- first real test

first real test




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby snheiser » Wed May 05, 2010 7:55 am

I too have often been very anxious about going on business trips or similar excursions, which seem to be an excuse for everyone to cut loose and to drink like there's no tomorrow, among other things. So, when I have to go away on these trips, I bring my little red travelling Big Book, which is like having my spiritual bullet-proof vest. I find I end up doing a lot of meditation in advance of these trips, like doing extra long conditioning runs before a race. Just my 2 cents, your milage may vary.

I'm really glad to hear you made it through without drinking. God Bless,

Chris
snheiser
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 7:33 am

time

Postby Bobby D » Thu May 06, 2010 5:20 pm

Thanks Keith... It really is encouraging to hear I possibly have a positive impact like that...

Still have sooo much to learn and such a long way to go... I'm closing in on 4 months "dry" .. not really sure I consider myself sober though... In alot of ways I still have the character defectts I came in with ...

My home group is awesome.. we meet every day @ 07:00 ... I get there probably 4 - 5 times a week...Today we were discussing honesty and humility...some of the old timers were sharing about bragging and boasting and how they used to build themselves up while in the company of the "lowbrow" drunks at bars ect..how much better their life is now...Not sure when that transformation happens... but I'm not there yet...

I don't really do that BUT ... This weekend while at a family event My brothers and some cousins mentioned to me how great it was seeing me sober and the discussion eventually found it's way to how hard it must be for me to be around the drinking and not drink...

Well my ego kicked in again.. I said.. It's not a big deal really.. just make up your mind not to drink and don't.. simple as that.. I left out the 5 days a week of AA meetings .. the daily visits to this board.. the nightly praying for strength...

I feel kinda about about that... Why did I leave that out..I tell myself that it's because I dont want them to worry BIT... Is it because I wanted them to think..oooooh look how strong Bob is.. he has unbeleivable fortitude and will power...

Thanks and god bless
Bobby D
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Delaware

Postby Bobby D » Thu May 06, 2010 7:21 pm

The other thing that really jumps out at me is... while I've only got a short time ... I am very focused on staying clean... most of the group has had one or more significant relapses.. ( same here on this site too ) .. .makes it seem almost inevitable that you lose respect for the disease and slip... this is a litlle discouraging for me....
Bobby D
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Delaware

Postby Dallas » Fri May 07, 2010 5:54 am

Bobby wrote:I'm closing in on 4 months "dry" .. not really sure I consider myself sober though...


Yes, you can consider yourself sober Bobby! :lol: If you're sober your sober! Period. Don't get into the debating society over dry or sober. If an alkie hasn't had a drink -- they are sober. And, you can't get any more sober -- than sober.

Regardless of how much time any of us have -- we're going to have ups and downs. Sometimes, these will be very brief ups or downs. Sometimes, they'll be long ups or downs. We can most often have fewer of the downs, and have them last for shorter periods if we're working on using the tools. But, even then -- most of the alkies I've known, will at least have some periods of difficulty that come up. And, as long as you're sober -- your sober.

Congrats on your sobriety! Allow yourself to feel good about it -- it's a major accomplishment in your life. You can stand up tall, and face anything that comes your way -- with the realization that -- yep, this crap might be tough -- but I am sober!!! And, sometimes, sober is all that we've got!

Other times, you'll start to realize... "Heck man! I can't remember the last time I had any crap come up! Dang! Imagine that!" :lol:

We don't take babies out of cribs, throw them on the floor and say "Walk dang it!" :lol: And, alkies shouldn't expect that either. When we first get sober -- it's like being born all over again. We have to start from scratch because often, it's all new to us!
Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby DiggerinVA » Fri May 07, 2010 12:52 pm

Bobby relapse is not a requirement for the program.

I believe what you are referring to is a calmness about your self. Well that relief comes from working the steps. Heck I could not put the plug in the jug until I prayed to God to take my problems and the alcohol away from me. Then it took a long time to find the person to receive the 5th step so I never wrote the 4th, just thought it through. Once I did I sat down and typed it out on this computer. Completing the first run on the 5th step took a while I used my sponsor and others to explain my situation. Then I asked God to remove my shortcomings and stated to repair what I could from my past (that is a work in progress). Then the promises began to come true. With the daily working of 10 and 11 (well not perfect but I try). I was able to go any where I have a purpose.

So simply put let the program work for you. You do have to do the simple work and it will come with time.

"Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." From page 84 in the Big Book, they said it so well.
Peace Brother
:)
DiggerinVA
 
Posts: 152
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Williamsburg, VA

Postby Bobby D » Wed May 12, 2010 8:17 pm

Thanks for helping me stay on track....I've really been "muscling through" my sobriety these past couple months, and do realize that it's not something that should.. or could be done by myself.. Dont currently have a sponser..( had one for a short time ) not sure how odd that is with 4 month in.. but ... It is what it is.. I just want to go at my own pace and my 1st sponser was pushing me faster than I was comfortable with

When I start digging down ...I'm finding there are doors that I'm not sure I want to open right now.. like I'm not ready to let go of some of these resentments... I know it sounds just wrong.. but I have a right to be pissed off about some of this stuff...Maybe I'm scared...

But your right.. this may be tough BUT I"M SOBER !!! and damn happy about that

Thanks again

bob
Bobby D
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Delaware

Postby Bobby D » Fri May 14, 2010 5:16 am

thanks keith... alot to think about... alot of what you say rings true, No I'm not ready to throw the towel in...

I think what I did with the sponser was.. I was supposed to have one so asked someone to do it... NOT becuase i felt a conection or was even ready.. just trying to do what I was supposed to.

Weekends are the toughest part ... all week I bury myself in a 12 plus hour day.. too much time on my hands on Sat and Sun...Not that I'm looking for a drink.. just afraid of relapse..

Started reading BB again.. going to try and start writing stuff down tonight after i get home from work....

Thanks again for the support

bob
Bobby D
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Delaware

#$%^&*

Postby Bobby D » Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:38 pm

Well....I guess I'm starting over... Made 7 months then relapsed for past 3 weeks now ... started innocent enough.. was on vacation in Bahamas the end of July...Maybe a bit overconfident and full of myself...had TWO beers with dinner.. actually stopped.. next two nights just fruit juice...GOOD... 3rd night a couple glasses of wine and still stopped..GOOD... in my mind I convinced myself I could have a couple and stop ...THIS TIME...well we all know where that went.. I'm surprised at how fast I got back to finishing off a fifth of Beam !! Without even a hint of a fight..

First meeting this morning since July 26...I feel so embarraseed and dissapointed that I pissed away 7 months of sobriety..., that I'm surprised I even went... When the leader asked if this was anyones first meeting since their last drink.. I was silent...

I think I know where I went wrong.. I tried to muscle through...By myself.. thing is I am everyones elses rock...... I dont ask for help well... Never got completely through step 4 or beyond... well maybe it's 5 I couldn't do...b'cause I know my resentments and character faults... God knows them...BUT ..Tell another human being !!! I honestly dont know if I can get to that right now....

Anyway.. i guess starting over is better than not

thanks

Bob
Bobby D
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:30 am
Location: Delaware

Re: #$%^&*

Postby Larry H. » Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:53 pm

Bobby D wrote:Well....I guess I'm starting over... Made 7 months then relapsed for past 3 weeks now ... started innocent enough.. was on vacation in Bahamas the end of July...Maybe a bit overconfident and full of myself...had TWO beers with dinner.. actually stopped.. next two nights just fruit juice...GOOD... 3rd night a couple glasses of wine and still stopped..GOOD... in my mind I convinced myself I could have a couple and stop ...THIS TIME...well we all know where that went.. I'm surprised at how fast I got back to finishing off a fifth of Beam !! Without even a hint of a fight..

First meeting this morning since July 26...I feel so embarraseed and dissapointed that I pissed away 7 months of sobriety..., that I'm surprised I even went... When the leader asked if this was anyones first meeting since their last drink.. I was silent...

I think I know where I went wrong.. I tried to muscle through...By myself.. thing is I am everyones elses rock...... I dont ask for help well... Never got completely through step 4 or beyond... well maybe it's 5 I couldn't do...b'cause I know my resentments and character faults... God knows them...BUT ..Tell another human being !!! I honestly dont know if I can get to that right now....

Anyway.. i guess starting over is better than not

thanks

Bob


Welcome back Bob

Many never make it back. It has been my experience that we cannot have long term sobriety unless we complete all of the steps. Especially 4 and 5. Only you can decide if you want to remain sober. If you want that the directions are in the big book.

I wish you well what ever your decision.

Larry,
-----------------
You can't save your face & your ass at the same time
Larry H.
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:55 pm
Location: Brooksville, Florida

Postby Sermon » Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:50 pm

Welcome back Bob.

I haven't been on here in awhile, been working alot and really studying the big book. I did read your posts for the last couple of months. When I had got down to the part where you said you were not ready to give away some of the resentments it almost sounded as if the Ego was being reconstructed. I'm only saying that not to talk down to you but because I've seen it happen to me and I'm identifying with what you posted. It says in the big book that:
Resentments are the "number one" offfender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual mallady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. Pg. 64

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. Pg.66

It is my experience that we do not get FREE without completely giving ourselves to this simple program. That calls for work on our part. But the good news is that if we are honest with ourselves the work we are doing is not that hard. Nowhere close to as hard as trying to live the double life most of us are so familar with. Steps 4 & 5 are the ego smashing steps. They bring us to a since of humility where we can begin to meet our higher power.

Most of the sponsees that I work with I try to get them through steps 1-9 as fast as I can. Not because I want to overwhelm them, but because I don't like dealing with "sick" people. From my experience the newcomer will tend to move into a comfort zone if we let them do so. You know, do a couple steps then work on their "inventory" for 4 or 5 months if they can make it that long. When I got here i was that guy that had to be pushed and beaten into a state of reasonableness. But maybe I was just one of the sick ones.

Hope this post helps ya, God Bless you with happiness, joyness, and freedom as you trudge the Road to Happy Destiny
Sermon
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:48 am
Location: Texas

PreviousNext

Return to Help for alcoholics who want to stay sober

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 1 guest









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - first real test