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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby Dallas » Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:53 pm

taoofpooh, thanks for sharing your experience. I understand. I've been there and I relate. It seems like I had thousands of reasons why this deal might work for "them" -- but, my case and my situation was different. And, I probably was different and I'm still different. :wink: But, I had exhaused all of my other options. I had literally tried everything else and the everything else didn't work for me either. I guess I was just up against the wall so hard that I became willing to do things that I didn't want to do, and try to do things that I knew that I couldn't do. I had no other options -- other than to give it a try again -- or just simply die drinking.

I wish you the best. Regardless, of what you choose -- we'll be here for you. And, if we can help -- we will.

Dallas
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Postby Bensober » Fri Jul 16, 2010 7:48 am

Yes Taoofpooh,
Keep coming back! Like Dallas is sharing on the trying part. Part of our principle is to “tryâ€
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Postby taoofpooh » Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:10 pm

Thanks Bensober,

I'm still trying, drank this weekend, but determined to stay sober on work nights. Got to start somewhere I suppose. Thanks again for all the support and I will keep coming back. It's nice not to feel so alone.
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Postby RichC » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:19 pm

taoofpooh wrote:Thanks Bensober,

I'm still trying, drank this weekend, but determined to stay sober on work nights. Got to start somewhere I suppose. Thanks again for all the support and I will keep coming back. It's nice not to feel so alone.


Wanna tell you something Straight Up and Dead Serious.
You CANNOT ween off alcohol.
What will happen is you will start binge drinking on the weekends.
It is a dangerous game that you play and one day you will not wake up after the night before.
Sorry to have to tell you this but I am speaking from experience.
It will become like Russian Roulette every weekend.
The only way to stop is to stop.
Deal with the DT's for a few and have someone close by to help you through it.
Your emotions will be everywhere and you will do anything for another drink.
But have hope it is only temporary. Your body is withdrawing from the way it prepared itself for you to start drinking.
It defends itself against your habits and you need to re-teach it.
But it learns fast and so will you.
After a bit of time you and your body adjust to the new habit and things go much better.

I want you to tell the person that helps you through this that anything you say is the DT's talking.
You will be a SOB about things and will regret a lot of what you say.

Good Luck
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:00 pm

Hey Tao, great to see you. And, thanks for checking in. It's a new day. And, a new week. Keep doing the best that you can do. I understand what Rich wrote. There will come a time to make a different decision. But, that time, for most of us, seems to come when it comes -- if we're lucky and if it comes again.

I'm sure you're probably well aware that you need to stop completely and for good and how fatal it is if you don't. That's the part that really sucks for us. We know this to the bone. We stand in front of our mirror and tell ourselve this over and over and over -- deep inside feeling hopeless, and feeling like we want to break down and cry -- and we hope against hope -- that one day -- it might be different. As we're pouring our next drink -- that thought comes to mind that "God help me. Please. This is killing me and I've got to stop." :cry: And, then another thought comes to mind that "Damn. If I could only get some of these other problems solved -- it might not be so hard to get off this stuff." And, we realize that we need to take that next drink -- just to be able to function well enough to try to solve all those problems.

We've all pretty much done this. Sometimes, a little different, but eventually, it seems like we go through this stage.

For me, what was going on was: I had a bunch of problems. I thought I needed to solve those problems first -- and, then get sober. Because I couldn't manage my life or solve my problems without a few drinks. So, I'd do all I could to control it during really important times. But then, either the pressure would get too high and I'd over-shoot my attempt to control the drinking, or ... nothing unusual would happen -- and I'd just discover myself drunk again in the middle of something important.

I think that's kind of what Rich was writing about. We try to ween off and control. And, sometimes we can do a pretty good job of it. But, it's the other times that screw us! :lol:

Keep coming back. Keep trying and don't give up. Do the best that you can do right now. Because, the best that you can do right now -- is the best that you can do right now -- or, you'd be doing better. If you're anything like me -- the more I beat myself up over it -- the more I drank.

When you get ready to put the plug in the jug and leave it there -- we will be here for you. We can sit with you around the clock if necessary -- and sometimes this is necessary.

We seem to be in some sort of phase in AA -- where many of the meetings don't know what to do about the person that's still drinking and going to the meetings. That's a sad phase to be in. The best place for an alkie to be -- that's still drinking -- is to be in a meeting of AA. If you have trouble finding a meeting that understands -- come back here and let us know. We'll help you find some people that understand and are willing to help.

Best wishes for you,

Dallas
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Postby RichC » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:04 pm

Tao I dont want to scare you off or into thinking it will be too rough.
I am rather blunt sometimes and don't like to sugar coat the reality of things.
Then you will think you are doing something wrong when you are not.
I believe that if you know what to expect you will be better prepared when it happens.
Lord knows I would want to know the reality.
This program is like Dallas says... Yours to take in your way.
When you are ready then you will be ready to take that step.
Take what you need from all comments here from myself or Dallas.
Be prepared for the road ahead and we can help point out the potholes to keep you from falling in.
If you step in you have learned a lesson and we will reach out our hand to help you out.
We wont say we told you so either.
I know I fell in a many a pothole that someone pointed out to me.
If I listened to everything I heard I don't think I would be doing as well today because I need to learn some things the hard way.
And I aint cured by no means.
I MUST take it one day at a time. If I try to take on more than that I will fail for sure.
I do not want that and I know what I will lose if I do.
That keeps me sober one day at a time.

Hey here is one of those Good things I was referring too in my Warning about me post somewhere on here.

One day you realize that your head is clearer.
You can think faster, and with more sensible meaning than before.
It may sound like a little thing, but it is a revelation that will overwhelm you.
Others will notice it too.
Of course they wont realize why exactly this sudden change in you.
But you and we will know why.
That is one of those Moments Of Clarity people speak of.
That's just one of many to come too.
I have had some that I just broke down and cry over.
Perhaps I will share some of them one day.
Those are the times my Higher Power speaks through me.
When needed to help someone help themselves.

Your here.
Step One complete.
Now the next step is yours to make as is all steps ahead of you.
There are a helluva lot of steps between each step of the 12 steps.
And you can do them all.
And you know you can too.
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Postby Bensober » Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:34 am

Rich and Dallas are right on for you Taoofpooh,
It seems we really have to GRAB A HOLD of the energy into these suggestions. Read again and re-read them. The concern is when we are drinking one of us could die! For me and hopefully for you this “raised awarenessâ€
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Postby rgtool68 » Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:10 pm

Hi Y,
I am very new to this site and even mor new to being sober. As for DUI's.. yes multi. i went through 4 in two years when i lived in vegas, even got two in two months. paid a lawyer alot of money the first two and then i was in trouble on the 3-4.. they sentanced me too 12-36 months in prison. but was able to do the dui program for 45 days and then 8 months on house arest. somehow pulled it off and with in 2 months of being off house arest i was out drinking. started with a couple and you know the rest. anyway it has been 15 years sence all that and now i am finally ready to get sober. you should be ok on the dui ,just dont wait to get sober like i did. cost me two greatt wifes and plenty more.... good luck
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Postby Dallas » Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:53 am

Thanks for sharing RG!
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DUI

Postby sober1988 » Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:52 pm

I had a PI, then two subsequent DWIs (last one 28 years ago) and can share that in the electronic age we live in, be honest about those arrests when being subject to background checks for employment. DWI/DUIs are rarely expunged and will be there from now on.

I'm currently being checked (with a fine tooth comb, apparently) and found out today that the PI that I 'forgot' to tell them about from 1976 is on my record. I fessed up to the two DWIs, but left off the PI. I had no idea that a Class C misdeamenor (caliber of a speeding ticket, back then) would still show up. All three arrests were misdeamenors (back then) and I'm so pissed off at myself for leaving that PI off. I just hope it doesn't prevent me from getting my dream job.

I should have known that honesty is the best policy, but that little, tiny alkie brain is still running the show some days and I will apparently always try to find a way to 'beat the wrap'!! How stupid I can be at times. If this can help anyone, then perhaps all is not lost. Well, at least I don't have to drink over it and 22 years of sobriety is no guarantee that we get our brains back. Just kidding, but seriously, be honest on those background checks! I'll let you all know how it turns out, may be a few days before I know if I totally screwed up my chance at the job. KEEP COMING BACK! :oops:
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