- What to do? Help.

What to do? Help.




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What to do? Help.

Postby Tom M » Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:51 am

My "home group" I feel is not much of an AA group anymore. We have addicts comming in during closed meetings, chairing the meetings sometimes, ripping on AA/the Big Book/the steps/and people who are trying to live by the program. They also refuse to leave and only come to open meetings, because they have this misguided notion that they belong there. One even lied and said he had a drinking problem only when he was pressured to leave.
I don't know what to do about this. I think my first step is to find an AA meeting that is for alcoholics somewhere else. It pains me to give up this group because it did help me in my first year, but it seams like it hurting my recovery.
Suggestions needed please.
Tom M
Oshkosh, WI
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Postby Dallas » Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:50 pm

Hello Tom! I understand. I probably don't need to say more than that about it.... other than I understand. :wink:

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate you. Keep coming back.

Dallas
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A. A. Recovery

Postby knny913 » Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:51 am

Hi Tom,
In Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, we read that the only thing it takes to start a meeting is a coffee pot and a resentment. I understand your concerns. We have had District Inventories over the same matters, there are quite a few writings on the subject. The fact is, is that the more recovered some alcoholics get the more their Egos get in their way (in my opinion). I hear in meetings when some people introduce themselves they say " My name is _____, and I'm an alcoholic and an addict.", see the ego at work?, it is as if they think they are one up on the "normal" alcoholic. Or that they are still "Pink Clouding" and think they are now in a position to save the world. (In my opinion). I realize that there are lots more alcoholics that also did drugs nowdays, in my case it was because alcohol just wasn't doing the trick for me and I knew by taking drugs that most likely it would step it up a notch. My real problem was that I was so full of Vodka that I had no more room for the alcohol and or drugs to work. My problem then and still is now that I am an alcoholic. That is all I can relate to and those are the only people I can share my experience, strength, and hope with.
I see that there are at least 27 meetings in Oshkosh, WI, I would personally go to other meetings. After all we had to quit playing God. Pg 103 "we have stopped fighting anybody and anything. We had to."
The world still revolves without us, and my sobriety is only as fit as I keep it, Spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Good Luck, it's not worth drinking over.
Your Friend,
Kenny
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Postby GeoffS » Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:43 am

AA meetings go in cycles. Strong meetings get diluted, disjointed meetings get pulled together and strengthened, big meetings grow small, small meetings need to move to bigger venues!! Stick around you'll see it all, and it won't take long. Luckily we can usually find another meeting.

Loyalty to a meeting is great, but if keeping going is starting us down the road to resentment, then maybe leaving is safer.

Accept the things you cant change - the meeting and those there are what they are.

Change the thing you can - find a new meeting

Wisdom to know the difference, ask the HP.

You never know maybe through that meeting changing, people will leave and other meetings will strengthen?
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Re: A. A. Recovery

Postby Tim » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:27 am

knny913 wrote: I hear in meetings when some people introduce themselves they say " My name is _____, and I'm an alcoholic and an addict.", see the ego at work?, it is as if they think they are one up on the "normal" alcoholic. Or that they are still "Pink Clouding" and think they are now in a position to save the world. (In my opinion).


You're on to something here, Kenny. I had never thought of it before, but it does seem that many of those who add anything beyond--"I'm an alcoholic" are not being humble but egotistic. For Pete's sake, it's an AA meeting, and we all have other issues, but we're here to talk about recovery from alcoholism. At my home group we inserted a statement in our introduction to remind people to confine themselves to talking about issues related to alcoholism. That said, it's a rare AA meeting nowadays where someone doesn't add "...and an addict" to their introduction.
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Postby GeoffS » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:50 am

If people identify as an alcoholic and an addict then greet them as such...

Hi I'm Bill W and I'm an alcoholic/addict

Hi Bill!!! Hi Bill!!!

only polite isn't it?
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Postby butch » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:03 pm

i feel that GeoffS is correct. in our rural area we do not have the availability of lots of meetings so we have individuals who go to both aa and na. at the tables i attend, all are greeted warmly as we all are in recovery for addictions. at treatment in valley hope, all addictions were treated the same. I learn how to live life better from all who attend and hope that what i share is helpful to some. He loves us all and with His help we can remain sober and/or drug free.
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Postby Tim » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:37 pm

butch wrote:i feel that GeoffS is correct. in our rural area we do not have the availability of lots of meetings so we have individuals who go to both aa and na. at the tables i attend, all are greeted warmly as we all are in recovery for addictions. at treatment in valley hope, all addictions were treated the same. I learn how to live life better from all who attend and hope that what i share is helpful to some. He loves us all and with His help we can remain sober and/or drug free.
butch


You're right. In AA our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics/drug addicts/gamblers/overeaters/self abusers/etc achieve sobriety. We in AA welcome them all to our meetings. It's all the same.
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Postby GeoffS » Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:33 pm

Tim wrote:
butch wrote:You're right. In AA our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics/drug addicts/gamblers/overeaters/self abusers/etc achieve sobriety. We in AA welcome them all to our meetings. It's all the same.


Do you mean we'll help all those others with their specific problems all we'll help them with alcoholism if they are alcoholic AND something.

I wouldn't know where to start helping a drug addict. I have no identification with drug stories. None. I can sympathise and appreciate their useful information. But I can't see how one alcoholic talking to one drug addict might work?

The idea of 'its all one disease of addiction' stemmed from a rehab in early days that only had one bus to collect all the alkies/druggies etc.

I do not for a minute say we should exclude anyone from our program or meetings, of course not. It says in the big book that our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. Nothing further. No add-ons no caveats. If that alcoholic happens to be a gambler/addict etc as well then they and I will identify and can help each other. If they are an addict and not an alcoholic, we're not going to identify and probably can't help too much.
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A.A. Recovery

Postby knny913 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:05 pm

Good Evening,
Looks like I unknowingly started something here :roll: :shock:.
Butch, I too live in a rural area, closest meeting 40 miles away, and we have open meetings allowing all addictions, but in most of the meetings do have the statement in the opening format "this is an open meeting of Alcoholics, we welcome you if are not Alcoholic, we ask you not to share."
Our district is now in the midst of dicussing some of the issues we are having with the meetings that allow anybody to share. Are they actually AA meetings? and can they be sanctund by GSO? I know Bill W experimented with LSD in the 70's while he was looking for that Spiritual Experience he had while in the hospital, and I always wondered why he never renounced his sobriety date. But, as the reply I always hear, is that is his or anybody elses right to decide if they want to. Although he had written about it, he never (to my knowledge) brought it up in meetings.
I would find it difficult to ever turn my back on anybody seeking help from their addiction, my son in law has a sexual addiction, and because he has seen how AA has helped me, he attends SA, and (whether I want to or not) is always confiding in me about his program, knowing that I cannot break his anonymity to either my wife or daughter, how sick is that? But he and I know that neither one of us when it comes to brass tacks, truely understands each others problems. And although they might have a common solution, "a loving God, as we understand him", we cannot communicate in a way that either one can totally understand.
The best I (we) can do is to share our experience and try to point them in the right direction.
I really enjoy reading everyones posts, I like to read GeoffS, he always has some good input.
Have A Great Evening
Your friend in sobriety
Kenny
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