God's will for me -- as I discovered it in the Big Book is:
1. Stay sober.
2. Trust God
3. Clean up the wreckage of my past and present.
4. Help others. (I can't help others if -- I'm still hurting them).
5. Live a sober life -- with sanity, serenity, happy, joyous and free.
When I wake up and pray in the morning... asking ONLY for the knowlege of God's will for me and the power to carry it out... that list of five -- is always at the top of my list. Which means He has already given me the knowlege of His will for me.... I had it before I asked for it!
The power to carry it out? He already gave me that, too -- provided I stay close to Him -- He will provide what I need.... "if" I'm taking the actions.
The guidance from Him... that's what I'm really looking for... one day at a time, and one moment at a time... one breath at a time, and one heart beat at a time.
The guidance is what He gives me -- is what is automatically being given to me, when I reach Step 10. But, I shouldn't expect any guidance, sanity, serenity, peace of mind, or even happiness and joy... until I get to Step 10.... By getting to Step 10... I didn't even have to fight off the temptation of alcohol... because the problem, my obsession with alcohol, has been removed for me -- it happens automatically.
Also, when I got to Step 10, I discovered... that "my will" that I turned over to God in Step 3, was returned to me from God... at Step 10. At Step 10, I discovered, that I was to use my will -- and my brains in my every day living. Also, at Step 10, God gave me some Powers... that I could begin to use in my life to live life more effectively, more productively, and intuitively.
At Step 11... I discovered that I was supposed to start having a plan for my life... and planning my life, and that He would guide me... in carrying out those plans.
That's about all I know about God's will for me.
My will -- I discovered in "at" Step Three... was "my thoughts, my wants, my desires"... My life... was: "my actions... and the total results of my actions."
So, if my sponsor asked me now, "what is God's will for you?" I'd simply give him my list of Five.
If my sponsor asked my what "my will" is currently... I would give him my list of Five.
By doing this and by living this way... I discovered, that now... as a result of "taking the Steps" my will for me and God's will for me -- are the same thing!
I couldn't make those discoveries and have those things happen to me by "practicing the 12 Steps." I tried it that way -- and I simply ended up drunk again, and unable to get sober again.
However, when I was given another chance at sobriety... and the opportunity to "do it different than I did it before"... I "took the Steps"... and as a result, of "taking the 12 Steps"... I am now able to live a life, sober, happy, joyous and free, by "practicing the principles that I discovered when I took the 12 Steps."
I discovered that there is a "HUGE DIFFERENCE" in "taking the Steps" and "practicing the principles of the 12 Steps."
I also discovered... that most people, just like me... will NOT be able to really grasp and understand fully -- what I just wrote about "the difference of taking the 12 Steps and practicing the principles of the 12 Steps" until AFTER they have "taken the Steps."
This is normal. Why? Because most of whatever I thought I understood "before" the Awakening that takes place at "Step 12"... I had to throw out with the trash. It was loaded full of my "old ideas" that were infecting the new ideas that I was getting.
Why and how does this relate to the original question, regarding "will" above, and "Step 3"?
1. Everything that we need to know about "self-will" is told to us on page 60, at the bottom of the page.
2. If we want to satisfy our curiousity... we can read from the bottom of page 60 up to 63.
Question: "What is self-will"
Answer: "MY - thoughts, desires, and wants." (what I think).
So, if I look at the bottom of page 60 again, I see the warning...
"I will not be able to be successful... or live my life successfully... "SOBER" by using "my existing thoughts" (my will).
My existing thoughts -- that I had at "Step 3"... had to be tossed out completely and absolutely. I couldn't do this on my own. Self cannot fix Self. So, I had to have God's help. And, "how" did God help me? "God gave ME the tools to use" (His 12 Steps) to bring about a "transformation of my thoughts and attitudes" (my will) so that I could recover.
If that doesn't make sense -- don't expect it to make sense.
It's NOT about thinking -- IT'S ALL about actions!
Dallas
