(Sorry ... this turned into more of a really long self-examination than talking about you.
Oh, well ... that's my step 10.)
I appreciate your position and fear. Not easy sometimes. But, Dallas and Geoff are absolutely right as evidenced in my personal experience.
Here's what I got out of my "trials" when my past keeps catching up with me.
1. I have to remember that it is MY past. I did it. Sweeping it under the carpet does me no good. Being different is what does me good. Dealing with it rightly makes it worth going through making me a better man ... a sober-minded man based in reality.
2. I realized that what I fear is usually what doesn't happen. Just like my body's defense system over-reacts around cats, my alcoholic mind over-reacts to EVERYTHING. Mind mind is alergic to life by now sending the Navy Seals to stop a bar fight in my head. Get sane. Deal with reality.
I have not heard from the potential employer and I believe my honesty has hurt me!
That's what you believe
... likely not what's really happening. Sure, it's possible other people are thinking the same thing you're thinking. I came to know that what I think kept me drinking ... lies just to keep me afraid of reality.
I tried honesty as a new thing - not what I'd done before over and over expecting different results.
It's as possible that they want you to contact them to find out if you really want the job and are willing to go after it. Some like to be persued. It could also be that they found someone else with more experience, expertise, some different quality they perferred and has nothing at all to do with your DUI. Maybe they just have a boat-load of applicants. You ain't one of only two people looking for a job these days. They have a LOT to choose from.
Put yourself in perspective. While you might be an above average guy, but you might not be the best on the market for them. There are plenty of other reasons they make their decisions.
You might just be singling the DUI out as the ONLY reason you're not chosen. If it's the only defect you can think of, you're probably not through your steps with your sponsor yet.
Call them and say something like, "I'm really interested in this job. What do you think?" Then just listen. Answer their questions honestly and unemotionally ... matter-of-fact, cuz that's what it is.
3. Your controlled substance is the alcohol you admit to using. Alcohol IS a controlled substance. Where you can buy it, how old you can be, where you can use it, what you can do when you use it are all controlled
by laws. Illegal drugs are plain illegal. Prescription drugs are legal but controlled, just like booze and tobacco ... and firearms.
A lawyer should clear that up for you should you decide it's worth the expensive or just accept it as is. Acceptance is what alcoholics should do serenely ... especially if we can't afford to change it courageously.
4. As stated by the previous sober brothers, what I want is never as good as what I get IF I have put my life in HP's hands. He always has a better idea. Sometimes I happen to want the same thing He wants and that's cool! Sometimes I just have to change what I think I see.
I had to consciously and emotionally put results
in His hands. I do what I can toward my goal and forget about the results. It either works or it doesn't. Come to find out, when I don't get what I intended, I get a little excited and start looking around for a wonderful surprise. My failure has become great opportunity to expect the unexpected. When I fail, there is SOMETHING COMING that's really gonna float my boat !
5. I don't know about your HP, but mine is more concerned with how I react and what I do IN my troubles rather than saving me from them.
"WHY ME ?!" "Why NOT me?" Why should I be immune from what everyone else goes through? I'm to be an example of His grace to help support others who don't have what I have.
That's what my stepwork was good for. More importantly, that's what my relationship with my HP does for me through the stepwork.
I want what I want. But I prefer what my HP wants these days.
I haven't had a job for over a year since before I sobered up 13 months ago. But, looking back, I started noticing that I'd had my daily bread all year. I'm not worried about the job as much as I'm so tickled listing every time I'd gotten a little work, just enough money at just the right time from sources I had nothing to do with. It just comes from somewhere. Haven't missed a single bill. That's cooler to me than a regular job today.
Hang in, Scraps. Relax. Tell the truth. If it doesn't get you that job, you really don't want it. Wanna work for someone who's going to be on your back all the time? Not trusting you? If it's that big a deal for them, really want that job? Your honesty will get you the job you SHOULD have and you'll be MUCH happier.
Maybe that's just me.