Would like some advice on a crazy situation?

[confused]

Okay well long story short, I was with my ex boyfriend for six years...in that time frame he helped me raise my 2 and 5 year old and we also had a baby. The kids are now 3, 7 and 10. He was addicted to alcohol and pills which turned to herion and also a few other drugs. Last Nov. he decided he wanted help and we found him a detox. He did great and was going to meetings twice a day and started a methadone clinic. 5 months into his sobriety I told him he needed to find a job (he very rarely worked), well he found a job working with the Census Bureau but also found himself a 21 year old girlfriend. He is 29 and I'm 31. He came home and told me he needed time and if we stayed together he would relapse...after the fact I found reciepts to restaurants and such then he came clean about her. He now lives with his mother and has had her move there too. He sees our son every other weekend. From what I hear he no longer goes to meetings but is still going to the methadone clinic and is also no longer working. Its like he has completely replaced his meetings with his new girlfriend. Is it possible for him to stay clean and sober by not going to meetings? How long can he stay on the methadone clinic and is it healthy? This has been a very painful break up but now I'm concerend that my son will not have his father if he relapses. He has been clean and sober for 8 months and that's great but he doesn't seem to be doing everything he should like getting a job and going to meetings, I'm not even sure he still talks to his sponsor. I have heard of the pink cloud but his has been sober for a bit...is it possible he is still on that pink cloud? I'm just confused with all of it and want what is best for my son and was completely taking off guard with him finding a new girlfriend, I would of never expected that. Someone please give me advice on what to do or think about this crazy situation.

[Dallas]

Hello Confused. My suggestion would be to care of you and your kids and keep your mind off of him. What he does or doesn't do will not affect you as much as it affects him -- unless you let it. All this energy spent on him could be spent on you and making your life better. You can't save the world and you can't save him. You can only do what you can do to save yourself. I know it's difficult. It hurts. It sucks. Really sucks. If you were in the middle of a thunderstorm with lightning and floods and high threatening winds all around you -- would you stay in the middle of the storm and keep asking "Why?" The answer to "why" is not going to help you. It doesn't matter why. It only matters to -- get out of the storm.

When I went through some similar stuff that you're going through -- one of the things that helped me, was to visit with Al-Anon. They are really great in dealing with things like this. If you'd like to connect with them, here is a link to them: www.al-anon.alateen.org

I wish the very best for you and that's the best I can suggest.

Dallas