I ditto what GeoffS wrote. Thank you for being a great example! And, I, too, hope you keep getting better and better and better!
I understand about going through some similar things that you've experienced. We're not God... so naturally... we're not in control. However, I do believe that we can influence and that good planning is part of the way I've learned to live AA. "We consider our plans for the day"..... and we ask God for guidance, direction, courage, and the power to carry them out. Then, we suit up and show up and give it our best efforts. When things don't go our way -- they don't go our way. So, we get up, shake off, and get busy again into more action.
Life happens the way Life happens. Regardless if we're sober or not Life will be what Life will be. So, we learn to accept it as something that is working together with other things that happen for our Highest Good.
Bill W. once wrote something about the good -- sometimes, is the enemy of the best. We want the good... and sometimes fail to see that the good is not the best. And, sometimes that's frustrating! It can be painful and/or it can be pleasurable.
Once I was going through some bad stuff and I asked my sponsor "Why does God let this crap happen to me when I've been trying so hard to make progress?" And, he said: "I understand. Maybe He isn't finished with you yet!"
What we walk through doesn't define us -- how we respond to it describes us.
Thank you for sharing what's going on with you and what you've been going through... it's this kind of sharing from the heart about living sobriety -- that has the Power to help us all! I appreciate you!