- Fellowship Friends Sickness, Death, & Dying

Fellowship Friends Sickness, Death, & Dying




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Fellowship Friends Sickness, Death, & Dying

Postby Bensober » Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:19 am

Don't mean to sound morbid. Last night my best friend in who has always been there for me almost died. He is now in intensive care on life support and hopefully he is going to be ok. I was so busy pulling family together, that I haven't really got in touch with how I feel and where I need to go in my head or heart on this. Was wondering how you all deal with these types of events in our personal recovery? I've been attemting now to just focus on the love I feel for him. I know that it is good. I also feel helpless!
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby Dallas » Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:32 pm

I've been in that situation a few times and I understand how difficult it can sometimes be. Sorry to learn of your best friend.

What I do when I go through it is: I try to be of service to the family while the doctors are being of service to the patient. That keeps me out of my head. My head will be telling me all kinds of stuff to make me feel horrible... and it will make me thing I've got a reason to get thirsty.

I stay in close contact with my AA friends and sponsor. Sometimes, I'll go to more meetings than normal. Make sure I have an updated list of numbers that I can call.

Most often, I can't do anything for the person that is suffering. But, I can always find something to do for someone in the family or friends, that will keep me out of my head.

Best wishes for you and your friend.

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby GeoffS » Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:35 pm

Very important at this kind of time is to not allow yourself to get to thirsty, hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

To help with this, as Dallas suggested, and you seem to be doing, in being of service to the family and friends take them cups of tea etc and bring them a sandwich, and get into the way of grabbing a bite on the way to meetings. Its easy to get into trouble by forgetting our very basic needs in times of high emotion and stress.

Sorry to hear your news.
GeoffS
 
Posts: 365
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:55 pm
Location: Australia

Postby Bensober » Wed Apr 07, 2010 11:39 am

Thanks for the support. Yes his son hadn't showered in several days so took him outa there last night to rest and shower. You have know idea how much your reinforcement helps secure what I [b]DO[/b] need to be doing!
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby sunlight » Wed Apr 07, 2010 5:44 pm

Just learned that my cousin is dying from pancreatic cancer.

I suspect that he is one of those who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program.

Which brings me to my question:

What does it mean to completely give myself to this simple program?
What am I doing today to completely give myself to this simple program?

Right now I'm too stunned with the news of my cousin to answer this, but stay tuned.....

sunlight
sunlight
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:23 am

My answer, when I ask myself those questions is:

I do the best that I can do -- to do the best that I can do -- and that's all that I can do.

And, then I try to accept that, do that, let it go, and keep on moving on.

For me... it's "Give it my best efforts to at least try, and to make my best effort ... to trust God, clean house, and help others, and follow the directions that I find -- when I find them."

It helps me to remember -- (but not use it as an excuse) -- that I can't even do that, without God's help. So, I try the best I can. Sometimes I make it. Most times I screw up. I accept it and keep on moving on.

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby gunner48 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:31 am

When I came to AA , One thing I didn't have in my life was Compassion for my fellow man. I had gone though life looking after number one. Under the direction of the Big Book and my sponsor I worked my way into a new way of thinking and gained compassion for others. Those who stay in recovery will exprierence great lose and many tears will be shed. What a gift to be able to say that I truly cared for and loved that person. The sense of lose is real, a little piece of me is gone.

Each day I get up and make myself available to those that need a smile, laugh or maybe a shoulder to cry on. In the great scheme of things it really doesn't matter which service I can provide as long as I am willing to place myself on the firing line of life.

Currently I have 2 friends that are in bad shape with Hep C, A brother that is recovering from a heart Attack, a friend that went off his meds and is in a mental hospital. Nothing I can do other than be available to them and ask God to bless their lives

Am I completely giving myself to this simple program? The proof is in the pudding. Am I once again thinking only of how I am effected or am I reaching out to be of service. Only I can answer that question but I can answer it. There are 12 questions I ask myself

1. Am I being Honest
2. Am I open minded to new ideas and concepts
3. Am I willing to move forward
4. Have I Humility today
5. Am I free from the bondage of self
6. Am I willing to be the person God wants me to be
7. Am I eager to be that person
8. Do I have compassion for my fellow man
9. Have I forgiviness to other
10 Am I growing in the program
11. Have I accepted your love in my life
12 Am I loving you backl

Peace and Love
gunner48
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:51 pm
Location: Texarkana Texas

Postby Dallas » Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:21 pm

Great answer w/ great sharing gunner!!! Thank you!
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Bensober » Fri Apr 09, 2010 7:21 am

I'm letting my mind think..."the answer is in the questions"... that I read above. I go to meetings and get your support and I come home alone and your hear with me. What was it in you that allowed this to begin through a heart-finger tips-souls.
I was told last night along with all of the other complications of whats happened to Danny is that he had a massive stroke to the left side of his brain and if and when he gets off life support basically communication is "out the door". I rufuse to interprett right now...it just hurts so much. I'm sitting here wondering what all of your faces look like, what our connection really means, how in giving my self to this simple program I feel held. I hope this doesn't bother you how much I need to have your closeness right now. I was known in the 70's as a pretty tough dude, an O'le biker that was "contracted down" Reality is that's B$#@@^* S(**&&^%...and never was me neither was it my friend. Part of whats happening is to run from the gift of fellowship, friendship, and support. I know I have to and deep inside want to do the opposite.
I've copied and pasted you on a word document so when I'm not around "sisfellowtrippers" you are easily available to not me... but my sobriety.

Here WE Go...

Ben H.
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby Dallas » Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:35 pm

Ben, I'll send you my phone number in a private message. Call any time, any day, and hour. We are with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit.

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Next

Return to Help for alcoholics who want to stay sober

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Fellowship Friends Sickness, Death, & Dying