Ben, the tears do us good. It reminds us that we're human, and that we still have a heart, and that we're good people that care deeply. So, just let them flow! I was so numb before I got sober that I hadn't cried in years. I was embarrassed when I broke down crying in front of my sponsor, and then in a meeting. Naturally, my head was thinking about me and thinking "Oh crap! These people will think I'm no longer a man! Crying like this!" ... And, they showed me where I was wrong about it and encouraged me to cry -- they said it was being honest with myself, honest w/ my feelings, and willing to be vulnerable enough to trust someone and something other than myself. I'll bet they regret it now... Now, I really have to watch it, because the tears just seem to automatically well up inside me and gush out -- when I start thinking of all that God has given to me through AA and the Fellowship of AA.
I've got my phone plugged in and charging so that it's ready when and if you call.
Just remember -- we care about you. We need you to be here for us, too, and for the new guys that come after us. So, cry, yell, kick or scream... that's all okay for times like this -- but, it's not alright to drink or to do anything that could hurt yourself.
BTW: Last time I checked... "He" is still "working through others"... When He shows up at my door... it's always, as far as I can tell... in the body of a man, woman, or dog!!! Don't forget the dogs! They are God's agents just as much as any man or woman is! So, if a stray strays across your porch or up to your door... Remember, He's making a call on you! Dogs are God's dogs... and often, He uses them as His angels.