- The Source of Our Resentments

The Source of Our Resentments




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Postby dbarnes180 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:05 am

ROBERT wrote:This too shall pass :D
:)
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Postby gunner48 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:20 am

The only thing that will block me from God is my judgement of others. It never fails that when I am looking at what others are or are not doing I drift away into Selfish behavior and only start thinking of Me.

My group also has a commitment to take a meeting into a treatment center every other week. It was difficult to get people involved but once the effort was made to let people know how important this work is we repaired the problem, now the fight is over its my turn to go instead of I don't want to do this. Each group will respond in their way. Keep your effort up and continue to be excited about your soberity and other will come along. Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all else fails. page 89

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. We have recovered and been given the power to help others.

Keep up the important work you are doing. Peace and Love
Gunner
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Postby ROBERT » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:32 am

Well said gunner48 :)
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Postby dbarnes180 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:25 pm

gunner48 wrote:The only thing that will block me from God is my judgement of others. It never fails that when I am looking at what others are or are not doing I drift away into Selfish behavior and only start thinking of Me.

My group also has a commitment to take a meeting into a treatment center every other week. It was difficult to get people involved but once the effort was made to let people know how important this work is we repaired the problem, now the fight is over its my turn to go instead of I don't want to do this. Each group will respond in their way. Keep your effort up and continue to be excited about your soberity and other will come along. Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all else fails. page 89

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. We have recovered and been given the power to help others.

Keep up the important work you are doing. Peace and Love
Gunner


:)
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Postby Dallas » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:29 pm

dbarnes180 wrote:Twice I have asked my sponsor to let me resign ... twice I have been told to fulfill my commitment. Twice I have agreed to do so.


Thanks for your message David. I appreciate you and your sharing.

It reminded me of what I was told when I first came to AA. "Your AA commitments are your commitment to your sobriety. If you don't have commitments... you won't stay sober. And, if you do have commitments and don't keep them... you won't stay sober". :wink:

It's the "work that I do" that gives me the opportunity and privilege to have another sober breath.... If I'm not doing the work that He has chosen for me to do... then, why would He have a desire to help me?

Perhaps, the spark that will kindle the fire of service work in your group, will end up being one of the residents of the treatment center... that gets sober and stays sober because you went there and carried the message of AA to them. At least, we know this much... while you are there carrying that message... I'm reasonably sure... that you will be sober and that your life will continue getting better! :wink:

The message of commitments and service work is the AA message. Bill and Dr. Bob, were careful to let their new recruits know ahead of time... that "work with another alcoholic" will be imperative to their sobriety.

Of course, Treatment Centers is not the only place that we carry the message. Hopefully, we carry the message daily in all of our affairs. And, we are always willing to reach out, when any alcoholics hand reaches out to us, regardless of "where" we are.

There are two things that block me from God. My thinking and my actions.

It starts with my thinking. Whenever I'm thinking about me... I'm not thinking about God. And, so far... I've been unable to think about me and think about God at the same time.... I have been able to think about me all of the time -- but, I've never mastered thinking about God all the time.

And, when I'm thinking about God, or someone else, as God would want me to think about them... I'm less likely to offend them or harm them and end up having to make amends to them! :lol: (I haven't mastered that yet, either). :lol:

For me, I suppose that one of the keys that has helped me to stay sober, is to take great effort to have some sort of "conscious contact" with the God of my understanding. Prayer and meditation is "actions" to help me improve my conscious contact... but, kind of like our book outlines... "there is a necessity for actions and more actions"... and that leads us into the work, the life, and the Chapter, of "Working with others."

Thanks to all of you -- for helping me to keep in some sort of "conscious contact"... because without you... I can't do it on my own.

Dallas
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Postby dbarnes180 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:28 pm

:)
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Postby Dallas » Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Welcome to the site! Thank you for sharing and participating!!!

On some days -- my most difficult task is to: 1. Not get resentments at AA members. And, 2. Not get resentments at AA members. :lol: :lol:

Sometimes... it can be a real challenge. But, I have to remember:
a. Some are sicker than others. And,
b. Some are pretty slow at getting well. And,
c. Some don't seem to be getting well at all. And,
d. Many.... probably have the same challenge and feelings -- about me. :lol: :lol: :lol:

However, I've learned that it really is true that: In regards to resentments, it is better to give them than get them! :lol:

When I was very new in AA -- I can't remember anyone trying to run me off. It was only after I stuck around for more than a few days that some said... "I have to tell you to keep coming back.... So, keep coming back... just don't rush it or over do it! Take your time!" :lol:

I even know a couple that probably wished that I would hurry up and drink -- so they could pee on my grave! :lol: :lol:

Life has ups and downs and arounds. As long as I have some arounds -- I better keep coming around.

Today, the reflective questions that I've been asking myself is: "What lessons have I learned today? Did I discover any new discoveries? Am I continuing to take personal inventory... promptly admitting it when I'm wrong... and working to improve my Conscious Contact?"

If I can answer "Yes" to those questions... It's been a good day! If I answer "No" to those questions... it's still a good day as long as I'm sober!" There have been some days that I've felt that my sobriety is all that I've had. And, for those days... I'm grateful for them, too!

Some days, I have to remember, that for me, it's often warranted for me to slow down, relax and take it easy. Don't be too hard on others and don't be too hard on myself.

Live, laugh, learn and love -- and then, try to pass it on.

Dallas
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Postby butch » Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:34 am

kb1025, you have a great heart. please always remain the way you are. God works through you and all of us so we may help others. Stand up for your beliefs!!!
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Postby Dallas » Wed Mar 03, 2010 6:42 pm

It has been said here that the source of resentments is Fear.


I'm the odd kid on the block. :lol: I'm not one of the one's that thinks that the source of resentments is fear. A re-sent-ment... is a re-feeling of previous anger. I can have fear without having anger and I can have anger without fear.

This is why we make two separate lists in Step 4... one for Resentments and one for Fear. If fear and resentment were the same... why make two different lists?

I think a more appropriate and beneficial discovery is to discover the root of anger, fear and resentment. That's the primary purpose of Step 4. We can't get rid of something unless we know what it is. And, if we're asking God to remove the wrong thing... then when the wrong thing is removed... it keeps popping back up causing us problems.

I'm in agreement with you KB. Focus on the courage.

When we focus on the negative -- we attract and manifest more of the negative. When we focus on the positive -- we attract and manifest more of the positive.

We attract what we think about -- all day long.

My brain, coupled with all my will power... was not designed to "not do something." It's purpose is "to do something."

So, if I think of "not getting or not having resentments"... what my brain says is: Resentments? Oh! I know how to do that! I'm great at creating resentments! :lol:

And, the opposite side of the coin? If I think of courage... my brain says "Oh! I know how to do that! I'm great at creating courage!" :lol:

Bill W. and Dr. Silkworth emphasised that our most pressing problem "centers in the mind."

And, at the bottom of page 58, "How it works"... we're instructed "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we
let go absolutely."

Interestingly enough: to "Let go"... if we get technically correct with the Big Book... refers to "Let Go of our OLD IDEAS".

The process of recovery (page 143) requires a transformation of thought and attitude.

Trans-form = "change-form" Or, "change the way we form our thoughts".

So, we let go of our old ideas absolutely... and do a 180 in our thinking process... and whammo... we suddenly discover that we have a serenity that matches any future calamity!

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate what you've shared on this!

Best regards,

Dallas B.
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Postby Dallas » Sat Mar 06, 2010 7:05 pm

Whenever my Self has tried to battle with my Self-Centered-ness... my Self always loses the fight. :wink:

I'm grateful, that through the Steps, when I get to Step 10, I have ceased fighting anyone and anything -- including my Self.

The only thing I've discovered so far, that seems to work every time I try it, is: Surrender. And, then immediately launch into action to do something for someone else.

Your message is right on.

Whenever I'm thinking about my Self -- I'm Self-Centered. Me me me.

Whenever I'm doing something for someone else without thinking about my Self -- I get a break from my Self-centered-ness.

What I've always thought was a strange paradox is: there is no way of entirely getting rid of Self-centeredness -- without God's help. This is one of those areas for me, where "I can't" but "we can."

Dallas
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