Prayer & Meditation:
I don't like to pray.
(At least I'm honest about it).
Most of the time that I pray -- is because:
a. I have a really big problem -- that's too big for me to handle.
b. I need some special guidance with something difficult.
c. Because I've been instructed that "I must do it."
When nothing big is going on -- it seems to be a natural stretch for me to pray. I don't want to do it.
But, it doesn't matter what I want -- I must do it -- so I do it.
I realize that this is "not the proper attutude" -- that is referred to in Step 11, so -- I have to work at it -- and have had to work at it for a long time. It's been like exercise and working out.
I'm a great starter but a poor finisher -- so it requires constant discipline.
With meditation: I can see and feel and experience the benefits almost immediately when I do it. (Getting it now!)
So -- it's easier for me to do it.
What's funny to me -- is that I seem to be wired backwards to most folks that I talk to about it. They enjoy prayer and get more out of it -- and the proper attitude about prayer -- seems to come to them like ducks are attracted to water. And, meditation -- they don't like it or they don't get anything out of it.
Maybe it's an individual thing. Perhaps, God knows that I need to spend more time -- taking more actions -- than I do in praying. (Sometimes, I'd almost swear it's His voice in my head that says "Get up off your knees and off your ass -- and get to work! I've got a lot on your list that I want done today!" )
And, with the meditation -- I could almost swear that it's His voice in my head that says "Wait! I'm not finished yet! You haven't received all my guidance and direction. So, be still and wait!" -- and, I can easily say "Well, no problem God! I kind of enjoy the waiting! Can I take a nap when you're finished?"