- Sponsee on Step 5

Sponsee on Step 5




Discussions related to Sponsors, Sponsoring, Working with others,

Sponsee on Step 5

Postby cajunbam » Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:30 am

Hey Dallas, Keith & all,

My sponsee is on step 5 and I'm a bit anxious about it as he is my first. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

Peace,
Brian
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Location: McDonough, GA - about 605.09 miles from Cajun Field

Postby Dallas » Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:55 pm

Hello Brian, I understand. I was a bit nervous, too -- the first time I was taking another guy through the Steps. Here is what I would do:

1. To be "on Step 5"... is a really dangerous place to be for an alkie. If they wait, delay, or hold back something that needs to be shared -- our book says they will drink again, and that for them to drink again, they will die. This is why it's not a good idea to be on this Step for very long at all!

2. I'm assuming, that you've already done your 5th Step. If you haven't done it, then you should speak to your sponsor right away about this. If you did do it -- and it worked for you, and you've stayed sober for a while and got through the other 7 steps, and you are reasonably sane and happy while sober -- then, just do precisely what your sponsor did with you, and you'll be alright.

3. In either case, above... it's always best to re-read the instructions for Step 5, in the Big Book. I suggest staying away from the 12 & 12. It will confuse you and the new guy and it won't offer any lasting help, in regards to taking the Steps. The 12 & 12 is a book for those that "think about" taking the Steps -- and the BB is for those that "DO" take the Steps.

Re-read those instructions in the BB, and then ask if there is anything that isn't crystal clear to you.

I make it a practice, to personally go through the Steps again, each time I take a new person through the Steps. It keeps me tuned up and so far, it seems to be helping me stay sober.

Best regards,

Dallas
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Postby cajunbam » Tue Apr 27, 2010 2:38 pm

Dallas,

Thanks for replying.

I did my 5th step with my counselor, but not the Big Book way. Can't be done in two 45 minute sessions. I am working now with a new sponsor and re-working the steps along with my sponsee. I agree with you that it is a good thing. This is my second time working the steps since September '09.....

Peace,
Brian
cajunbam
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:11 pm
Location: McDonough, GA - about 605.09 miles from Cajun Field

Postby Dallas » Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:01 pm

I appreciate you Brian! And, my hand is always extended out to you if I can help. And, it's extended out to you if you don't need help, too. We're on the same path, members of the Same Society and brothers in the same common condition. I care about you.

Please keep me updated on what you do, what you're doing and how well it works out. Thinking about you and how you're doing -- helps me keep my mind off of me and how I'm doing! :wink:

Dallas
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Postby cajunbam » Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:29 am

Dallas,

I talked at some length yesterday afternoon with my grandsponsor and he said I felt like I was already trying to get all the answers and play God. He told me that all I needed to do was help the sponsee see his part in his step 4 and how that led him to defective actions in his life. He also reminded me to pray about it and to bring God with me to the meeting. That is funny, I just heard one of my dad's former sponsees tell me that my dad always told him to bring God with him where ever he went. Seems like these days, I'm "hearing" and listening to my dad more now than I pretty much ever have. :shock: And, trying harder to hear and listen to my big Dad in the sky, too - you know the One, the Great Physician!!! :D

Peace,
Brian
cajunbam
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:11 pm
Location: McDonough, GA - about 605.09 miles from Cajun Field

Postby Dallas » Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:27 pm

I understand cajunbam! Thank God, for sponsors and Grand-sponsors!

Best wishes to you and your new guy!

Dallas
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Sponsee at Step 5

Postby jreads » Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:35 pm

Thanks to you all for the discussion above. It has all been really helpful. My sponsee, my first in a while, is ready for Step 5, and he is doing really, really well. However, he is very young, and I am feeling really OLD (he is 20; I am 55), and I really want to get it done right. My sponsor tells me I am doing fine, and cautions me against loading myself with responsibility for his success...my pledge is that I want AA to be there. His success is between him and his higher power. The grand-sponsor idea was new to me like a day or two ago, and I really like it!

Jim
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Postby Ranman99 » Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:17 am

Thanks guys for the read just checking in.

I have taken 3 guys through the 5th since I started sponsoring about last Sept. They annoy me a bit becuase they behave like me ... I digress.

After the first guy I stumbled upon a really good reference on the book by Milt L. I more like his talk on the 4th from this as I don't think you need to book a weekend to do the 5th but for a pretty interesting set of recordings try:

www_dot_xa-speakers_dot_org and search for: dumb guy

the _dot_ above should be replaced with a .
just avoiding entering the actual link

There should be 4 recordings. After you get through it once and get used to Milt's kind of annoying delivery style you grow to love this guy.

For me also big book way is the only way though I have had a notion now to immediatly do the 12 and 12 after getting through the steps once as a review strategy to keep the guy on track. i.e. no diploma more WORK.

"I'm sure there's 10001 ways to get sober. I only have experience on this one;-)"

Ciao,
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Sponsee on Step 5