hi, and good grief...

[wichitastraw]

new here!

me- 1 1/2 yrs sobriety, working through 4th step; almost done

i'm recently separated from my wife of 10 years. she is not sober. we are fairly amicalbe but divorce is a certainty.

throughout my sobriety i have met many wonderful people. i'm a bit of a flirt but pretty harmless overall. i realize that i'm both way to green in sobriety and my separation to even think about relationships. i know this.

and then i met her. we met in AA (of course) and a group of us would all go have fellowship after a meeting. we talked and laughed a lot. she was one of many pretty girls that i talk and flirt w/ on a regular basis. again, i neither want or need a relationship w/ anyone but myself and god right now.

about 3 weeks ago she and i were talking after a meeting and i swear to god something happend. it felt like i was hit by a lightning bolt. i'm sure she could see these heart shaped mushroom clouds in my eyes. i totally fell for her. head over heels. rediculous. i was/am swimming in crush. a crush like i havent had since gradeschool. its totally irrational but soooo real. i asked her out. she very kindly declined, and then we talked and laughed into the night. i guess one thing that makes me feel better about all of this is that she is a very kind and cool person. she was very kind and compassionate to her new puppy love struck friend.

my feelings are starting to mellow. thank god.

i sure wasnt expecting anything like this to happen. dang.

i'm sure it's testament to my recovery that i havent completely gone off the deep end over this. i can sit with my feelings and be o.k with it.

[Dallas]

Hello Witchita! I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your experience! I understand!!!

I always say: If you really want to understand and be able to help an alcoholic -- (or, yourself, if you are one) -- take some courses in Child Psychology. You'll learn all you need to know!

Us Alkies are real child-like in our emotions and how we respond to outside stimulus. We feel more than the average or normal bird out there. I think part of it has to do w/ our hyper-sensitvity.

If you ask me -- what you're experiencing is normal for a 1 1/2 year old. And, I'd tell you that it's also normal for a 23 1/2 year old Alkie, too. However, it wouldn't be normal for matured grown up non-alcoholic.

I enjoy the fun and the feelings of being a child -- but, life says to me, that if I want to become more effective in my living and communicating with the outside world -- and stay sober -- I've got to find a way to at least "act as if" I were a mature, normal, non-alcoholic adult. And, trust me... THAT AIN'T EASY!!!

I have to constantly remind myself of Rule #62: Don't take myself too seriously! Relax and take it easy.

If I don't do that -- I'll end up clobbering the heck out of myself and beating myself up over things that I do... that may not be so good for me to be doing!

You're in the right place... Why? It may not do so much for you, but you sure help me -- to feel so "not alone and not unique".

Keep coming back! I appreciate you.

Dallas