Have you taken her to any large "Open" - "Speaker meetings"?
While some discussion meetings will let her in -- I highly do NOT suggest those. Be sure it's the biggest speaker meeting you can find.
Also, has she tried Al-Anon? That could help.
Other than that, sometimes, we need to sit down with them and let let them know the seriousness of our condition. If we had cancer... would they want us to avoid the doctor or not go to the doctor just so we could sit around with them? Comparable with other major conditions -- alcoholism leads to more fatalities than most.
Perhaps, leaving a few pamphlets around the house that discuss the serious nature of alcoholism ... not suggesting they read them... "they are for you"... they will often pick them up and look at them when you're not looking and read them.
Another suggestion: Get some AA speaker tapes, CDs, or mp3 downloads that you can play. Just listen to them yourself and they will often be listening in the background. Use a mix of funny speakers and some not so funny speakers. Often, what you'll find on the CDs, tapes, or mp3 files... will be speakers that have spoken at large meetings or conventions. And, they'll have a strong message that holds attention. This is ideal if there are no large speaker meetings near you.
Another suggestion is: If there is an AA convention or round up near by... get your spouse to attend it with you. These have been known to get them as interested in AA and your recovery as you are.
Once they fully understand what you're up against -- "if" -- they really do care for you -- they will want the best for you.
I've heard it said that "love" is often wanting more of what's best for our loved one -- than we want of what's best for us.
If you need help picking out some speakers for tapes, CDs or downloads, let us know. We can send the info to you by Private Message, as to where to get them and our suggestions that you can try.
One suggestion (off the top of my head) is Father Martin. He did some talks and a book called "Chalk Talks". Chalk Talks about alcoholism, where he uses a blackboard to demonstrate his talk. They have videos of him on YouTube and Facebook... if you want to watch those.. and they are good... your spouse may take an interest in seeing them also (or at least snoop from in the background to see what you're watching
Let me know if you want help finding them and I'll help. I'm sure that others here in the forum will help you find some good ones too.
I hope that helps