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Postby recovering_mama » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:56 am

Hi!

I am new and so grateful to the program. On Saturday I'll have 21 days. I am so thankful to my dad for giving me my "wake up" call. I could not have confessed without a loving push that I am powerless over alcohol. It was with utter love and support that I was able to see this.

I am still a bit shocked that here I sit. But it's true. My life had become unmanageable. I've got a fabulous husband (who loves the drink...), 2 sons who are 7 & 9, a pretty good career and a master's degree on the go. Ugh. I am taking next semester off to enjoy and delve into recovery.

I am the alcoholic who just wants to PAAAAAAAAAAARTY and found myself bewildered and hungover puking the next day wondering how I managed to get bombed and "what did I say or do and who did I see?"

I have had God intervene-- really, it's true. I feel so blessed to have this burden of trying to MANAGE my alcohol consumption removed from me. I cannot take that first drink, period. I have lost the ability to predict my drinking experience once that first drink hits my lips. It is with utter relief and abandon that I surrender to alcohol. Funny how by surrendering I have somehow gained a massive sense of control over my life...

I'm so glad you are here and that I have joined you. I look forward to getting to know you and recovering with you all.

Best,
/t
recovering_mama
 
Posts: 7
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Location: West Coast of Canada

Postby Tim » Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:28 am

I can relate to your story. In my case, God's intervention was my wife and my employer telling me that I either got sober or I would lose a marriage and a job. I am thankful that I made the right choice and have had a daily reprieve from alcoholism ever since. Life is infinitely better as a result.

One of the paradoxes in AA is that we surrender to win.
Tim
 
Posts: 310
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:34 am

Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:21 pm

Hey Mama! Welcome to the site!!! Glad you found us and that we found you. :wink: Wishing the best for you! Keep coming back!
Dallas
Dallas
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Postby ccs » Sun Jul 11, 2010 11:40 pm

Hi Mamma its great to meet you aswell I hope to hear alot from you it makes my day alot nicer when I learn from you what it is like to be so greatful because sometimes I take things for granted and I need you guys to pull me back into reality

ya know get my feet back on the ground planted firmly in the now :D so I`ll be lookin forward to your posts and getting to know an other sister on the road of happy destiny :D

keep coming back girl I need you

LUV-2-ALL your sister in sobriety Cess. :wink: :wink:
ccs
 
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Location: Tampa Bay Area Fla.

Postby recovering_mama » Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:12 am

I'm back after a one week holiday with NO AA MEETINGS to attend- we went to an island that has a massive population swell in the summer but no meetings which I found disappointing and odd. I was very crabby and edgy by the time we arrived back home. Thankfully I was able to get to a meeting hours after landing back on the home front.

I had 4 weeks yesterday and last night I dreamed I drank a half a beer and then realized what it was. It wasn't a good feeling but it wasn't a drunk dream. I'm still amazed to wake up in the mornings with a clear head and a calm feeling with no wondering about what I did last night or who I saw or what I said... Thank God.

Funny, last night I chatted with a fellow who has 16 years and I commented how bizarre and comfortable it is for me to have just met this guy but to be openly discussing my drinking with him. It is really something to have the elephant in the room busted up by discussing it, acknowledging it etc. I saw my dad yesterday (he is the one who intervened with me) after our holiday and to drop my boys off with him for a week and he asked me how I did and "do you mind my asking?" I don't mind in the least and in fact prefer it being discussed. I am an alcoholic and it's a pretty massive part of my make up at this point in my life. Of my 38 years on the planet I spent 25 of them struggling with booze, regretting my drinking and feeling bad about it-- but having such "fun" along the way!

How open are you with it with acquaintances and friends? What do you tend to say when offered alcohol? I have found I'm being very frank with those I used to drink with-- not necessarily saying I'm going to AA every chance I get but I'm saying I'm an alcoholic and this is the case as I lost the ability to predict my drinking experience. I follow up with "No, I wasn't drinking every day, I wasn't drinking alone... YET. But I would have been had I kept going." Some are baffled by my change but all are supportive-- or at least they are paying lip service to it and time will tell who moves on and who sticks around. I'm okay with cleaning house a bit though as... terrible (???) as that sounds. No, it's not terrible, it's life and growth.

I'm rambling... thanks for reading. Here's to another 24.
recovering_mama
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:48 pm
Location: West Coast of Canada

Postby Dallas » Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:05 pm

Thanks for sharing. Glad you got through the holiday w/ no bruises. :lol:

I'll betcha... that somewhere on that island there were some sober alkies like us. Sometimes, it takes us a while to find them. And, sometimes, even though they are there -- we can't seem to find them.

Your questions:

How open are you with it with acquaintances and friends? You mean in regards to letting them know I don't drink? That I'm a sober alkie? I have no problems w/ it at all. They know -- and are not likely to be asking me if I'd like a drink. :lol: And, sometimes they'll ask questions about sobriety. Sometimes, it turns out to be a 12 Step call down the road, for them, or a friend or family member to them.

What do you tend to say when offered alcohol? I tell them the truth, unless a simple "no thank you" is the best answer.

a. I love it too much. If I had just one -- they wouldn't have enough for me, let alone for them and me. :lol:

b. I have an allergy to alcohol.... just like some people have an allergy to strawberries, milk, or bee stings. It's a very not-normal reaction that could kill me.

c. While I don't recommend this to others to do... I let them know that their drinking doesn't bother me. Matter of fact, I'll buy them a drink or mix one for them. :lol: (previous bar tender and bar owner). :lol: I love to watch 'em drink. I just don't love to watch me drink. Watching me drink would be like watching me die -- and I watched the re-runs of that movie so many times that I never want to see it again! :wink:

d. I also assure them that I'm not anti-alcohol and not anti-drinker or anti-drinking -- as long as it's them or someone other than me doing the drinking. I encourage them to feel comfortable around me, regardless if they're drinking or not.

Funny how some of them will sometimes get blitzed... act like an a-hole and be pure jerks while drinking... and then, judge someone else as being a low-life for smoking tobacco! :lol: :lol: :lol: Or, they'll smoke weed (which the really sober people don't do) ... and they'll bitch and whine and moan and complain about someone else that does something that they don't do. :lol:

Dallas
Dallas
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Posts: 4781
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Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby recovering_mama » Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:30 pm

Thanks Dallas.

So... about marijuana and being an alcoholic. What is the general consensus? That it is mind altering and therefore a no go?

I live in the capital of it all... "BC Bud" and all and I'm curious as I'm no stranger to the stuff. I realize I'm running my own race here but to have people to bounce this off is amazing. Simply amazing.

Muchas gracias amigos!

Tracy
recovering_mama
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:48 pm
Location: West Coast of Canada

Postby Dallas » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:27 pm

Hi Tracy!

Yep. Mary Jane is a no go. :lol: After even 23 1/2 yrs sobreity -- if I took a tiny toke today -- I'd have to change my sobriety date and start all over again. I've watched as some others that had been sober for a while picked up some pot... and they rationalized about it. Then, low and behold some really nasty stuff comes up in their lives. The only one's that I've seen recover were the one's that got honest.

Dallas
Dallas
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Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby recovering_mama » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:05 pm

Ah, Dallas. Damn you. :wink:
Alas, that is the conclusion I arrived at myself. There is no easier, gentler way is there?
recovering_mama
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:48 pm
Location: West Coast of Canada

Postby Ranman99 » Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:24 pm

Hey Mama I know all about Canada's number one cash crop. I can tell you today I am closing in on 22 months 100% clean and sober and after many many years struggle I totally understand why that is important to me. I even toked for two years before my first drunk 8)

Did the mary jane maintenance program many times and low and behold when there was no other option booze was always available :(

I can tell you that Canadians do deserve to get sober becuase we are such kind and loving selfless humble folks :P

I can also sell ice cream to Inuit. ( All you southern folks take note of the politically correct reference) :idea:

Ciao,
Ranman99
 
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