. Bob, our other Co-Founder's story is in the back of the book, "Dr. Bob's Nightmare". It ties in with Bill's Story, and you might want to check that out also.

Dr. Bob made a business trip to a convention, but he was unsuccessful at staying sober on his trip. I'm sure you'll find some good info in his story as well!

You really can do it -- sober... as long as you want sobriety more than you want to drink. If you want sobriety... then, simply do what the others have done to stay sober. It's that simple! :wink:

When I was new in AA I used everybody as a sponsor. I was a people watcher and I watched them. Some showed me what to do and the others showed me what not to do.

Even though I have a sponsor now, I still use everybody as a sponsor, watching them and learning from their successes and their failures.

Best wishes to you!

Dallas
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Postby sa » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:42 am

Hi Bob,

congratulations on your 30 days ! Going on business trip in other cities can be atricky thing; in the first time of my sobriety I laways had problems with that. In my hometown I felt pretty safe but a new city was a totally different thing. Before going to the city I used to check out the local AA-meetings and I attended a meeting as soon as I was in the new city. That worked pretty good for me, I didn´t feel alone anymore and I felt safe.

Sober 24 hours

Sabine
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Postby Luv » Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:55 pm

Congrats Bob. Am sooo happy for you and feel sooo proud.
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Postby Dallas » Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:10 pm

Hello Bob!!! Are you back yet??? Please check in as soon as you get back! Regardless of how you do on your trip... we care about you and we're here waiting for you!

Dallas
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tested

Postby Bobby D » Sat Feb 20, 2010 6:22 am

Thanks Dallas,

Got home early Friday morning....And still in the ranks of the sober.. It was not easy, and I'm still not sure how I didn't break.....I went through a series of negotiations with my higher power.. If you dont make me act like an @!$#hole I'll only have one drink... or please let me get through this with only drinking a little... things like that......Really had to focus.. Truly went "one day at a time" and on Tuesday I wasn't sure if I would be drinking on Wednesday...

I came pretty close to having that one drink on the 3rd night ( our free night out ) ... I haven't gotten to the sponsor point yet...But on my Meeting Sunday the group gave me another phone list...Called a couple people from my home group which helped alot.. Making that call was tough..the phone felt like it was 100 LBS....I think I hung up before anyone answered the first three calls...Also on advice I brought the BB with me and finally got to reading it...

There were so many sobriety challenging items.. But most importantly, there were two guys I always went overboard with in past conferences That I simply had to avoid in the early part of the evening...Once they got their buzz on , then they didn't seem to notice I was on ginger ale and not scotch..I'm glad this as an annual event.. hopefully I'm stronger and better equipped by the next one..

In the end Paul and Mark are the talk of the conference this year not Bob Paul and mark...... Not sure how I feel about that yet.. somhow I'm kinda deppressed about it...as if a part of me ( the fun part ) is gone... Clearly my peer group and set of friends will proabably have to change...

Alcohol for me in a lot of ways was a tool for me rather than a weapon against me...i made many corporate allies that have helped my career while rocked... This is hard for many AA's to understand..while I do feel mentally much better and undoubtedly I'm am 110% better physically.. I'm not stopping because I hit a bottom... quite the contrary...I'm on top of my game.. I think about it as getting out before the problems hit..

Quick message for new comers to this site/fellowship... Get to a meeting.. the people there really do care... One day at a time sounds like a cliche... but It really does work... It's more not looking to far ahead that you forget about the right now ... and finally god does not make mistakes, he knows what he's doing ... trust him

Thanks to everyone who are helping me on this forum.. It has made a huge difference..

thanks and god bless

bob
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clarification

Postby Bobby D » Sat Feb 20, 2010 11:01 am

Want to clarify something in my previous post....When I said

"I'm not stopping because I hit a bottom... quite the contrary...I'm on top of my game.. I think about it as getting out before the problems hit"

That refered to work and only work... many personel problems exist.. not the least of which is getting drunk every night to the point of blackout...Not knowing if an event was a dream or really happened is the brink of insanity for me... I truly dont know how I survided that aspect of my alcoholism, or how I functioned day to day for that matter...

Lastly I went to a meeting this Am and finally realized why ( up to this point ) I had not gotten a sponser.... BEcause that's admitting that my alcoholism really and truly exists, and puts plans in place to actually do something substinative about it...... and I can never be a social drinker...Feels good to say, my sponser showed me that !!

Thanks again all

Bob
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Postby Dallas » Sun Feb 21, 2010 2:38 pm

Congratulations Bob!!! It's REALLY great to hear from you and to read of how your trip went!

Some of us understand how alcohol helped us get to the top of the ladder! :wink: And, we understand... how we knocked the ladder out from under ourselves! :wink: And... some of us figured it out that -- "Hey, what if I could get up that ladder again sober? Maybe if I get up it sober... and stay sober while I'm on it... I'll end up watching the other guys fall off of it!" :lol:

Keep coming back Bob! I really do appreciate you and appreciate being able to hear of your experiences! They help me tremendously! And, they remind me... of just how easy it could be... for me to knock myself off of Life's ladder again!

Dallas
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Postby Bobby D » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:48 pm

Thanks Keith,

Crossing that line has been the best things I've done.,,,hard step.. but once across I feel confident I am no going back there.... at the end there I was drinking nearly a 5th of bourbon a day ... I knew I was an alcoholic.. but kept kidding myself.. never missed a day of work.... survived the layoffs in the financial sector...was even in the mentor program for Jr. managers at work...how could i possibly be an alcoholic ??? But I was/am

When I got bad withdrawals because I stopped to "fool" the blood test for my physical ... I finally woke up....

This forum was my firs tstep....It helps a lot.. I go to Meetings 5 - 6 days a week...took me three times going to meetings getting to the parking lot then leaving after I saw people go in... before I actually went in the door .. The first meeting I actually said...I'm Bob , and I guess I'm an alcoholic...I heard a chuckle or two and I look back foundly on that now....I really believe going to meetings as often as I do is whats keeping me sober.....I know it's supposed to be god ( and it actually is .... I'm getting there!!! ) .Mostly I listen, occaisionally I share... but not real often... I've been kinda hesitant like.. what can I say to these guys they dont already know.. most are fairly long term sober... 6 months to 35 years...

Might be crossing another line .. Today there were two first timers and a guy who was back after 2 years .. for the first time when sharing my experiences I felt like I might be making difference to one of these guys, a "kid" my sons age.... couldn't be more than 25 years old..I could tell he was listening.. nodding his head like he related to what I said..... walked out with him and told him.. hope you come back.. .he said thanks...I will !!! ...Can't really explain it but I was surprised it felt that good .


God bless and THANKS... I am so greatful to be sober today ...


Bob
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Postby Dallas » Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:20 pm

Thanks Bob & Keith!
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