- It's not about me

It's not about me




Discussions related to Sponsors, Sponsoring, Working with others,

It's not about me

Postby 918gma » Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:50 am

I have been getting lax about calling my sponsor every day.
Out of minutes on cell
Too late
Too early
Too tired.
Too busy

Horse pucky. This program works for a reason. The reason is we need to become disciplined. We need each other. We need the Book, and we need our HP.

When your sponsor tells you some thing to do, there is a reason for it, that was directly associated with their own sobriety and the program. IE...call me every day. Didn't say when the #%^ hits the fan, or to brag because your doing some thing right. Not once a week or when you have time, she said call me every day.

The reason she said it, wasn't just because of me, it helps her too. By talking to me it keeps her head in the program. Her and her Husband suffered a loss of a family member during a spell of me not calling and I didn't even know about it because I was TOOOOOOOOO.

What I'm saying is we have a responsibility to our sponsors to do what they ask, because there is a reason they asked it. We don't need to know or understand the reason, just do it. :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
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Postby Dallas » Thu Jan 26, 2006 7:45 am

It was so refreshing recently for me to read, Chapter 6, Step 6, in the 12 & 12. Dang!!! How could I still have all those character defects and short comings... that I had prayed and asked God to remove from me?

At the end of many meetings, after the closing prayer, often, a circle of members can be heard chanting "It works IF you work it."

My unaided will power will not keep me away from the next drink... and perhaps, this limitation becomes a weakness to the point of thinking that MY will power is useless.

However, it takes ALL of my will power that I can muster, each day, to keep doing what I need to keep doing.... which keeps me away from the next drink.... let alone to take the actions that are required to change my mind, attitude, character, and personality.... and to keep them changed.

Recovery is a full time job of taking right actions. It takes ALL of my will power to take right actions. And, it takes MY consistent EFFORT to make progress. And, I can pursue full time recovery or end up with part time sobriety.

So often, in the 12 & 12, and in the Big Book, Bill warns about "resting on our laurels" and what happens if we do.

I never get calls between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. from those who are in to full time recovery. Those hours are reserved for those who either obtained so much faith, and got so much grace, and their sobriety was such a free gift, and they had such an overwhelming God-consciousness, that they found it unnecessary to take the actions... to recover. Evidently, they thought that God was going to be taking those actions for them.

Their program is often, something like "Go to lots of meetings... Just let go and let God ... and acceptance is the answer to all their problems."

At 4 a.m. in the morning, when the phone rings.... I know from experience that it's one who is at the "jumping off place"... one, who has been letting go of a problem... rather than resolving a problem, and the problem has now ended up smacking them in the head like it was on the other end of a bungie cord... Or... it's from one who has been accepting all the things that they should have been working to change.

I'll tell ya!!! I thank God that I have a mean, old, kick-ass sponsor... that if I called him at 4 a.m. telling him I was going to slit my wrist or take a drink... as a result of me not taking right actions... and that I had not been calling him at my designated times... he is loving and would show me real love by saying something to me like:

"Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour? I'm not your sponsor. You've proved that by the actions you've been taking! I suggest you call on whomever or whatever you've been calling... when you were supposed to be calling your sponsor!"

He will also remind me that "when you don't take the right actions... it doesn't affect my life... it affects your life."

Tough love and it's real.

Enjoy the miracles

Dallas
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Thank you

Postby 918gma » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:19 am

I won''t say I think I got it this time, cause every time I do I loose it again.

I will say that I am learning from my mistakes which make them learning experiences and not mistakes.

For today, I will stick with the plan because the plan works, where other ideas have not.

It really is the easier softer way, if you do it and not fight it. :roll: :roll:
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Postby Dallas » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:59 pm

If I haven't defined what "It" is... I don't know if I have "It" had "It" lost "It" or have more "Its" than I wanted!

It would be difficult to enjoy the miracle if I didn't know what the miracle is.

Have you ever been intently looking for something, going through drawers, pockets, looking all over the place... and suddenly, like coming out of a sober blackout... ask yourself "What was It... that I was looking for? Now, I've forgotten what I was looking for!"

If that's ever happened to you, then you understand, relate and identify.

If it hasn't happened to you, it would be difficult for someone to explain it to you.

I call them "Mental-Slips-Of-Consciousness." Someone else may call it "memory lapse." Another might say "Oh. No big deal. I just forgot."

Perhaps it's all about perception. And, maybe, that's why it's a good idea once in a while, to step back and reflect... and ask yourself what you mean by "It"?

It would be sad to live a long life of feeling unique, separate, different, afraid, lonely, and thinking that "I lost It"... or "I never had It" ... or "I had it, lost it, and lived the rest of my life not aware that I had it again" when It was nothing more than a thought!

Dallas
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Postby MichalF » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:52 am

... those who either obtained so much faith, and got so much grace, and their sobriety was such a free gift, and they had such an overwhelming God-consciousness, that they found it unnecessary to take the actions... to recover. Evidently, they thought that God was going to be taking those actions for them.

Their program is often, something like "Go to lots of meetings... Just let go and let God ... and acceptance is the answer to all their problems."


Do you know me? How do you know me so precisely? :)
It relats to a period of my recovery, when I was hardly doing program and my attitude was excactly like this!
God saved my life on time.
I had not to pay the highest bill for my light-heartedness.
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AA sponsormforum

Postby knny913 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:05 am

Hi all,
I was always taught that if I sit on my laurels on top of the mountain I just climbed, the only way I could slide is down. :o If I'm lucky I can catch my higher power's hand before I reach the bottom again.
I've missed you guys, been in alot of district related meetings, hopefully I'll be able to spend more time with the forum this week.
Your friend in sobriety,
Kenny
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Postby john1977 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:32 pm

I know that this is a 12-step recovery forum, but does anyone find it necessary to get out of their element and go to inpatient rehab? Veritas Villa is the place i went, and they employ the 12-step program too. I think I wouldnt have stood a chance trying to be sober without first leaving behind the environment that i drank in.
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