DUI

[tim-one]

Sister Y,

I don't like talking about others even if I keep it anonymous. But I do have another AA sister who has currently been going through a DUI case. Thought I might share what's happening to her. Might be encouraging to you. It's up to you how you take it. She's a wonder to me, much like the honor of watching your trip.

This girl (sorry - I'm old and she's younger than me. To this Texas boy, she's a girl ) ... Anyway, this girl came to our group about 60 days ago with her court-ordered meeting log sheet to be signed.

At that time, there was a Step12.com discussion here about goofy people who come to meeting because of court order and not because they DESIRE to stop drinking. I had my opinion and there were others just as valid.

This girl was totally broken down and very emotional. Afeared for her life as she knew it. She immediately shared her fear and her conviction that "This is enough. I've had it. Something's got to change. And I'm convinced it's got to be my drinking that has to go. How in hell do y'all do it??!!!" (pretty much like that).

Incredible sincerity and humiliation. SOOOOO beat down.

she kept coming back, not to get her sheet signed, but to save her life. She immediately got a sponsor and has grilled everyone for their experience, strength, and hope. She caught on quickly, though with great trepidation, that her DUI was a rightful consequence of her drinking. It might not go away. she might get slapped with the max. In Texas, the max is QUITE dramatic for DUIs.

BUT, she was convinced that, no matter what happens, she can stay sober through it IF she does what AA tells her to do AND trusts her Higher Power to do the right thing even if she doesn't like it.

She says that somebody expressed and her HP impressed to her that IF she put's the outcome in God's hands and trusts that whatever the outcome is that she can not only stay sober, but can be a powerful influence of god's grace and power. If she gets out of her delima, it will be by HP's mercy and she will have a powerful testimony of what He can do for anyone. If she goes to jail, she can rest assured that someone she meets there needs her help and she will have a powerful testimony of what He can do for anyone.

I wish everyone could see the light come on in her face. What a wonder !

Since she started comng back, her face has brightenned more every day. Her trial keeps getting delayed. The judge keeps giving her time to prove her change of heart. It's so obvious that she does NOT want to repeat her offence. He's noticed that she's really doing everything she can to change her mind and behavior.

Her probation officer goes to bat for her in court expressing that he's hardly ever seen such a real improvement and effort in any of his "clients". The deal isn't over with yet, but it's so obvious that she really is changing and is not merely trying to stay out of jail.

She's such an encouragement to our group that she has already been chairing the meeting for a this month (60 days sober). She now seems so bright and fearless. She' working the hell out of her steps. She volunteers for everything.

MAN, what a difference !

I'm picking up on the same intensity, self-examination, and humble submission in your story. I went over this thread and it's so obvious from your first post to now that something's in you. MUCH more important that what changes around you.

The thing is that nothing will change around you until something changes in you. Change is from the inside out. Your kind of change can't help but to influence the way people and life treat you. But you first.

That's why it's said that your sobriety is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU HAVE TO DO TODAY. It's the ONLY thing that will change the life around you. You can make it more important to stay out of jail, get your job back, fix your marriage, raise your kids, etc. But, I can promise you that, if you don't stay sober and change your mind and stay spiritually fit, you will lose all those things no matter how hard you work on them.

Sobriety first. JOB ONE.

Trust your Higher Power. He knows what He's doing.

Well, that was really long. But I love the story and it's till unfolding. Stay tuned.

You go, girl !

Love,
Tim1

PS: "Trust in [your HP] with all your heart
Lean not to your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him.
And He shall direct your paths."

Works for me.

[the tick]

I'm in California and for me a dui meant:
arrest in front of my 13 year old Son.
4 hours in horrendous "drunk-tank"
Court appearrance to receive sentence.
3 months of weekly DUI school classes
3 months of aa meetings.
1750.00 fine
48 hours in county jail.

[Y]

Dear "the tick"

Thank you for sharing.

My heart goes out to what you went through--having your child see you like that--a drunk tank.. How awful for you to go through that experience.

How long ago was it? Have you drank again?

My DUI was in February of this year.

Since that night I've attended 172 AA meetings, been sentenced to with a fine, 48 hours community service, classes, a breath-thing in my car and a year parole.

I am going to be "evaluated" in a couple of weeks to discuss further "treatment."

Since that night, I have drank a drop. Because now I know WHAT I am--finally of decades and decades--know I am an alcoholic. By getting in my car that night with a 1.72 BAC is something someone WHO IS NOT an alcoholic would do. Iam very clear about what I am and what I must not do--and that is DRINK.

Go to the meetings, keep my mouth shut and listen and DO NOT DRINK. I don't have that option anymore.

But you know what? My life is better. My relationship with my ex-husband and daughter is the BEST it has ever been in our relationship! My rage and self-pity has subsided.

I have a year of monthly fees and whatever else is in ahead of me. I was WRONG in what I did AND I ADMIT it! It is not society's fault--the policeman's fault--or anyones fault but my own! I got it!

But my mantra is DO NOT DRINK. I've never made good decisions and it has NEVER made anything better--just gotten me in trouble.

My thoughts and prayers are with you my sister DUI offender in CA. I sent you blessing from the great state of Utah!

Y

[RichC]

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

First step of many to come.
And the most important.

[Y]

Understood!

[Bensober]

Hey -Y- & All,
Whats great about this post (naw I agree...its really a meeting) and adds value to my recovery today is how it a new comer has brought us so close again. It never, ever, never fails. Most of this group has supported and saved my A*^%&^! in a discussion over a friend who almost died and other sharings that adds purpose, intent, and real meaning to life. I'm so greatful and feel close to you all.

Y, my little contribution here is I go to at least two men's stag meetings a week. In finding a Sponsor (not that its locked in to do it this way), if there are womens stag meetings in your area, its a good place for genders to connect in their own "genderland" as well as have a Sponsor who regularly attends the stag meetings. "Less distractions" and more men-men/women-women intensity and honesty.

We are all gonna live once, at least in this flesh. As I live and wake up more to truths. This meeting is a very important and significant part of this life. We have truly touched each other. Would you like some cream and sugar in your coffee?

Love U All

Ben H.

[Dallas]

I drink my coffee black.

[gunner48]

Hot and black please

[Bensober]

Smell the aroma...its sssssSSSoooooOOOOOooOOOOO..GOOD:-)

[taoofpooh]

I got my DUI a little over a year ago. I've still been drinking, but wanting to get sober. I manage to stay sober a day here and there, but that's about it.

My DUI cost me a week in jail, lost license for a year and then had to get the 'blow and go' installed in my car for a year (I have 5 more months of it). By the time it's gone I've spent roughly $3-4000.

It's cost me more than my DUI now, I lost the most wonderful man that I've ever dated. We're still friends, but he left because of my drinking. I've been severely depressed for about the last year do to many things. I've tried seeing shrinks and meds, but none of it worked.

I'm sober tonight and hope to be all day tomorrow and continuing after that. I haven't been able to get myself to a meeting. I have a hard time being around people I don't know and very seldom even go into a store that I've never been in before. I'll drive out of my way to go to a familiar place. I know I need to go and get a sponsor, but at least this is a start.

Thanks everyone for all you've said, it's helping.